Would you take a drug to get rid of DID?

Thinking about how Rive has very little knowledge and connection to her system I was thinking about this:

Do you think that at that point, when you didn't know alters and denied the DID and explained it all away in other ways that if you could of taken a medication designed to suppress alters and allow the front or host etc to live without the alters would you take it?

It's difficult to imagine that once knowing alters but I'm trying to think if I would of.

Also if that had of happened how do you think your life would be different? You would never know or remember trauma, you would have no time loss, no alters, basically no DID because this imaginary drug works to stop all of it. Would you take it? How would life be?

Sarandipity wrote:Thinking about how Rive has very little knowledge and connection to her system I was thinking about this:

Do you think that at that point, when you didn't know alters and denied the DID and explained it all away in other ways that if you could of taken a medication designed to suppress alters and allow the front or host etc to live without the alters would you take it?

It's difficult to imagine that once knowing alters but I'm trying to think if I would of.

Also if that had of happened how do you think your life would be different? You would never know or remember trauma, you would have no time loss, no alters, basically no DID because this imaginary drug works to stop all of it. Would you take it? How would life be?

yes I be asking all time for medicine that make things easier and not dissociate. i dos got some that make less dissociate alreadys cause trigger bes anxiety, PTSD things. gots something called benzo something it make me calm not nervous, not trigger so much. aint liking the feeling they give me buts they working. I aint dissociate half as much as before. I can focus better.

if something cans make the DID not be anymore I be very happy. I donts want to be DID I wants to be normal, not have dissociation no more.

If there was a drug that just *poof* did the trauma processing and integration for us we would probably take it. We don't like being how we are and we understand integration enough to not be afraid.
the thing is, we would never use a shortcut that doesn't solve the problem. what you suggest is just another way to avoid and we are not the person who would make it a concept for life to just avoid our problems and take pills to make them go away. if that was us, we would be addicted to something. You thought process is literally why so many people are drinking or addicted to other substances

Sarandipity wrote:Do you think that at that point, when you didn't know alters and denied the DID and explained it all away in other ways that if you could of taken a medication designed to suppress alters and allow the front or host etc to live without the alters would you take it?

It's difficult to imagine that once knowing alters but I'm trying to think if I would of.

Also if that had of happened how do you think your life would be different? You would never know or remember trauma, you would have no time loss, no alters, basically no DID because this imaginary drug works to stop all of it. Would you take it? How would life be?

But that WAS my life until I discovered them. I thought I had been a messed-up kid with a lot of problems--I didn't think I had been traumatized, I wasn't aware of any time loss, didn't know about parts, and took (and still take) medication for depression and anxiety that made life more bearable.

The host is not a complete person, so the restricted ability to feel and to be present would still be who I was. If the passive influence of parts wasn't there, then yes, there would be no unexplained sadness, but also no unexplained joy.

I agree with birdsong--if there were a shortcut to trauma processing and integration I would take that, but would I spend the rest of my life avoiding all the things I managed to avoid until now? No. Then I would die without having lived.

Hi, this is not a "thought process" it's an idea. When Paul found fragment memories of our abuse his next thought after he wrote them down was "we should be drunk, on drugs in a ditch somewhere" We should, it's awful.

There were other ideas after this. Other ideas on how could this disorder be made better if anything was possible but I don't know them.

What you're saying gang is exactly what I meant, would you have rather carried on as you were at the point when you didn't know. And you're saying you feel you didn't have a full life so, no.

It's really difficult for me to answer this at all because I had a secondary trauma at 18 that caused a breakdown and I was put on schitzophrenia medication till I was in my mid 20s so I didn't have any adult life where I was ever anywhere near normal. That's why I asked.

I had three years of psychotherapy when I was 27. I was frightened that too much talk of other selves would lead to more selves. I was frightened that psychotherapy can make false memory. It's over ten years since that therapy and other parts have come forward and memory has come on its own so I don't fear therapy anymore of causing alters and causing false memory.

I think I'd just like some way, any way, where I didn't have to face any of it. Which would probably be having to discover an alternate dimension where I was born to different parents who chose to not SA me but that's not happening.

I don't know if I'd take a pill where it took alters and took pain and took the memories before I became aware of them. I still don't know. I'm at a bad point of things right now where the abuse is too real, I want to hurt myself, all that stuff. It was a day dream question that I can't answer because I don't know any life without suffering of either abuse as a child, medication with horrible side effects, lived well in a multiple way for about ten years but knew I was multiple and worked at it. So I don't know living any other way but if you're saying that being DID free isn't living either then I don't know. Thanks anyway.

Hi new here I did or we did take alcohol … I say we because 4 of us tried to keep us alive...we did not know about DID....well the body survived...relationships and jobs, did not. born in 47 and learned about DID in 98 and quit drinking in 04.. still DID but still getting through life. use to belong to a forum but think it merged ( a DID forum merging ) with another. Thanks for your post.

No, we wouldn't, despite the temptation in birdsong's logic.

We have our identities. The collective is comprised of 47 individuals. If we took a pill and *poof* it worked, we wouldn't be who we are. We have no desire to fuse.

But that's us. Your Mileage May Vary (tm).

MDs

No- we wouldn't. Despite the troubles we may encounter, none of us really want to lose each other. A lot of us are very close. We don't ever want to lose each other. So no- we wouldn't take the drug.

Ponyta wrote:No- we wouldn't. Despite the troubles we may encounter, none of us really want to lose each other. A lot of us are very close. We don't ever want to lose each other. So no- we wouldn't take the drug.

See when I wrote this I was very much, or parts of me were very much, at a point of "this is doing us in" but what those parts forget is that because of the DID we can be alone but not lonely. There is a definite comoradary between the current fronting system that I don't think the old fronting system had so much of, not so much close bonds. I should change my signature really.

Would I? That's a hard question to answer. Part of me (pardon the term) would like to. Life was simpler, people didn't fear and hate me, and I wasn't so confused and lost about who I am as a person and in character... There are a lot of things just easier, even if confusing and not making sense, being "singular" believing... but the thing is, I wasn't ever "singular".

So I guess part of it depends on would this drug just HIDE it, like I'd lived most of my life, or actually somehow "remove" the rest.

Honestly, while that part of me longs for the ease and bliss of ignorance... it wasn't "better". I was incomplete and deep down, I think I always felt and knew it. Things I did, time gaps and odd incidents, confused and at times scared me. I had no idea what certain interest, actions, and motivations existed. One thing, particularly, was clothing- girls' clothing. I'm a guy, not gay, and not at ALL interested in cross-dressing... yet I'd find girls clothes (tights, skirts, dresses, swimsuits and underwear even) from time to time in my room or wearing them. It terrified me and I was horribly ashamed of this- I had NO memory of getting these things, ever. But I was doing it.

Going back to that "something is there but I don't know it/why" thing... I don't like that idea. Sure I seemed more "normal" on the surface- but that is only b/c of ignorance. I don't want to be scared, confused, and lost as to WHY these things happened anymore. I like KNOWING and being able to work on managing things, and getting to know the rest of "me", to feel more whole, even if fragmented.

If the drug would "remove" it entirely... would that really be better? Would it remove the parts of me that make me whole, the alters that are essential to who I am? Would it leave me hollow, incomplete, and lacking the fullness of who I should be? IDK that is better... even without the "it's there but unknown" actions and drives... IDK that being incomplete is better.

So while, I do desire that easier time in some ways... I think the good of knowing and being how I am, how we are, absolutely outweighs the bad of it- and that's saying a lot.