one alter's inappropriate behavior *TRIGGERING*

you say i should be supportive of the system? where was any support for me whn i was having rods stuck up my ass and then electricuted!! and that is just the mild stuff that happened. the "system" abandoned me tied to the bed posts!! $#%^ ya i have a ######6 lot of anger towrds the system! i don't think i need to do anything for them, especially the "self," kim. she has been gone since friday afternoon when she found out about being tied to the bed posts and was elecrticuted up her ass.

and now richard is in charge since he is the manager, that's just a joke! the system is falling apart now...


andrew the bad

Please excuse the tactfullness of our wonderful, Andrew, Yes, kim, the "self," has gone into hiding somewhere inside. She found out some very disturbing things from childhood she had never known about. One was a drawing another part had done, and then I blurted out something in a very uncompassionate fit of anger (which I know was wrong), But it happenend...we are not perfect. It has been since Friday afternoon. She just said, "oh my god!" and not another word since.

This happened before about seven years ago, she was gone for three weeks and just came back on her own one day with no excuse to any of us who were here taking care of things. As of yet, nothing has ever been spoken about it.

Any thoughts on how to encourage the "self" to come back? Until she does come back, I, Richard am in charge since I am a manager/moderator inside.

Could use some help...

Richard

Have you tried sending a search party to find where in the system she's hiding? If you can do that, you can try convincing her to come back, promising that she's safe now.

Andrew, I am really sorry to hear how much trouble you've had. No wonder you're so pissed off! You have EVERY right to be, but fighting everyone off and trying to stand on your own when you're really hurting isn't going to work. It takes a real man to swallow his pride and ask for help when he's hurt. You are more than welcome to express yourself and vent out here, Andrew, and talk to any of us if you want.

I used to hide away (and still do sometimes) when the stress gets really really bad.
I never hide away for a whole day though (I think?) ..
Sometimes it's just easier to let the others take over while I'm terrified of living my own life.
It sure makes everything else harder on everyone else though.
I try my hardest to stay out as much as I can now, and when I can't, I share up front with someone else
or they take over for a little bit of time to have some fun and help rest our body.

Even if you think she can't hear you, say out loud, think in your head, or write down on paper (sometimes I can only
see or hear) that she's safe and you're there for her. You need her help and you understand if she's having a really rough
time but you're all going to get through it together. Tell her everything will be alright.
I know that when I'm in a lot of stress my kids will usually actually defend my disappearing like this (most of them,
some of them criticize me) but if asked nicely whoever is keeping me from coming out will step aside and let me surface for a bit. Sometimes they need convincing my world won't end and I won't die from having to experience this pain and stress. Sometimes someone helps keep me asleep. Everyone needs to know and feel safe.

Andrew, I'm really sorry to hear that you took all that pain for the system. Could it be that maybe you were the only
one who was strong enough to do it? Someone had to take it, and you deserve a lot of appreciation for the role you
ended up playing. I do have a few very very angry kids left in my system. They used to direct their hatred
at me for not saving them and making them go through what they did. They now direct it at my abusers.
But it's never the fault of the child who is abused and there wasn't anything we could do to stop it.
It was the people who abused them, 100%. I never thought I would actually have all these wonderful parts of myself split
off and save me from my mind breaking. They deserve so much respect, and so do you, Andrew.
Yes, you are allowed to be angry. You have every right to be angry for what happened to you.
The world can be extremely unfair and horrid. But you are not allowed to hurt anyone.
If you need a safe place to vent, these forums are welcome to you.

Mr. Bates, yes we have searched for her, but there are lots of places for her to be hidden. We have called for her as well. I, Richard, usually can feel her presence and right now I am not able to feel that. I had seen this documentary on a client with DID and the host body just vanished one day and many years later had yet to return. Someone from the system had taken over for her and were going on with life without her. Can "selfs" or "hosts" disappear and go dorment like parts do? I talked to our therapist who is very well versed in DID, said that, yes, this can happen, but is very rare. She has been missing since last Friday.

We slid a note under her door just telling her she was okay that she was in the therapist's office, nothing is going to happen, yada yadayada stuff like that, but no answer. I suspect she is not in there.

The others in here are getting recless. Andrew is trying to unlock Jon's door to let him out...he is in there for attacking the body while another part was out and is very dangerous. In essence, attacking the other part. Subsequintly we had to go to the hospital. It's not easy to explaining injuries about ourselves at the hospital. If Jon gets out again, he has already said he would go after that same part. So it is very important that Jon remain behind the bars.

I'm trying to keep it all together, there are two helpful parts helping me to try and find Kim as well as their own jobs in the system, so that is nice. And the therapist is of course very helpful.


Any advise out there?


Richard

You're in a very tough situation. And Andrew needs a time out or something. I understand he needs his voice heard and all that politically correct #######4, but right now he's seriously NOT helping the situation. At all.

The only advice I can give at this time is to keep searching, and keep Andrew away from Jon. Maybe ask if the therapist can help in some way to find Kim. Hypnotherapy maybe? Very dangerous, but has the potential to work. Personally, that should be a last resort method, please bare that part in mind.

Be careful, Richard, and good luck.

Hi, folks.
It's been a week and no sign of Kim. Now her ex-husband, who I might add is very respectful to me and the system will not allow any of us over to see the kids unless it is Kim that is present. That's going to hurt when she does com back. But I have to inturn respect him as well.

Andrew is still hanging around Jon's door, but hasn't been picking at the locks, there are seven deadbolts, I think it would take him forever anyway. But then, he did escape from the castle. The littles are all okay, just a bit sad and mayby angry, but MJ is taking good care of them.

We're all just trying to get Kim back to reality, and it's very hard.


Richard

Hi, this is Kim, I'm back. They say I was gone seven days. I don't remember anything of what went one, I was trapped inside my mind somewhere. Richard was on the phone with our therapist and they started doing this counting thing a few times and all of a sudden I felt pushed, and there I was on the phone and Richard in the back. Richard is completely eghausted from being out so long, he is taking a break, but thanks you all who posted ideas for him.

The system is still struggling, but we will work through the new memories accordingly with our wonderful therapist. Richard was really struggling lastnight with ending everything and our therapist was on the phone with him late into the night just talking and assuring we would get through all of this. He has able to do a safety pinkie promise to call back if things got worse. She then called us twice today to check on everyone. She is so great. If we could only get Andrew, Cherry and Jon...who are all very angry parts to actually talk with her, then that would be great.

Have a good night, all.


Kim and the circle of friends

Welcome back Kim! Hope you're here to stay!

Thank you, Mr. Bates, it's nice to be welcomed! I'm sure our system will continue to post their issues. Since they are never ending!


Kim