Post from Alter

YOU LIED TO ME! U PROMISED I WOULDNT HAVE NITEMARE NORMA...I HATE U...WHAT IS WRONG WITH U IM TRYIN TO BE UR FREAKIN FRIEND

Woah, calm down. It's possible that she didn't mean to send you nightmares. When one alter has a dream sometimes I get them too but it doesn't mean she did it on purpose.

Norma, care to weigh in?

I am getting really sick and tired of being accused of every bad thing that happens in your sorry life! Maybe you should just stop and think about my life for a change...I am hurting and you don't even care! You can run but you can't hide! Don't use my hurts as a reason to leave me...you can't go anywhere! You are stuck with me. Listen we were doing good tonight we made progress...but im warning you if you don't stop blaming me for $#%^ and see that I need to share my hurts with somebody, then Im gonna make your life a living hell. I am being nice to you and you dont even know it. Stop being a selfish friend and look at me and you and just think how much anger i have towards you...im good at not lashing out on you like I want to. Im trying just like you are. Please stop with all this drama and accept me...I will continue to protect you. Im not a bad person.

Norma

you just THREATENED me and your trying to say you'll PROTECT me! I can't believe you!! You told me you would keep the nightmares away! You said you were giving them to me because I wouldn't listen. You even told me to go to bed tonight that you would not give me nightmares but you didn't!

Listen im sorry for growing up without you okay! I already said I was sorry so you just need to GET OVER IT! I want to be friends with you cuz I wanna have peace...How do u expect me to keep being my friend if ur gonna treat me like this. Im about to lock you up!!

OK BOTH OF YOU QUIT ALREADY!!! FOR THE LOVE OF F==KIN MARY!!!!!


Look. Alters are also their own people, as you are yours. I could very easily knock Mara out for the best part of a decade with the memories I hold, but that wouldn't benefit anyone. Like it or not, you're part of a system & you have to live with it. Mara has nightmares, as do several of the children of our system. Doesn't mean they're given by any of the others.

You need to trust each other - which you clearly don't. that's understandable as you don't know each other well yet, but it's kinda tough sh*t to be honest. You have to live together so you have to trust each other.

So...

I dunno your name but Core Person: you just went ape at her for threatening you, then you tell her you're about to lock her up?! How does that make sense. It is possible for you to have your own nightmares which havent been given to you. Trust her. Instead of screaming at her for giving them to you, ask her whether she did. Maybe she did accidentally. We have a little who accidentally projects her emotions/feelings etc on to others without realising. It happens. you need to build communication.

Norma: As easy as it is to take offence & blow up (& believe me, I have severe anger), try to talk to her. Remember she's still getting used to acknowledging you. It's $#%^, trust me I've been there. You've definitely started in the right way by saying you're there to protect her, but rather than threaten her, try to answer the question that should've been asked. E.g "you gave me nightmares & you said you wouldn't." "please calm down, i didn't/didn't mean to etc... Just try & keep the peace. What you've both been through is neither of your fault so start working together & quit with the fighting.

-Sabrina

okay...

this is the only place I can vent and get a third party because nobody around me understands what Im saying and doesn't even attempt to know Norma. they think im crazy and and just tell me I need help. So im sorry for having so much to let out.

I am learning how to handle Norma. this is hard because we both so angry but we trying to reach out to each other. i see what you are saying by asking instead of assuming that she gives me the bad dreams. I am going to do that when she makes me mad cuz then we might actually be able to stop fighting.

Norma is mad and does not choose to reply to post

confused14 wrote:So im sorry for having so much to let out.

Don't apologize for having to vent, or needing help

Good job, for trying

Before you have her accept you, you have to show you're going to do something other than torment her with images of something she obviously cannot deal with. Can you find another way to deal with your pain? A hobby or interest? Painting, reading, hiking. If you urge her to do these things in exchange for not terrifying her, she may warm up to you.

we have already come a long way and are working together.

-Norma and Christina