Work, switching, limited energy

Lately, I've been wondering how people are able to work AND have energy for other things. I only work part-time, which is good because I can spend about 4 hours doing productive things each day. Then I need a break of around 4+ hours before I can do things again.

Worst part is, it leaves me (as a part) stuck at front. It means that there is very limited access to feelings, needs, etc. Has anyone ever dealt with that? Found a solution? It seems to break down possible communication, mostly because the job *needs* me to be really stable/not easily triggered. That works, I just wish I could open things up again after work.

I think I should probably go see a Dr about the limited energy, maybe a physical cause can be found. (Bloodtests show some slight issues, but they said that it's not enough to explain my complaints).
Does anyone know of resources about living with limited energy? Or maybe you have dealt with it and have tips for me?

I think thats why our alters Thea and Maddie were 'stuck out front' for years, because other than living at home when we worked we were away at residential college and then university later so of course other students lived in the same space, who could come in your room anytime and if you weren't there you were in lectures surrounded by others.

Kit got stuck out front when we had to be in unit for 9 months too again because of other staff/residents always been around, then Maddie with hospital (when we woke up unable to walk) and care visits etc.

It was only when we became isolated when we could no longer work and got moved to an accessible property that was miles from town and weren't seeing people for at least a month at a time that 'others' started to come out more often.

Since lockdowns started in particular when all social expectations were relieved due to shielding the littles have been coming out alot more often, people 'taking shifts' so everyone gets to take the dog out for a bit of fresh air and change of scenary. (some previously only ever came out when we were alone in a locked bedroom so they felt safe no-one could just walk in).

The body finds constant switching exhausting so we now do a rota eg we a couple of deliveries today and the gardener here so I'm out (Jody) cos I deal with social interactions with external people.
I'll deal with that, then go rest. If littles want to come out to play they will come up front just before we 'get up' again, if Kit wants to come out to study or exercise she will do it after that rest break or wait until tomorrow and do the whole day tomorrow, so she can also do the early morning run with the dog.

Could you take opportunity to work from home if there's another lockdown? Shield, or tell work you have covid symptoms so you can get a break for a week or so? (to let others come out for a bit)

Jody

Edited to add; could it be something like the beginning of peri-menopause or under active thyroid? ..cos we've developed chronic fatigue since onset of menopausal symptoms.

yeah i agree, it is really hard.

According to what we read in "The haunted self" it has something to do with (among other things) being dissociative.

Of course, people who atop of being dissociative, have other disabilities, have even more issues with energy.

Each and every alter has their own abilities, including in energy level and efficiency in using the mental energy. Unless all alters are integrated (= connected) together, the system cannot use the full potential of the brain.

Depending on the alter in front, the mental energy and efficiency can vary greatly and will never be as high as the energy that able-minded and able-bodied people can have.

Moreover, autistic people often see an increase of fatigue starting circa thirty years old, with an increase of sensory sensibility to overload. They also burn out more easily, too.

All of this together leads to limited energy and abilities when you are dissociative - and the phenomoenon increases if you also are neuroDivergent.

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David.

We experienced the fatigue, yes. Our solution was to quit our job and go on long-term disability. We've been disabled for three years now and it has been the best thing for us. This may not be the solution for you, however. Just saying, it's what we had to do.

- Marcella

Thank you all for the comments and sharing some of your experiences. It helps to feel less alone.
I will be seeing a Dr about the fatigue some time soon. Who knows, it would be great if there is something they can do. (I'm not counting on it).

AbreMonde, do you remember what The Haunted Self said about it? My therapist also keeps bringing back attention to integration and gaining access to the "full potential" for energy. It's definitely something we're working on, albeit very slowly.

We also have some autistic traits (undiagnosed) and I'm quite sure that ties into some the tiredness as well.

I really hope we can avoid disability, but it's definitely good that it exists and can be an option.

My T recommended to yield energy from fight/flight responses, like how people use anger or anxiety to motivate them. Sounds pretty exhausting, but she clarified that she meant not actually going into fight/flight - just somehow using a portion of energy like that.

