Murder Fantasies. **Trigger: murder/blood**

I've got a few recipes, but I've never used them, so I have no idea if they'll work.

There's one recipe, called Blood Pudding, that might be a replacement if TK so desires. It's an actual recipe used in various cultures, but it's not so much drinkable, as it is edible. Also, if you can find the pig's blood, you can always offer TK to drink just that. Here's the Blood Pudding recipe I found online:

Ingredients:
1 quart pig's blood
12 ounces bread crumbs
1/2 lb. suet
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 quart milk
1 cup cooked barley
1 cup dry rolled oats
1 ounce ground mint

Preparation:
Mix all ingredients together in a bowl; pour into a large kettle or Dutch oven and bring to a boil. Pour into a wide shallow bowl and season again if necessary. Chill thoroughly, until firm. When cold it may be cut into slices and fried.

Another thought is to make fake blood from one of the following recipes and cook it in cast iron {to get a little more iron out of it} and maybe even add some cow's blood {from a steak} to it. I got this recipe from a place called "the Raven''s Fake Blood". I just copy and pasted it here word for word so there'll be some of her commentary included in it:

Chocolate Blood

I was promised the recipe years ago, but only came across it quite recently. It was worth the wait. The mixture may seem odd, but it tastes pretty good, looks surprisingly like real blood, splatters like real blood, dries like real blood, and had several people asking me if I was really okay after that staged fight....

1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon cocoa powder
3 or 4 tablespoon corn syrup
1/2 to 1 teaspoon red food coloring
2 drops yellow or green food coloring (optional)

Mix the cocoa powder thoroughly into the water before adding the other ingredients - it may help to use warm water. After adding the rest, blend the concoction well, and then wait for it to settle a bit. Either skim the bubbles & chocolate scum off the top with the edge of a kleenex, or pour the mixture into another container. The longer it sits, the more the cocoa tends to settle to the bottom, which oddly mimicks the effect of real blood seperating.

If you splatter this mixture onto cloth, it makes neat two-part marks which dry into pretty convincing bloodstains. If you let it run from a victim's mouth and then let it dry, the blood darkens and cakes to the skin in much the same way real blood does. I can also say from personal experience that any washcloth used to wipe down the 'bloody' face afterwards looks remarkably realistic, too.

cocoanutmonkey wrote:I've got an idea for you if fake blood doesn't work. Try eating raw meat or, if you can't stand the thought or worry about health issues, eat medium rare. That one helps my more animalistic side because you get both meat and blood from it.

I thank you for this, mainly because of the bolded part. That is such a relief, I really thought my alter was the only killer-ish guy. Thank you also for the recipes... not sure where I'll get pigs blood, but should I get some, I assume thats all I'll really need, but for filmmaking, the other one helps a lot too, so thank you!

Pig's Blood and Beef's Blood can be found at some Asian markets, especially Filipino markets (from the one's I have been to I've always seen the tubs of it there). It doesn't help to look around the meat section at any of those places for exotic meats and products. I almost threw up when I saw a bright green leaky tub of Beef Bile at a Filipino market a few months ago, haha.

Hope this helps.

NicS wrote: That is such a relief, I really thought my alter was the only killer-ish guy.

No, I've got an alter, or voice in my head or whatever who desperately wants to know what it feels like to take a life, which mortifies me. I'm a pretty peaceful guy, and I don't want to hurt anyone, but someone in here does. I've nicknamed him Dexter, because he's very similar to the character from the eponymous TV show. He seems like like that name and has continued using it.

Luckily I'm able to keep us from doing anything violent, so he mostly makes comments and shows me images of fantasies about killing (and sometimes suicide). Sometimes I think he's able to control my mouth and make his comments out loud. I've noticed that his voice is more gravelly than mine.

He seems to have enough anger to go around for everyone, including me. He doesn't do much cutting though. He likes blood, but he really prefers inflicting pain, so when he takes it out on me it usually involves him beating the $#%^ out of my legs. He can make it hurt for a long time. Once he elbowed me right above the knee and it hurt for 2 or 3 months anytime I squatted down. The beatings are at least more discreet. He keeps it to places where people aren't likely to see, a habit he probably picked up from our abuser. I live with my gf though, and it's much harder to hide them from her, so occasionally I have to come up with some stupid-ass explanation for the massive bruises on my legs. Luckily that hasn't happened in several months either, so it's been really nice to be able to walk normally, without pain or a limp.

