So basically...

DID is your brain excessively compartmentalising everything, sometimes to the degree that a different alter is used for each different job/bodily function?? which would be why some systems can have hundreds of alters and switch several times a day?

So in my case everytime the physical body has acquired a different disability the system has assigned a new alter for it? ..in some cases the alter staying in the system even when a illness/disability has been a temporary reaction to medication levels and the body has long since recovered from it?

So how do I get to a stage where my brain/system doesn't automatically assign a new alter for everything that may happen in my life? Given the conditions the body actually has there's bound to be some other major change in ability coming at some point in its future? Can I consciously stop a new alter been created in response? ..and 'deal with it' as myself?

Kit

I think the idea is to learn other / better coping mechanisms so that splitting is no longer the brain's go-to solution to things.

Our understanding is once we 'learn' dissociation at such an early age, and alters develop enough independence etc by age 5~9, that the brain has basically figured out that dissociation works great for all sorts of things.

And then why would you even bother with less efficient / more painful / more upsetting stuff, when it's way easier and 'more effective' to just shunt stuff away and spawn a new alter as required.

I also think that being aware of all this can help just on the basis of knowing that our 'go-to' is no longer the best choice. That doesn't mean it won't happen, but I like to think if we're at least aware of it, that should some new distressing event happen we might be able to face it (together as a team maybe?) rather than box it up and hand it off to a new teammate.

This is where therapy helps too I believe, since that's part of what we figure it's for. To gain those other coping skills etc, and learn how and when to use them.

Arin

I am not so sure about the theory you base this on...

but generally speaking, to avoid new splits I would work on
a) building tolerance for stress, so that small things won't be so overwhelming they need to be split off and
b) learning new coping skills that are not dissociation to manage the stress
and
c) get a safe life with reduced stress levels to reduce situations that would call for new splits.

Thank you all for your advice.

We do live as quiet a life as possible to absolutely minimise stress as much as is possible but obviously you can't predict when loved ones will get ill or die etc. I can imagine which family members passing maybe traumatic enough to trigger another split and which we'd probably cope with ok. (family/friends we're not as close to).

After 50 years I know my 'autistic-related stressors' well but it's not always possible to avoid them (ie lots of physical contact with a stranger but in a medical emergency this would be impossible to avoid etc). A situation feeling out of my control would likely trigger a major split or meltdown before I (as Kit) was able to 'regain' control again.

Maybe typing out an 'emergency plan' so all alters know what to do in a major life event (ie medical emergency within our body, or sudden death of a family member) child alters should 'stay deep inside' until they're told it's safe/over), adults to decide between themselves who will do what?

What are the usual 'coping skills' suggested for preventing further splits? Just to start us off with a few ideas? Going to an outside controlled therapy isn't a viable option right now.