Finding therapist, what to look for? Red flags?

Hello, I'm running into what seems like hella red flags with therapists. I've been looking on psychology today for a specialist to help me & my husband with my multiplicity, dissociation & switching, host change last year
Some Amnesiac barriers & 17 system members identified
Depersonalization & body dysmorphia
Anxiety/social phobia/panic attacks
Constant triggers & Flashbacks
Paranoia
Self harm & suicidal ideation
Crying spells
Perfectionism, ocd tendencies

I've had years in therapy being treated for the wrong things like bipolar & would like to find a specialist .. but I have alot of distrust with mental health professionals

The last consultation my husband & I had felt like we were speaking to a total con artist. Blurring professional lines saying he'd come to my house & even help me with my daughter(given example was changing her) which was triggering, he disclosed his own personal traumas without warning & triggered me by mentioning the same abuse at the same age I experienced, he said he'd love to put people who were mean to him away in a psych ward, 'some day I'll need you too' covering with Christian ethics of helping everyone 'otherwise you're an asshole' he said he wanted to after 5 years publish our therpy work to spread awareness on the subject ... I am not about that & to boot the guy doesn't have his license for psychology anymore, he's now just a hypnotist wanting me to bend the truth to my insurance for a referral to him.. this is too of the iceberg from one hour & a half consultation phone call(was supposed to be 15 min)
I am declining the help from this 'practicing professional'
I need help.. but I need to find a good therapist & am beyond paranoid already. Any resources? Methods anyone's used to weed out the risky types? Anything to pay special attention to? I don't want to get messed up worse, I've had it happen & can't again. Thankyou.

A good trauma and dissociation therapist will respect your boundaries. They will also discuss a treatment plan following the ISSTD guidelines https://www.isst-d.org/wp-content/uploa ... ED2011.pdf

In the meantime, you can start some work on your own with the help of the book "Coping with trauma-related dissociation" - which can later be used with a more proper therapist since it is the first purpose of the book.

Good luck.
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David.

I've been through a lot of therapists. Some more qualified than others. More qualifications does not necessarily= better. What I have found is that by the end of the first session, I usually have a gut feeling that either yes, I think I could work with this person, or no I can't. I think I've only had one where it took me a little longer than usual on the yes/no, but I stuck with him for 9 years in the end. I'm not sure whether good therapists are just hard to find, or whether I just found every dodgy one in my town before I found a good one.

I would say to trust your gut feeling if it says "no" to a therapist. The gut feeling saying no to a therapist for me has been people who have blurred professional lines, one who was too insistent on absolute forgiveness, ones who were too insistent that I divulge information about trauma in detail before I was ready/felt safe, those whose personalities felt kind of abrasive, one who divulged confidential information to my family. Some had even somewhat laughed off a particular trauma. I often couldn't understand at the time that those things were wrong, but they didn't feel comfortable or right/ok, and it was the not feeling quite comfortable that made me think that they're maybe not the right person for me. To begin with I would try and persevere with the unsuitable ones, thinking the problem must just be me, but found it really draining and eventually realised going around in circles every session was pointless and a waste of money.

Would ask any other professionals you deal with- doctors, psychiatrists, or anyone else involved in your regular care for recommendations of who they think would be appropriate for you to see. I've looked up names before and asked- and I've sometimes got "John would be a good person for you to see, but I don't think Sally is the appropriate person for you to work with." It was only once I found a good therapist I understood how many boundaries had been crossed by other therapists- that was a bit scary.

I really hope you can find someone suitable to work with. Disheartening as it can be, don't give up on your search.

Hugs if you'd like some.