Murder Fantasies. **Trigger: murder/blood**

TK is my aggressive, animalistic, serial killer alter. He is a blood junkie. He is obsessed with the stuff, and more importantly, killing. I usually have a dream or daydream about killing a classmate or just some dude off the street all the time, and we've generally agreed to thinking that he's "Killed" about 57 or so people, even though we've had hundreds of these "Fantasies".

But lately, I've been waking up at 3 AM or so with small cuts on my arm. And they were clean... like they were licked clean.

Now, normally we have a once-a-month visit to the Red Cross to donate blood, satisfying his needs and putting Zack, C.Nic and my personal "STD and other disease" questions out of the way, namely "Are we still 'Clean'?". But lately, with this surfacing... its kinda scary. And I don't want to have giant cuts all over my arms when I go again on Thursday. How do I calm him down?

Thank you.

EDIT: I guess I should clarify. Its not me that has these fantasies, its TK. I just have notes and pictures that he's drawn in my agenda that kinda give me clues on what he wants to do with these people, and for years now, thats all he needed. Now, he's cutting me to get "More"; I guess he's built up a tolerance of sorts, he wants to do it for real. How do I stop him?

..... I usually have a dream or daydream about killing a classmate or just some dude off the street all the time, and we've generally agreed to thinking that he's "Killed" about 57 or so people, even though we've had hundreds of these "Fantasies".

You are obviosuly aware that you don't have DiD, or you wouldn't be aware of the activites and use the word "I" instead of "he" ?

[urlhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantasy_(psychology)][/url]

There are better ways to cope with stress/boredom. Don't dwell on such thoughts , or they will get much worse. As soon as you think them, think "This is wrong. they have familys, friends, loved ones and are human beings, not objects in my fantasy world."

The_Ghoul wrote: You are obviosuly aware that you don't have DiD, or you wouldn't be aware of the activites and use the word "I" instead of "he" ?

I've pretty much accepted the fact that its me, with about 4 other people, and I've spent years trying to correct my "We, I mean, uh, I" issue, mainly because whenever I did solo projects, the second I said "We", people thought I was in a group. The small annoyances are always the worst....

With TK, usually I kinda just black out, start at 11:45, end up at 12:10 with no idea what happened in between. This is during English class, and he's nonverbal except for hissing and growls.

Did I seriously just defend my own insanity? Wow... I hope your right, man. I Hope I don't have it, otherwise, We, I mean, I'd be pissed.

(Don't be offended. Sorry!)

What I'm asking is if theres any way to stop him from cutting me? Cause even though I'm not there when he does it, I do have to deal with them when he's done.

Have you seen a doctor about this? : /

In 2004, I was diagnosed by a psychologist at a place called "The Children's Home" in downtown Boise. (http://www.childrenshomesociety.com/). I was 10-11ish around that time. I was there for about 6 months; in a group therapy deal with juvy kids for about 2-3 months (Maybe it was 4, I don't really remember...), and taken out for singles for the rest, where I was given the DES test and diagnosed. That was the last time I saw a shrink for this, I simply can't afford one right now, and we don't have insurance, so... yeah. I've had to resort to this forum to help me out, which so far has helped. Thanks, by the way.

NicS wrote:In 2004, I was diagnosed by a psychologist at a place called "The Children's Home" in downtown Boise. (http://www.childrenshomesociety.com/). I was 10-11ish around that time. I was there for about 6 months; in a group therapy deal with juvy kids for about 2-3 months (Maybe it was 4, I don't really remember...), and taken out for singles for the rest, where I was given the DES test and diagnosed. That was the last time I saw a shrink for this, I simply can't afford one right now, and we don't have insurance, so... yeah. I've had to resort to this forum to help me out, which so far has helped. Thanks, by the way.

Can I ask what you did to end up in Juvy?

No, I didn't go there, I was in group therapy with kids from juvy. Sorry for confusing you.

Well, a lot of cutters do things that resemble drawing blood to help them cope. You can get red marker and draw on your arm, or make fake blood like the kind that would be used in a horror movie(the recipe has been posted here before, but I can't remember it). I think it'll help if TK is only cutting for blood and not pain.

Freud likes blood a whole lot too. Not our blood so we don't have cutting issues. Usually he only has fantasies(hallucinations if he's manic, bipolar does that) that pass with time.

Lacan

I don't think fake blood will help. Its that iron smell that seems to sell it. And he does lick it.

I have made a lot of fake blood for projects, so I got that part down, and I figured that maybe that it'd be it, but no. He is cutting only for blood. But it has to be real, apparently. Is there a way I can mix corn starch, water, food coloring and iron together that WON'T kill me in the process, or am I just ###$?

I've got an idea for you if fake blood doesn't work. Try eating raw meat or, if you can't stand the thought or worry about health issues, eat medium rare. That one helps my more animalistic side because you get both meat and blood from it. It also happens to be very good for my body as I seem to have iron or protein deficiencies of some sort.

I'm googling for some recipes too, but I have found any yet.