parts or full?

Hi,

Don't step in self-doubt spirals. They make a mess!

My name is Iain and I'm a part of a system inside an older guy.

We use 'parts' to describe ourselves because that makes sense to us and is what we are trying to be - like parts of a team. Host uses it because we asked him to. We just want something where it's super clear we are real. I wonder what the people inside your system want to be called?

We have some parts we call 'fragments'. I don't know the real definition but they mostly do just one job and don't have a lot of feelings or thoughts outside of that. One is kind of like a robot who keeps us safe. He takes over when there is a threat of SH. He just follows the rules and can't be bullied or tricked because he doesn't care about anything else. Not a guy you can have a conversation with though.

We also have a fragment that used to attack people who tried to hurt us. He was kind of a problem so we had to find something else for him to do (you can't like attack a doctor for touching you where it hurts ). He's really good at yard work though. He can dig and break up fences and cut limbs all day. He never gets tired. He's still there if we need him to attack but he's not going to do it automatically anymore. Kind of important.

Really parts/alters are real people and that means they're complicated.

Iain

For me, the main advantage of using the word "alter" is that, as a noun, it doesn't mean anything except a dissociated part of a person with DID or another dissociative disorder. The word isn't in a regular dictionary as a noun so it's a unique term. Most other terms we use here are going to have secondary meanings, though used on this forum they're going to be understood perfectly well.

Any system may or may not have parts identified as fragments or hosts or other types of alters. After the first few months, we shied away from using most standard terms, like introject or fragment, because some reasonably applied but inaccurate labels led us off track for a while. Useful labels or rolls for one system may not work in another.

One example of a fragment that always sticks in my mind is an alter who job it is to wash the dishes. Their activity is quite restricted compared to others but that wouldn't necessarily mean they're like an automaton (though they might be!). You can do a lot of useful thinking and planning about life while doing something repetitive. So fragment might work as a label based on their actions but their influence behind the scenes might be huge -- calming, rational, wise. So is this a fragment? I don't know, it's up to the system.

I would recommend thinking of most labels as provisional until you feel more confident about their validity later.

lartiste wrote:hey kit,

A little over a month ago I got really confused with terms as well. I personally don‘t know whether I have DID or OSDD as I don‘t quite match either (I have amnesia between some parts, with others I stay co-con). I also got really fussed up trying to determine whether my parts are fragments or „full“ alters. I have come to the conclusion for myself that it doesn‘t matter as much. My T reassured me that complex dissociative disorders are all treated the same, which helped me a lot, to stop making myself fall into doubt-spirals.

I just wanted to let you know that you‘re not alone, in figuring all of this out, and that there are other people that are in the same situation as well. I hope the words of my T resonate with you as well. I envy your curiosity - I am often to scared to analyze my system like that.

Sending you some love and hugs (if wanted)

Thanks, (for the hugs too) I expect its the autism and having to have a logical reason for everything! I'd have made an excellent vulcan on StarTrek!!!

Johnny-Jack wrote:I would recommend thinking of most labels as provisional until you feel more confident about their validity later.

Maybe its a mid-life crisis or the menopause or something but for a while I've been feeling a strong need to understand every aspect of 'myself' and why I did some things I did in the past. Maybe a part feels they need to have peace with who they were before they move on into the second half of the bodies life so we don't make the same mistakes again?

I'd like to feel as 'one' again as I have experienced in the past years before I even knew I had autism or DID. I'm not sure how to achieve that exactly but kind of hoping it will eventually come to me!

Either way for the moment I wonder if it would be better to take a break from the board as frequently explaining things as "Kit felt this' or 'Sioux did that' etc is not helping us present as one. It probably doesn't help that we rarely go out socially so don't often need to, but there's no social pressures for 'me' anymore (work etc) that requires an alter to take over on a daily basis and I 'd like to feel I'm living some of the rest of my life as 'me' (at least for a while until the next 'major meltdown'!)

I'm planning to redecorate as the house badly needs it so hoping that may help everyone focus and come together. Also thought about another puppy (after the decorating!) so we're focused on a 'new life' in the family rather than 'the system' itself constantly'.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and support

Kit & gang