Ty (about loss)

Thanks Floralie.

When you said it's something outside that goes inside and is processed there can you then link it like this: "this happened outside so Lucas is grieving loss of religious community inside"

I could do that eventually with "the world has blown up" but I can't with the Ty thing yet.

I'm trying to remember what was happening in my life when he died or sex changed. I can't for sure remember if it was before or after the crisis - it was before. But his going away party/funeral happened after.

At that point (the funeral) I don't think it was me because I'm seeing it like I was looking at the body doing it from the side, someone was looking up gang related murders of people with that name and that age to try to work out if No-one had been talking to someone outside or if it was purely inside. His party / funeral was in an abandoned warehouse that the twins own and there was alot of people there, food, music and drag queen dancers, big screen TV or cinema screen type thing where they showed his life and where associates from America talked to show their respect also and some kind of underground deal was also done with America at that time. I know this because whoever was here investigating from the outside saw all that or was shown.

So that then leaves what was happening outside. Nobody died at that time outside that I knew, I was before and after crisis point. So it could be loosing the old system (sort of) and gaining the sort of new one. I know Paul was with me from childhood, No-one was around in my teens, don't remember Grey being around ever before I had this recent crisis. And I'd never heard of Ty except my sister knew somebody with that name so maybe they took the name from him, I never met or saw the Ty my sister knows she just mentioned him a couple of times.

No-one missing and grieving Ty could be to do with the massive system shift - that's a kind of loss. But I can't relate it to any external event. It can't be to do with work because it started before we quit to take a simpler job. I can't think of anything that happened externally that'd make this internally yet. Can you always link internal happenings to external?