Has this happened to anyone before?

I dont know if Norma is really trying to help me. Lately she has been making my life worse. I think. I mean cuz I don't know what she's been having to deal with when she's been out. Norma has been taking over more but its not the normal way. She's been taking over without me knowing and for longer time. But what I mean by I dont know if she's trying to help me is cuz when Im out, its like Norma dont even want to talk to me. SO many of my things are missing or moved and my mom is acting all wierd around me. I try to ask Norma what all happened while I was gone and she wont answer me. But she'll say other things to me like when she's mad and stuff. Has this happened to anyone before? Its emberassing to write this because I should know whats going on with us but this never happened before liike this. How can I find out what Normas been doing without getting people mad or even sounding stupid? I missed you all and Im glad to be back.

Chris

This has happened a lot to us, and probably to most people in this forum. Fortunately we don't live with my parents, but we do live 2 miles away (which is two miles too close ) and sometimes I'll go over there and they will be PISSED with me and I have no idea WTF "I" did. It's really awkward. My mom knows about the D.I.D. but I'm not sure if she's ever told my dad. So it's easier with her because 40% of the time she's realized that whatever happened, it wasn't me. My dad just needs to be left alone until he's over himself.

Sometimes people in my system pull that $#%^ as a way to make me feel like I've got no control, or to make me feel intimidated and scared. Other times they truly do think they're helping me somehow. I think Norma probably thinks she's helping you and won't talk to you about it because either she thinks that will make things worse or that you will undo all of her "work" at trying to help you.

If she ever PMs me again I'll try to figure out what she's up to. I don't give away information given to me in confidence, but I'll try to see if she'll at least let me tell you why.

-Mikaela

I dont like this. Thats good your mom knows about your DID and that she believes you. I bet that makes things easier. Will your dad get mad if you or one of your insiders told him?

I dont like not knowing what she does. It wouldnt be that big of deal if she was the main but she's not! I have to deal with peoples actions to what Norma does when she leaves. I feel like we seperating. Like shes not talking to me as much as she used to at all. Its like I feel she not working with me. but I don't think she's working against me either. Do you know what I mean?

Thanks for asking her if she PMs you. And I should be able to know what shes doing even if she dont give you permission to tell me cuz I am older then she is and I have the right to know. But I understand what you saying.

Chris

I think Norma's just too overwhelmed. She's upset by so many things and doesn't know how to handle any of it, so it makes her mad. And I think more mad than usual, because nothing she does works to calm herself down. I really do think she's trying to help you. It's like she's trying to fix things for you, but doesn't know how, so she just tries to protect you from everything, which ends up looking controlling and stuff

I don't want her to be overwelmed. I dont want her to feel like she has to fix me. Thats not her job. I feel like Im losing her. Its almost like shes becoming the main. Maybe she getting madder than usual cuz she is trying to do everything by herself. Everytime Norma takes over, when I come back, I have no people left on my phone. She deletes every one. I dont think this is healthy. What should I do?

Chris

I know, it's not her job. She's taking too much responsibility on herself. Yeah, that's probably it. Every bad thing that happens now, she tries to fix it for you. Which of course she won't be able to fix everything

Yeah, I know. I think she deleted me from your email list Maybe you should keep a list of people's numbers somewhere she can't find, so she can't completely get rid of them when she's mad.

Think she feels safe enough with the new counselor, yet? Maybe you can tell the counselor a little tiny bit of what's going on (not so much that you break Norma's confidence in you, but enough so the counselor knows what's going on). Maybe she can explain to Norma that she can't do everything on her own. I know it was only one visit, but that's my best guess. *shrugs*

It sucks because Norma really is trying to help

Im not supposed to go through life with no problems. oh yeah, keeping a seperate list hidden is a good idea. Thanks for that one. Im guessing she feels safe with the new counsler cuz she been out. I dont remember leaving there or anything. Im not sure. I will talk with the counsler Wendsday. We go every wendsday now.

Yeah, no problems is impossible. Okay, hopefully she can talk to her, then

You wanna know ONE thing that pisses me off so bad?!?!! WHEN PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT TALK BEHIND MY BACK!!!! My T says I supposed to work on my anger but how I suposed to when every where I turn people are getting me mad..including Chris!!! Chris how you say you dont know if Im trying to help you!! FUK YOU!!! If you cant see that by now then SCREW YOU! You dont know how freakin HARD im TRYING to be better!!!!!!! This is the end of it!!!!! I can't take all this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Norma

Norma, it's on the forum... how behind your back can that be? You read it, didn't you? And Christina knows you try to help her, she was just confused about what was going on.