Introducing myself

This is my first time ever posting something like this. My name is Adrian, I'm 22. I'm actually an alter- or, a part. I'm not sure the terms that are used around here.

I'm not sure what I'm even looking for by posting here. I get so tired of pretending that...in day to day life, I'm the host. I'm my own person, that I *exist*. I'm so lonely, I don't actually have any friends. I tried to talk to our psychiatrist, but...he just said that I'm not real, that all i all I am is a result of trauma and a dissociative state of the brain. Which I know, of course I am, I know when I came to be and how I got here. Though it doesn't help that it makes me feel helpless to just be dismissed.

Our household isn't one that I can be myself. In our old house, living away from family, I could tell at least one person who I was. I can talk to my hosts SO who also has did, and a close friend, but it feels..lonely. I just want to be myself, I want to tell someone. I've looked into therapy, but I don't know if I could find one who is d.i.d. friendly, or of they could even help when we're not officially diagnosed.

I'm the protector of our group, self appointed of course. Whenever our host is having a breakdown, I'm woken up to front. About a year ago, I fronted for about 4 months. It was so exhausting, I'm only recently starting to feel better and have energy again. It's hard, only being woken up when there's a problem or if someone needs me.

I guess, if you took the time to read this, thanks. I just want someone to know I exist, even if I just keep circling back to the same dead end point.

Hi
Just saying hello and acknowledging you here!
There is a wealth of support and information here and everyone is welcome. You host is very lucky to have you to take over when needed.

Welcome!

Hey Adrian, welcome to the forum.

Viola

Hi Adrian.
Welcome. The guys and galls here are great. Its hard when you don't have an outside life that recharges you. Everyone here has been great for helping me stay real and giving me a sense of community and life.

Sorry your T is a dick he should know better. If it had been me I'd have hauled him up by the ear and asked him how real I was now! DID is not an admissible sanity plea in the uk. If you assault your T then you get arrested because you are real enough to be liable for your actions regardless of how "imaginary" a "brain state" the T thinks you are.

Mo

You're as real as anyone else who has thoughts and feelings. Single or multiple. So to say "you're not really"the psychiatrist may as well have said he himself isn't real.

Hi Adrian! Welcome to the forum.

In the U.S. you don't have to be officially diagnosed with something to find a therapist who can help you. I'm sorry the psychiatrist said that to you. Obviously you're real--you have feelings and thoughts of your own.

It has helped a lot of my parts to post on here. (We use the term parts for alters--we just like it better. You can use whatever term works for you.)

Protectors have a hard and often thankless job. I agree that your host is lucky to have you.

some of us in the Gang

Welcome Adrian.

-- Sun Oct 20, 2019 4:04 pm --

Sarandipity wrote:You're as real as anyone else who has thoughts and feelings. Single or multiple. So to say "you're not really"the psychiatrist may as well have said he himself isn't real.

That is, perhaps, the hardest thing for "singletons" (to borrow the term) to understand... that alters, other parts, whatever you want to call them... ARE REAL. They are their own person, and not "part of the host".

They are each their own person, host included, even if sharing a single body and common (through a single physical experience) life events.

Hi and welcome Adrian. I have found this forum to be a safe place, as have my alters. I hope you find this a safe place for you as well.

- Purple Haze

Hello Adrian!
Brooklyn here with David and Troublemaker Nevin lurking around in the background. Just wanted to welcome you here and tell you that we're happy you joined us. We are sorry that your T was a dick but we hope that you won't let it demoralize you. You are just as real as you feel and we're glad you are here. We know it's hard feeling alone but there are so many great people here that always have an open ear for you and your problems, us included.

I hope you feel a bit better soon.
Looking forward to hear from you again.

Brooklyn (& David & Nevin)