I'm Seeing a New Therapist

Thursday, I saw a new therapist, and the change has made a difference. My previous therapist only addressed my anxiety symptoms by breathing exercises I saw as a drag. I trudged through because I didn't want to be medicated to ride through traffic.

The new therapist went to work on the cause, not the symptom, right out of the gate. There was no meet and greet, no breaking of the ice, she hit the ground running, and she came prepared.

One of many things she said that interested me is that my gender identity disorder, disassociation, and anxiety are all related.

During the session, she wrote down some questions, and at the end, she handed me the piece of paper and asked me to answer them between then and the next time I see her.

I spent more than half of my weekend working on them. The following are my therapist's questions and my answers.

1. What is the meaning of life?

Yehovah wanted people who could exercise free will, the free choice to choose Him or not. Though He wants people to choose Him, He would not override their choice as that would defeat the purpose of having free will.

Also, Yehovah wanted these people to have companionship, hence why he created Adam and Eve, not just Adam.

The above addresses why we're here. If your question concerns my purpose, it's to get to Heaven, having done everything I know and can do in this life (learn and apply the Bible to the best of my understanding and do what Moses and Jesus have taught us to do). My top priority is to get to Heaven. The second is to get to Heaven as the female child I've always wanted to be.

2. Was I born for a reason?

Yes, but it's still speculative as to what that reason is. My hypothesis is I need to be here as the Book of Revelation is being fulfilled, a time when people will need each other, their skills, knowledge, and the practical application thereof more than ever.

We also need each other now, such as giving a person a ride or bottled water to a homeless person. Though it's not in the Bible, I believe in karma, "What goes around, comes around."

3. What is my purpose in life?

If by "purpose," you mean "motivation," I need to do everything I can think of to be ready for when the Book of Revelation is being fulfilled. If there're any gaps, I need to fill them, both for my sake and be in a position where I can work with my fellow community members.

4. What do I stand for?

If I understand this question, people need to help and be there for each other in whatever capacity they can. If this question means what do I believe, I believe the Law of Moses and the rest of what we call the Old Testament is for everyone who professes to follow Christ. I also believe in challenging gender stereotypes.

5. What would I be willing to die for?

Myself. If it came down to denying Jesus or dying, I would choose martyrdom. It won't be out of piety nor for His sake. I would do it out of a self-serving motivation. Temporary discomfort is nothing compared to eternal pain. I will do anything to stay out of the lake of fire.

6. Discuss or examine your values, morals, and ethics.

Family is important, don't traumatize children, don't be hypocritical, and follow the teachings of Moses and Jesus to the best of my understanding.

i'm glad to hear so far you think this therapist is more prepared. i hope it works out for you.

WOW she DID hit the target with no bullshirting around. O_O I'm glad it makes you feel progress!

The questons she asked are interesting, it would be a good idea for us to answer them too, for ourselves or here on the forums, because they are important questions to answer from time to time. I am impressed at how dedicated you are to your religious beliefs! I hope they bring you joy and comfort and safety.

As for the link between dissociation, anxiety and gender dysphoria: we feel it so much! (but the other way around since we are transmasc) Lust (hyper fem and seductive cis woman) used to be anxious about hyper-performing feminity in a stereotypical way, just to "pass" and try to avoid the gender dysphoria as well as try to avoid transphobia and other interaction issues. While almost all of the rest of the system is more of a transmasc/emby/soft cismasc vibe. Which caused a LOT of dissociating from the body and anxiety due being pulled into one direction by our gender identity, and pulled into another by our body as well as social expectations. The moment we woke up from the torsoplasty at the hospital, Lust was radiant, serene, turning into a femboy, and later on she dissipated, reintegrating other alters (mostly the Mirror who shares with her functions as inner self-helper). Since then we experience way less dissociative issues, less switches, more integration, less anxiety, and the other trauma triggers are way more manageable.

I wish you to experience this gender euphoria too!
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(We are kinda rapid switching right now trying to convey all our euphoria.)