Animal Alters

** triggers, abuse **

Well my last post went off in that it was about a human alter Little John. I'm not sure why Little John replaced Adam as host at age 1 something, but the wolfdog is age 2. This means the wolfdog protected both Adam and Little John. So my working hypothesis now is that the ritual torture was for being a little boy, the random beatings were for having brown eyes. Yeah, I know, sounds twisted huh? It was. Maybe two different alters within the mother. Or the same alter with different triggers. I had various names for the mother's alters and two were the monster and the animal (my sense was it was a lion). If they were different, the wolfdog arose in response to the the animal, perhaps not surprisingly. The two separate strains of attack might explain why the little sister endured the brown-eyes beatings but not the other and, though damaged with zero attachment, says she doesn't have DID. It would make sense that one alter preferred one type of damage, the other another type. I think of these things and do not wonder in the least why I became multiple. How in the world could I have possibly had any attachment to the kinder alter in the mother when 1 or 2 of her alters were so vicious to my young body. I have memories that indicate I set the record for early and fast potty training. When you can trigger torture when your boy parts are seen, you learn quickly how to hide them at all costs.

This might work for some of you. We are doing it slowly and they are making up their own minds if they want to human or remain animal.

Of my 19 Persecutor/Abusers many are animals and I am finding as I talk to them that they are interested in choosing a human form. So far they all seem to have a human age under 12 and after they pick out their photo and I post it on my blog they are thrilled!!!! All of these are in their own safe place for now, isolated other than they can come into my body anytime they want, so they don't abuse the others in the system, which they all do. They are allowed to decorate and furnish their home either for their animal form or human form. It will be interesting to see what they all choose now they are in their own safe place where others cannot hurt them.

M is Drowning - Mother Introject
Lil' M - Mother Introject
M the Elder - Mother Introject
M - Mother Introject
Peyton (Doom) - Mother Introject
Bear - Mother Introject
Gorilla - Father Introject
Sir Rat - Father Introject
M-Postpartum - Mother Introject
With Glasses - Father Introject
Lion - Father Introject
Snake - not a parent introject
Without Glasses - Father Introject
Drunk - Father Introject (human)
Dragon - Mother Introject
Snake - Father Introject
Vulture - Mother Introject
Tarantula - Father Introject
Frank the Father - Father Introject

Is it possible/"normal" to have a half and half situation? The closest thing I have to an animal alter is Ray, but she's not a full animal. She's very intelligent, though has mostly a "dog" mindset. She can understand nearly everything said to her, but originally she didn't know how to speak and she still prefers not to. She relies on body language and noises such a whimpers or growls to communicate, and reacts to situations like an animal would (ie, if she's scared she whines, if she's threatened she'll bark/growl and even bite, etc). In my/her mind her appearance is that she has a human face/body, dog ears, a husky tail, and paws instead of hands/feet (although she's learning that she does have hands and can use them). She's so animal-like that she's taken the role as our inner group/family's "pet". I guess I just don't really understand why she seems to be so different from other animal alters, aside from not being fully "animal". She's not a protector and she's not a persecutor, so I guess I'm just confused as to why she's so animalistic, and writing this out on here might help me think.

And just because I'm interested, I'll list out possible introjects (even though it'll be a short list).

Kat: father introject (though don't tell her that ).
Rain: mother introject
"Hannibal": father introject

Um, let's continue the list (warning: I'm using EP/ANP stuff to help myself).

Kat: protector, ex-persecutor, EP/ANP (she seems to fall into both).
Rain: protector/system-keeper, ANP
L.C.: EP, seems to be the "holder" of painful memories
Ray: ? (I think she's an EP, she's definitely not an ANP, but I don't know what role she plays otherwise)
Cassie: damaged core, EP
Myself (I forgot, I get to list myself now!): protector, ANP in Cassie's place
Lynn: EP so far
"Hannibal": persecutor
Rebel: ?
Kyra: ?

You know, this definitely does help me to map things out and understand roles better. I should do this more often. Sorry if I got distracted from the actual thread topic! I don't mean to steal the thread or distract others in any way. I just started typing things out while thinking things through and got a bit carried away.

I don't know. I ask mine if they are Father or Mother introjects and they tell me. Most of those take the name of the Mother or Father as well.

Sure an alter can be anything you designed them to be as a child. My animals so far would all like to be human again after they no longer feel they need to be the "toughest guy on the block." For now though they are all still terrified and are going to hang on to their animal status.