She also said that she thought that I'm probably very efficient in the time that I *do* have energy and that there is a possibility I'm burning off more energy by being so focused/efficient.

fireheart wrote:Thank you all for the comments and sharing some of your experiences. It helps to feel less alone.
I will be seeing a Dr about the fatigue some time soon. Who knows, it would be great if there is something they can do. (I'm not counting on it).

AbreMonde, do you remember what The Haunted Self said about it? My therapist also keeps bringing back attention to integration and gaining access to the "full potential" for energy. It's definitely something we're working on, albeit very slowly.

We also have some autistic traits (undiagnosed) and I'm quite sure that ties into some the tiredness as well.

I really hope we can avoid disability, but it's definitely good that it exists and can be an option.

My T recommended to yield energy from fight/flight responses, like how people use anger or anxiety to motivate them. Sounds pretty exhausting, but she clarified that she meant not actually going into fight/flight - just somehow using a portion of energy like that.

She also said that she thought that I'm probably very efficient in the time that I *do* have energy and that there is a possibility I'm burning off more energy by being so focused/efficient.

fireheart wrote:Thank you all for the comments and sharing some of your experiences. It helps to feel less alone.
I will be seeing a Dr about the fatigue some time soon. Who knows, it would be great if there is something they can do. (I'm not counting on it).

AbreMonde, do you remember what The Haunted Self said about it? My therapist also keeps bringing back attention to integration and gaining access to the "full potential" for energy. It's definitely something we're working on, albeit very slowly.

We also have some autistic traits (undiagnosed) and I'm quite sure that ties into some the tiredness as well.

I really hope we can avoid disability, but it's definitely good that it exists and can be an option.

My T recommended to yield energy from fight/flight responses, like how people use anger or anxiety to motivate them. Sounds pretty exhausting, but she clarified that she meant not actually going into fight/flight - just somehow using a portion of energy like that.

She also said that she thought that I'm probably very efficient in the time that I *do* have energy and that there is a possibility I'm burning off more energy by being so focused/efficient.

Do you have 'littles' in your system? If so, you know that energy and excitement they can bring to a situation eg a 6 yr old been excited to play a game or see the ducks, can you use 'that kind of energy' to help?

The reason I mention it is one of our last hosts 'Maddie' had depression bad and had no knowledge of the rest of us tried to function as a single.

Once we all knew about each other and the 'littles' were actively coming out to play it really gives the mind a boost mentally and we recovered from the depression.

Kit can also activate that kind of 'fight/flight energy when she gets 'locked in fantasy' as the body responds as if its really going through/doing what she's imagining. Maybe that's why we're going grey!!!

Jody

fireheart wrote:AbreMonde, do you remember what The Haunted Self said about it? My therapist also keeps bringing back attention to integration and gaining access to the "full potential" for energy. It's definitely something we're working on, albeit very slowly.

We also have some autistic traits (undiagnosed) and I'm quite sure that ties into some the tiredness as well.

Oh my gosh... The autistic sensory overload and autistic burnout are soooo exhaustiiiiing!!!

If I recall properly what the Haunted Self says about integration and stuff, it basically means, connecting the dots. But it also means, being able to function better because you have enough energy and dots connected for that.

When you are dissociated, you are less able to regulate how you use your energy. You tend to be stuck in the survival modes (fight flight freeze fawn) and put all your energy in them which means your have less energy to do more "complicated" stuff like, social situations, putting yourself in somebody else's shoes, understand how "here and now" is different from "there and then", etc. Doing the dishes, when you are stuck in a "freeze" reaction (for example) is almost impossible.

When you are more integrated, your survival modes are more regulated. You are able to realize that "here and now" is different from "there and then". You realize that, doing the dishes right here and now, is very different from the past situation when you needed to freeze instead of doing the dishes because, abuse. You can turn off the freeze response because here and now, is safe. You can better connect the "freeze alter" to the "doing the dishes alter" so they can communicate together. The "doing the dishes alter" can communicate that "here and now is safe" and the "freeze alter" can answer "okay, got it, standing by in case you need me, but i give you back the control of the body".

