"The flock"

bourbon wrote:I've never had a T baby talk to me, or any of us for that matter. That would be... odd. I can see why they choose to not do this now. OR at least so I've heard. The more you talk to them differently the more they see each other as differently which apparently goes against the therapy with an aim of integration?

i hate to say it but honestly i miss it i think the times i lost time were associated with that; T speaking very gently, a nurse covering me up with a blanket and tucking in the covers.

SPOILER WARNING

I've gotten to the part in the book where Jo confesses to Lynn that she wishes she could see Lynn outside of therapy. I confess I myself have fantasized of the same thing. If my T invited me to her home for T I would ecstatic, but of course also nervous like Jo was. Both my old T and my current T have used a phrase like "If I took you to a school you would see how little 10 year olds are" to help me convince me certain things were not "my fault." I wish she were serious and that we could actually have a field trip like that.

Ugh I feel so weird opening up like that but it's the truth.

Absolutely. I have had the exact same fantasies and wishes. You are very honest with yourself and that can only be a good thing.

dividedtruth89
I think that is such a great idea! Not that u could probably go with ur T, but i bet u could somehow set up a visit 2 a school, 2 c how 10 year olds act, r ,etc... Its such a great idea i might c if somehow i can do it. Thank u!
I have not read The Flock, but i just ordered The Gatekeeper. Has anyone read it? Any other books u can think of that u would recommend? Thanks.

Never read the gatekeeper, but will look it up. I really want to read Sybil next.

I have finished The Flock, and must say it was quite a difficult read. Mostly because I related to Joan so much. Not in relation to her experiences; I don't have memories of real abuse, I don't lose time frequently though I think I did one day a few months ago(still wondering if I actually did or not). I never "sit outside myself" or "go inside."

But her attachment needs; these I can relate to. I long to be as attached to my new therapist as I was with my old one. Strangely, though, I can not deny that it seems like she is the one preventing this from happening. She seems to be supportive, yet quite distant. Lynn's reparenting technique reminded me somewhat of my old therapist, and I found myself crying and grieving that loss once again while reading the book. For anyone who isn't aware, my old therapist terminated our relationship after I made the poor decision of recording a conversation without permission(the motivation behind it was to help me understand and absorb things better, but she understandably saw it as a breach of trust).

I don't know what I do and don't disagree with, as far as Lynn's therapeutic technique for Joan. Somehow it seems like the perfect dream therapy, what anyone with insecure attachment patterns growing up would long for. But obviously not a very realistic dream in today's day and age.

I think perhaps your current therapist, aware of your attachment issues, is especially vigilant in keeping the professional boundaries in place as is ethically required in therapy today. My old therapist was very very very professional. No talking outside of the therapy room, not even an hello. No smiling, seriously, no smiling. No small talk, at all. She was a psychoanalytical psychotherapist and was very good, but as I said, very robot like!

I'm trying to think of a book that I can suggest where the therapist follows the code of conduct for these days. You might like 'finding normal'. It is a tale of abuse and consequential depression but about half way through the book the author tells us about dissociated ego states that she has which aren't as clear cut so no amnesia kind of thing. You may be able to relate to that more than you could with Joan and the flock.

Bourbon

Hi Bourbon. Would you mind sharing with me who the author of "Finding Normal" is? It sounds like something I could really relate to. (Apparently there are several books by that title and I couldn't find any that fit that description.) Thanks!!

Finding Normal - My Journey of Recovery from an Abusive Childhood by Debra Curreen.

Awesome, thank you. Just purchased on Amazon: It's on its way from the UK to the USA!

(like your new blog by the way!)

Thank you, brandic. Appreciate that I've actually had it for over a year now but have just decided to start afresh and go public.

Bourbon

I think its so important to keep n mind that most therapist got n 2 therapy, because they had their own issues, that they came out of, and wanted to help others. I know that is a broad statement.
I was reading and im not sure out of which book. But it was saying that a huge hurtle is passed in the proccess of the DID client when they get the "Aha", that everyone has their issues and that everyone is messed up, n their own way. Thats not exactly how it was worded, but close enough.
For myself it has been a giant leap to realize that Everyone has their issues, big issues, wide issues deep issues. Everyone has their hurts and brokenness, and is at their own level of healing.
A therapist that wont let u smile, or even one that totally breaks off, instead of working through, i just find it as really sad. For myself, i feel this way. It is my insurance, and myself that is paying for therapy, and i will at the very least b co-partner n how it is to go. Pay to b controlled, I dont think so. I already paid, and the price was my childhood. I dont believe u were taping the session out of any manipulative mind set, meaning to do wrong. I can understand it being a hard thing to ask permission for, and im not saying it was right. But wow i am so sorry that it had 2 go down that way, instead of being worked out. I once dropped a T for taping without asking me, but i think it is very different the other way around. Again, i am sorry that she wasnt able 2 work it out with u. And that stems from her and her issues not u. I know T's that would have worked it out with u.