by Johnny-Jack » Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:53 pm
Hi, Ashley. My system is definitely very interested in how you're doing. We were touched by what you wrote about wanting so much to be there for your young son Brandon. It resonated for us. We think you are a good mother facing significant challenges. He's a lucky boy.
DID results from significant abuse or neglect from caregivers in childhood, so I guess it shouldn't be surprising if one or more parts also had other psychological conditions to deal with. Host John had several signs of OCD in childhood. Having to complete things in sets, setting artificial goals and feeling compelled to meet them, checking and re-checking on whether he did something, taking "the right number of steps" on sidewalks. The latter actually stayed with him into adulthood and he still falls back on it occasionally, almost nostalgically. We know that the OCD was practiced to produce comfort, a feeling that things were under his control. We believe that he created various rituals in thinking in order to remain grounded.
He used to get something like deja vu often and it upset him. We now suspect that was an awareness of things that he himself hadn't experienced, but an alter had. Because so much in his life didn't make sense, like lost hours, he chose little anchors in thinking. One of them was a knothole in a tree where he once saw an ant colony living. When things wouldn't make sense, he would return in his mind to the busy ants going about their business, oblivious of everything in the world except the task which was directly in front of them. That a colony of ants are multiple beings functioning as one not surprisingly struck a chord in his mind. It also seems to have been a metaphor for "keep your mind on the here and now, don't let yourself get unnecessarily distracted by things you can't figure out."
Dx = DID. My blog. My personal Periodic Table of 78 alters.
Ab Ad Al Am An Ar As Ba Be Br Ca Cb Ch Cl Cm Cn Co Cp Ct Cu Cv D Eb Ed Er Es F Fl Ga Gd Go Gr Gw He Hk Hs Ht I J Jh Jk Jn Jy Ke Ki Kn Ky Li Lu Md Mi Mt Mx Mz Ne Ni O Pe Pi Q Ra Rd Ry Sc Se Sh Sk Sx Tk Ty U V Wa Wi X Y Ze Zn
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