I don't know what to do about Abela (Trigger Warning)

****Trigger Warning (talk of abuse)**** May Trigger (sexual stuff)********

Abela my sexual alter has been with me the longest. I know she has been there since I was 8 but I suspect she has been there as young as 5 or 6. She always wanted to touch people and animals innapropriately. Perhaps some way to cope what was done to her. I don't know because I don't remember. Well I am not going to go into any details but there has been some close calls with her over the holidays. I am afraid that she is actually going to gain full control over my body one day. I have fights with my body not to commit the actions she wants to commit. I have told all of the counselors that I have ever seen about this. Since I have not acted they will not keep me long term in the hospital because they think Abela is just part of my OCD. I don't want her to hurt anybody. I don't know what to do.

I have the reverse problem of this. I have alot of alters who like to be hurt or used sexually. I try to talk them round to wanting something healthy. It's slow progress.

That's the only thing I can think that might help, keep talking to her.

Trigger Warning (talk of demons) Yeah, I was told by my DID Psychologist that I needed to tell her that we could go to jail if she acts. That hypnosis would help and it hasnt. My therapist has never said she is an alter and that it doesnt matter. To just practice my grounding strategies and pray a prayer of compassion that I want protection for everyone. That doing the right thing is more important than if she is an alter or not. My therapist has also said she doesn't believe in demons. I believe I may have many demons inside of me and Thorne and Abela are two of them.

We, people in this forum, gave you information how to help Abela and Thorne as soon as we heard of them. We have done it several times during the months, but you have not been interested. Last time Gangs and I did it maybe two days ago or something, very recently.

I hope you have actually got some kind of wake up call to change your ways, but because how you wrote the message, opposite to the way that would be helpful to them, I seriously doubt that. I just came in to tell that you have received all the info we have about helpings difficult parts, and you are free to start doing those things any time you want to. It's up to you alone. I just will not repeat it anymore, because all repeating before has been time wasted.

Good luck!

I was saying that I think they may actually be demons. I dont hear other people describe having alters that want to touch people. I dont hear anyone saying that their alters think that things that are horrible are funny. Demons operate by causing fear, confusion and obsessiveness. They are there to hinder not help. Thats why I believe I am dealing with demons.

Hi Abela,

I'm sorry that you are being invalidated and treated so harshly. It probably causes a lot of confusion and pain. I hope that the others in your system can learn to listen to your needs and to find a safe way of meeting them.

Hi Thorne,

It sounds like you've been doing a good job protecting the system, and I hope the others can start to understand that and to be thankful for what you've done for them.

Best regards,
the Gang

Trigger warning (demons and religion)
It’s important not to confuse parts/alters with demons, but I believe I’ve dealt with demons influencing my system too. Any Christian can take authority over a demon and make it leave. “Victory over Darkness” by Neil Anderson is helpful, but here’s what I did. I prayed and told God I was going to fast from food best as I could for the specific purpose of taking care of any demonic strongholds in my life. I skipped breakfast and lunch and ate regular dinner with my family. I only lasted 2 days, but I do believe God saw my heart. I continued with my therapy and talking with a Christian friend about the struggle I was having spiritually. I did not share the unwanted violent sexual thoughts and the thoughts raging against God that I was having. They scared me though. I wasn’t sure if it was demonic or a really hurt angry part. I didn’t want to alienate any parts, so I specifically prayed to take care of demons instead of naming suspect parts. Driving home from my Christian friend’s home, I had an “a-ha!” moment where God’s truth broke through my confusion, and I saw a shadow-like thing leave me. I had never experienced this before. I don’t believe Christians can be possessed, but I definitely was battling a demon, and using biblical principles (fasting and prayer), it was taken care of. I still have alters that have disturbing thoughts, but the intensity and the raging against God is gone. I hope this helps!

Rive wrote:I was saying that I think they may actually be demons. I dont hear other people describe having alters that want to touch people. I dont hear anyone saying that their alters think that things that are horrible are funny. Demons operate by causing fear, confusion and obsessiveness. They are there to hinder not help. Thats why I believe I am dealing with demons.

When I was a teen some parts of me would think lots of things were funny that are not. They would even get other people laughing and then feeling bad about laughing. Paul was very manipulative. He'd get people doing things they shouldn't. At a certain age he realised, through help of others that he could use how he was, a good listener with a quick mind, to help people. Then we had alot of therapy and those parts, mostly Paul and No-one have changed. No-one didn't change through therapy, she changed from being in a massive time out internally with the Overlord. Everyone actually forgot about her, it wasn't supposed to be that long. Paul didn't forget about her but when he'd say "no-one would like this" nobody realised he meant "no-one" a part. She was very annoyed when she came back because we forgot about her but somehow she's much more chilled out and settling in to life now - which I think is because we're in our own space and there is no immediate threat because alot of her actions were to do with wanting to escape our parents. So there's different ways alters manage to change but without talking it doesn't happen.

