Voices...

My bad! Just re-read and saw where you said that.

It's very possible that he (and the rest of you) got this far without being able to switch in a non-problematic environment. Most of the alters I have who do switch regularly fill very specific tasks - for our physical protector, can not switch out just cos she wants to. She can pretty much only switch out if we are in physical danger and may need to either diffuse a fight, or be in one.

Just had a thought - it could be that you're so used to being in control that it's foreign for you to let go of that. That you could feel the switch happening but couldn't quite complete it might mean that you need to learn how to let go of the body (and potentially consciousness) for someone else to be able to get out. For me that is a difficult thing to do by choice.

I know it is very difficult! I've been trying with coaching help from my DID friend! The furthest I have got is feeling half "not there" like semi conscious but that's as far as they can go. The girl Sophie is really violent making me twitch as is the evil one but I think he just does that on purpose. Aaron and the evil one are the only ones that got me to the "pulling" stage.

But apparently last night in my sleep I was twitching too and my legs and arms sometimes moved by themselves! This convinces me that I'm maybe not doing it unconsciously like I kinda thought I might be.

I know kinda what you mean. We had an ultra-freakout when we suddenly had an awareness of "me" vs. "them."

The sense of "otherness" alone used to be enough to keep Aecy from being able to switch out, because as long as we didn't realize we were switching, it was fine, but when it was a "foreign" entity, it made it uber-hard to let the other become "me" and let Aecy become the "not me" person, if that makes sense. Especially since Aecy had always considered herself the "real me." It took trusting the others before that was possible.

Also, it might be that you're just too tense to let Aaron take control. I don't know about you, but I have trouble with switching and power struggles when one or more of us is tense or hugely stressed to the point where we can't trust each other and work together. Sometimes it takes multiple alters forcing the main one out of the "me" seat before that one can get a rest and let someone else take over for a while.

That, and we don't always pay attention to who is out. We switch or mix without realizing it on a regular basis. It hasn't caused us problems yet, so I'd say don't worry about it. :] It's ok.

Though if you can talk to the one causing the twitching, see what it's worried about and find a way to work things out with it, that'd be good. We usually have twitching issues because of either Violet or James, and usually it's because Vie's afraid of something that needs to be talked about and addressed, especially since some of us have a bad habit of pushing such concerns aside and trying to force us to do more than others can handle, which usually doesn't work out so well. ._.;

The reason he's twitching is becaues he wants to be out although he does sometimes react to external stimulus or if I say something or do something he disapproves of he makes me twitch to let me know he isn't happy.

My body used to twist and twitch before my alter Jack first took over (since childhood), but it turned out that was him trying to come out and me struggling not to let him. From what I've read, all alters seem to be able to come out eventually in therapy or under hypnosis. Maybe not gatekeepers so much but their role is different. Only my experience, but two of my alters told me when I asked them why they weren't around much that I was the problem with them not being able to come out. I was shocked. It didn't feel like that to me. I'm not stingy.

But I did admit to having a serious 'icky' feeling about the idea of someone else taking over my body. It used to happen throughout the day in childhood but I had amnesia about all that. I also found that when I really thought about it, I didn't quite trust them. I didn't know if they'd try to stay, if I'd get zonked and have to stay inside. Would they do something foolish or embarrassing? Could they make me lose my job and all the security in my life? These were reasonable if unacknowledged fears. I mean, I thought I knew them and they seemed to be for me but...

Here are some potential questions. Do you trust Aaron? What do you think he'll do if he does take over? Is it clear to you and, if so, do you believe him?

Johnny-Jack wrote:My body used to twist and twitch before my alter Jack first took over (since childhood), but it turned out that was him trying to come out and me struggling not to let him. From what I've read, all alters seem to be able to come out eventually in therapy or under hypnosis. Maybe not gatekeepers so much but their role is different. Only my experience, but two of my alters told me when I asked them why they weren't around much that I was the problem with them not being able to come out. I was shocked. It didn't feel like that to me. I'm not stingy.

But I did admit to having a serious 'icky' feeling about the idea of someone else taking over my body. It used to happen throughout the day in childhood but I had amnesia about all that. I also found that when I really thought about it, I didn't quite trust them. I didn't know if they'd try to stay, if I'd get zonked and have to stay inside. Would they do something foolish or embarrassing? Could they make me lose my job and all the security in my life? These were reasonable if unacknowledged fears. I mean, I thought I knew them and they seemed to be for me but...

Here are some potential questions. Do you trust Aaron? What do you think he'll do if he does take over? Is it clear to you and, if so, do you believe him?

I think I trust him. I mean, it's becoming more clear that he has anger towards some people in my life and does not like them even if I really do... He causes trouble, brings out negative and angry feelings in me that cause me to do things I regret like yell at people close to me who don't deserve it... It may be a reason for me to subconsciously keep him out, but consciously I kinda want him to switch out. I trust him, I don't think he's violent or will be violent towards anyone I love, because even when he forces anger out through me I don't get violent urges...

I am not able to just let the switch happen, and this is causing a lot of extra stress. Some of my insiders are desperate to come out, and pushing really hard. I am hoping that therapy can help me with this.