Crisis point.

What if it was all me all along?

Like I feel as though I'm fully in control of what happens and I feel as though I'm fully conscious all of the time but things happen to me.

Like I got fired from my job and I knew it was coming but I wasn't aware that I was doing anything wrong but obviously I must have been and I was so confused because if I wasn't doing anything wrong then how did I know it was going to happen?

And people treat me differently to the person that I am. Like some people are scared of me and it really upsets me because I can't remember doing things to scare people. People treat me as if I've done or said things that I can't remember doing or saying and it confuses me.

Like I say i feel like I'm in control and I feel like i can remember everything that I do.

Does this kind of thing ring any bells with anyone hear. I think I'm going through a crisis today.

- Some DID people have amnesia about their amnesia. Meaning that, they have amnesia about some events, and are not aware to have said amnesia.

- This might be one explanation.

- I hope this situation gets eased up quickly. Being unaware that things are hidden from your own memory, can be uncomfortable.

- Good luck.

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X

I always think that I do remember what I do but because I'm a protector I just don't realise the harm I'm doing.

There's no thought for other people outside the system I just protect protect protect and then weeks, months or even maybe years later I'll have flashes of conscience about it but by then I've already destroyed everything. I do sort of remember it but it's hazy like a dream and in bits and pieces. People will tell me things that I'm pretty certain I've not done or said and I just don't believe them.

Thank you for your support.