For example when No-one first came back she left a shop with a cardigan and didn't pay. Nobody else appreciated that and we pointed out it was unnecessary. She said she wanted to make sure she could still survive in a situation where that might be necessary but we work to make sure to not be in any situation like that. So she hasn't done it since.

Paul will fight people so we avoid situations like that and he eventually accepted that it's mostly unnecessary because that's what the police are for. As a child we were brought up to fear the police, avoid them. We don't have to do that as an adult.

It's about talking, accepting how and why they're like how they are and offering alternatives and explaining it's not necessary.

So you need to find out Abela's motives - how and why. Then you need to work out alternatives.

Sex is a natural part of life but it needs to be in healthy boundaries. The twins would look at it simply that she needs a willing partner that's appropriate.

I'm having my own sexual issue at the moment. Whenever sex is happening or about to happen a part of my brain falls asleep and another part stays awake. I'm not exactly sure why or what's going on. Switching was quite normal for us in sexual situations. Karen was very sexual but isn't lately. Rose can be. I am having issues that usual parts are not around or have regressed and since SA memory Rose feels horrible. So I know it's to do with that but feeling like half of my brain is asleep is weird. It's better than when I felt trapped in the body - that happened a couple of times and I couldn't communicate - so it's an improvement on that because I can communicate but I do need to find out who is effectively passing out and who's staying awake because something is going on there.

Overall we see sex as a natural biological need so we won't start denying ourselves sex unless we were with a therapist and advised for good reason. The body, we feel, needs sex, it's part of being human. So if we had an Abela we'd get her a bf or gf unless there was a good reason not to.

As for demons: no. Demons are not a good working hypothesis. A good working hypothesis is that it's an alter who wants sex and as long as it's appropriate then there's nothing wrong.

Just no on the demon idea. Sex is not demonic. How you achieve sexual gratification is important in that it needs to be consensual and appropriate but sex in it's self is far from evil. It's about teaching your sexual alter boundaries.

Karen used to have one night stands. Not great. It's not evil though and it doesn't make her a bad person. It actually made her feel good when she would do that, in control. She stopped. I'm not sure if it was therapy or getting caught out (by us) because then it wasn't just here anymore, her thing but she did stop and still enjoy sex (until recently because SA memories have messed everyone up in this system).

No, you don't hear other systems in here calling their system members with names and telling they're demons, and I hope you never will. It does not mean there's nothing in your system no other system has. Every system has parts who holds the hardest things. We just want to heal and help them, so we do things we can to do that, instead of humiliating them in front of whole world.

You have decided different way, and I'm sorry I can't safe others away from being treated like you treat them. But I can't, so I don't waste my time to talking to you about it, because you're still not willing to change, or even willing to understand it's you who needs to change your ways first.

I will not support your abusive ways, they hurt your whole system, including you, but if that's what you wanna do, then that's what you do. How about not writing before you are ready to talk with kindness and ready to help your parts who have more problems than you do? This forum is for helping, it's not a place to bully them publicly. And like you know, it's not only them you call names, you trigger plenty of parts who hold most painful problems in many systems with your ways of accusing them about their trauma.

When you do everything in your power to hurt your parts more, instead of helping them, you have no right to complain they don't obey you. I wouldn't either. I'd go away and do my own stuff.

I may come back when this conversation will be about helping Abela.

Thanks Everyone. Shadow I tried to cast them out. Have you ever heard of Derek PrinceWhen he was alive he was a pastor and a Demonolgist. I have been watching his YouTube videos. I never considered that Thorne and Abela could be demons and I never knew they could be dissociated alters until I was well into my adulthood. So I did some thinking. Derek Prince says that anything that is obsessive (Abela has compulsive sexual urges) anything that causes fear and torment (Abela and Thorne cause those) are not here to help us. They are here to hurt us they are demons. I'm not talking about a alter that takes over and goes plays with toys when things get bad (helpful) I am talking about alters that cause you to want to harm. That like other people's misfortune and take over your body at times to almost do bad things. I have to hold my hands down sometimes. That has to be demonic. I did the steps Derek Prince said to do and nothing has happened. I feel I am being attacked more by evil forces. The church doesn't help with demonic stuff anymore. I actually went threw an exorcism when I was in my late 20s. It did not help. I have never heard of alters that want to hurt people in people with DID. They might steal a toy from the store because they are a little and want it. They might have an alter that has alot of unsafe sex to handle being abused. No one here can honestly tell me they know anybody who has or has had a alter that really wants to harm people in a sexual manner. They can't because that's a demon.