Anyways, I'm not really sure what the point of all that was, I guess just to say that you're not the only one with a would-be serial killer in your head. I fully believe that if Dex was ever able to totally take control of the body he would hurt or kill someone and I might end up in jail (although he's also convinced that he could get away with it). I think some of us work together to keep him away from the front though, because I think most of us realize the consequences of letting him take control. I don't know, whatever's going on it seems to be pretty effective at keeping him under control, so I guess I just keep rolling with it. Anyways, I'm rambling again, good luck with TK and hope you find something that works.

Well, Friday night, I let Zack give TK free reign for about 30 minutes, and he... did nothing. I even gave him a knife and stood behind my dad, shaking, saying "Do it, TK". And he didn't. However, he did cut me a couple of times, and starting licking it like crazy. No, my dad had no idea this happened. None, whatsoever.

I think I've broken his spirit, y'know? He hasn't tried killing things, hes barely made any threats, and last night I went to an after party for this play I was hired to film, and he starts cutting my left wrist to prove the silverware isn't sharp enough. It doesn't hurt, but theres a giant streak there now, something I'd rather not turn into a scar. Its this random pattern of his thats confusing: Maybe he's just a blood junkie. Then I just get the pigs blood, good, thats fine, I can live with that. But what if he's hiding his murder persona? What then?

Thank you to everyone, you've all been very helpful so far.

Wow all I have to say is antagonizing an alter who wants to kill to actually do it is a very stupid thing to do, even if he didn't take the opportunity. If he is really homicidal you should NEVER EVER allow him to be out and attempt to see what he is capable of. If he can control himself and you're able to work on him being out with control over him, fine do that, but don't put anyone at risk by picking on him to do his deeds just to see what the f*ck he can do. I feel sorry for TK, and your dad.

You need to be careful with TK if you know what's good for everyone in your system.

It wasn't exactly his fault, though, it was kind of a "Trust test"-ish sort of thing. I have wanted to let up on him for a while now, because he does deserve a bit more freedom, so we wanted to see if he would stab him or not. He didn't. Good TK, right? And our dad was never in any real danger, we would have stopped him should he have made a move. We didn't antagonize him, but at the same time, I can see where your coming from, and yeah, it was incredibly stupid. But it was really the only way we could really prove he was worthy of more freedom at the time. But, in retrospect, in was really the stupidest ######6 thing we have ever done for TK, ever.

At least you all see that it was a bad idea. In a way, I can understand the "trust exercise" but I think if you had a legitimate fear of him harming someone you all should treat it as a serious threat, not test it. What if you all couldn't control him if he acted on his urge? There should be a back-up plan if you ever decide to try that again, because a life was a risk.

Jack needed to be contained a bit until he learned to control his urges. He isn't homicidal (many years ago he was though) but he is a very dangerous threat when he is violent. He slammed her mother's head in a door, choked people, spit in people's faces, and cut people with our nails just to name a few. If we didn't work on an agreement he would lash out like that every day because he is front so often! I wouldn't trust him like that around anyone we know to see if he would do anything or not, because he IS a danger to others like that and we're responsible if he hurts anyone, not him.

Try asking where this homicidal rage comes from, what starts this behavior for him and what is he thinking right before he wants to do those things? Make an agreement to have his needs met to an extent and try to eventually get to the bottom of why he craves this bloodshed.

We've known the source since the very beginning; a doctrine he follows known as "Animalism", which webster defines as:

an·i·mal·ism (n-m-lzm)
n.
1. Enjoyment of vigorous health and physical drives.
2. Indifference to all but the physical appetites.
3. The doctrine that humans are merely animals with no spiritual nature.

Its these three definitions that have become a basic rulebook for him. And animals kill eachother with no remorse all the time, and they have sex wherever, whenever, and they eat how they want to, and they blah blah blah. You get the idea. Thats the source, no doubt in my mind. He is an animalist, and will be till we all die (Probably because he'll get us killed. Idiot).

EDIT:
An agreement has been made already: He doesn't kill people. Thats it. All other agreements are broken, and when we lock him up, we end up with a crazy guy who thinks he's supposed to be "One with nature" screaming constantly if he doesn't get his fix. Kind of like an alcholic, I guess.

Zack's system works: He keeps an eye on TK, and thats it. TK doesn't do a thing if Zack is on him. The point of all this was to give him more freedoms, kinda ween him off blood, very slowly. Its medically unsafe to go cold turkey, and I'd rather not have Charlie Sheen begging for his tigers blood all day and night.

Well I guess if a common ground has been met then keep that up as long as possible. There are many alternatives to blood if it's craved and as long as you're all safe, the alternative may not be the exact same but it's a good compromise.