bad situation made worse(WARNING POSSABLE TRIGGER)

We were due to have an apointment with our T yesterday so we went as normal now Paige hads a crush on our T a big one so what we were told when we got there was that he had been involved in a car crash on sunday and had died that morning so understandably i was shosked and Paige was crushed she hasnt spoken to me or anyone since and im not sure what to do.
We are being sent to a new T in the new year every time Paige is out she just sits there normally with a blank posting screen on here.

I am so sorry kadssdak. This is an awful, unfortunate thing to have happened. It sounds like Paige is really numbing to the situation. Since this is a very extreme stress response, it's safe to say she is definitely overwhelmed. The best I can say to do is to be there for yourself and her, and nurture all the parts of you during this grieving time. Hugs if wanted...

Thank you im okay and tom dosnt seem to care but Paige is taking it really hard she just wont talk the only time she has made a sound since is to cry. I just hope she will come round to the new T in the new year but i dont blame her if not

That's horrible and I feel so sorry for Paige!

Paige, its okay to cry. I'm sorry you lost him. I wish I could give her a hug right now.

I'm so sorry for your loss, this is a horrible thing to have happened.

Paige: You're allowed to cry and feel the pain, and talking can help. If we could hug you right now we would.

Dark xx

Oh (((Paige))). We are so sorry for your loss.

i am so sorry

Thank you all for your kind words.
I don't really know what to do i really don't want a new T its not the crush thing its trust i trusted our T and felt safe and that was hard to do and i don't think i can do it again.

Paige.

Oh Paige. I am just so sorry. It is going to be very hard to trust again, that's no lie. I wish I could sugarcoat it and say, yes, when you get a new T, you will immediately be able to trust that person with all your parts and thoughts and emotions. But it's not gonna happen like this. It's gonna take time. Maybe a long time. But I do believe it is possible and I do believe that with all of you working together it will happen.

Trust is a hard thing to muster, and especially hard for people who have been betrayed consistently throughout their lives. Any member of this board, and other boards too, will say that. You may have to go through a few Ts to find another one who you can really click with, understands/believes in DID, who you can trust. And you may need to process these feelings of loss with your new T and that's okay.

I don't want to invalidate your experience, but I can say that I know/understand a little of what your feeling right now. Not the same, but I'm familiar with the fear that I won't be able to trust again. After I breached my last therapist's trust, she terminated me via voicemail. I did feel crushed. And guilty. After two more tries, I found a therapist who I've been with the last 3 months, and I am so thankful. It's not the same as with my last therapist, but I can honestly say I trust her. I didn't think I would ever be able to do that again. But it happened. Trust will happen. It's gonna take work, but one day you'll think "wow, I can honestly say that I trust this person. It may not be the same as my relationship with my last therapist, but I trust him/her."

PM me if you want to, and I hope you're doing better.

-L

This is a major phobia to me. Every time my T goes on vacation I feel like she's died or gonna die or on the brink of death or something. I get so panicked everything goes out of control. I commute to my appointments for 1.5 hr each way (I moved to a new job) just because I don't think I can trust anyone else like that and DEFINITELY not quickly. I feel like she's the only one. So, I can understand some of what you may be feeling, and I feel soooo bad for you. I hope you at least can quickly get into some "basic" therapy just to have someone to talk to about this, if nothing else.

Good luck.