It is more than being able to talk in the Innerworld. It really is like a direct, telepathic, heart-to-heart connexion. It is much more flexible, much less exhausting. Each alter remains a different person. But how the alters work together is a bit like... at the end of the "Vice versa" movie. Or when the Power Rangers pilot the Megazord together. Nobody over-reacts because every body is aware of what is happening here and now, and what things need to be done here and now. Everybody works in a perfectly, coordinated way.

The "Vice versa" movie is really great to show how you can go from "dissociated and having inner conflicts" to "integrated (=connected) and functionning smoothly like a perfectly trained team".

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Urielles and David.

fireheart wrote:Lately, I've been wondering how people are able to work AND have energy for other things. I only work part-time, which is good because I can spend about 4 hours doing productive things each day. Then I need a break of around 4+ hours before I can do things again.

Worst part is, it leaves me (as a part) stuck at front. It means that there is very limited access to feelings, needs, etc. Has anyone ever dealt with that? Found a solution?

Ideally, after the 4 hours of work, you would allow other parts to front so they could get their needs met. (Or some kind of co-conscious combination that still allows for that kind of self-care.) I'm not sure why you're stuck at front after work--does it have to be that way?

Or perhaps there's a different way of looking at this--that those 4 hours of not doing anything is what everyone needs after all the energy it takes to have you in front for those 4 hours of work?

Or that you come home from work wanting/expecting that the next thing you do is some kind of chore or task, where if the plan was always to do something fun and relaxing after work (something the littles want to do, for example), you may find that you do have the energy for it. Kind of like what Jody said about harnessing the energy of the littles.

And if you frame the work time as something that has to be done so that you have money for things that they like, and that as soon as you get finished you can do x, y, or z fun thing, you might find that you suddenly have a lot more energy than you thought.

Or if your body just feels too tired right after work, then you can tell them that after a snack and an hour of resting, you can do the fun thing(s)--that can be a compromise.

We work part-time also, in a very stressful profession, and we've found that when we're careful to take care of everyone, we're able to be more active and energetic because no one is pulling the rest of us down because they have pressing needs that are going unmet.

Good idea, Jody. Seeing my T this week and writing on here + having a bit less hours this week seems to have made it possible to connect more with the littles yesterday.

Urielles and David, the main reason that I think it could be (similar to) austistic sensory overload is that I've had this tiredness as long as I can remember. It was the same in primary school as it is now. It was at its worst in high school.
I have a lot of sensory sensitivities and social input quickly becomes too much.
The strategies I use to deal with it seem to be used often with autism; noise-cancelling headphones, weighted blanket, turning off the lights, avoiding busy environments, avoiding meeting up in groups.
The best "cure" for my tiredness has always been: low sensory input and if possible: sleep.

Work does indeed get way more overwhelming when we're actually triggered and actively trying to keep up barriers so we can still do a good job.
You know, I think we're well on our way to integration. There is very very little amnesia these days and most parts have an appreciation for the other parts. Almost no fighting. I've mainly been working with the teenagers and they seem to be developing a broader range of (stress) responses, are starting to really feel more safe. We're touching upon some trauma as well, but like I said, that's when it gets *really* challenging to keep up work.

TheGangsAllHere, yes exactly, that would be ideal. I like that perspective of how maybe it takes energy from everyone to keep me out there... thank you for that!

I try to manage doing fun things, but usually all I can really do is sleep. The issue is what you're saying; unmet needs, but by lack of connection it then becomes harder to do helpful things. It is also that I'm managing two jobs, and one degree that I'm getting. Sometime in my week, I really have to work on that degree. And since we're so tired, it gets complicated and another source of stress. Soon there will be a summer break, so hopefully I can manage to do more of the degree and catch up. I'm also involved in high-level sports and of course, therapy. The reality is that for each day I basically can only choose one "category" (sometimes it is household tasks) to do something for, because after it I will be drained. The fact that I'm able to juggle all these things is why my T thinks I'm probably more efficient than most people. I just make a priority list each morning and get the thing with the most priority done.