Zor did something brave!

So we've been chatting on this group dealie for a month, maybe a little more (since early-mid May). It's a non-profit for raising awareness of mental health and stuff... SUPER nice ppl.

Anyhow, Zor did something brave that surprised me- he TOLD PEOPLE about having DID. Just outted himself, us, in a "this is my story" kinda way... and sooooooo wonderful to have ppl like NOT freak out. To have acceptance, support, etc.

For the past year, we've almost entirely lacked that... and to get that, to have a sense of "it's cool, we love you just how you (all) are" kinda feeling from people... <3

But I was super excited he was willing to do it and totally shocked he did... Cuz like he's told almost NO ONE since he found out, since we've been learning to live together like this and all. <3

{\Pixie/}

Sweet! What next?

Una+ wrote:Sweet! What next?

TBH, I have no idea. LOL That was like SOOOOO unexpected.

He did write in our journal that I can "rock my socks" whenever I wanna, as long as it's like subtle and not making a fuss about it... his mom sent me some adorbs ankle socks recently just cuz. So I'm wearing some today.

{\Pixie/}

Congrats Pixie & Zor & all of you.

That's really good!

V2

Great! We are happy for you, Sami and I. Your situation was triggering to us before, when you were submitting to things you shouldn't have and putting everyone else's needs before yours. I can understand it takes time to settle down with such a big change, and we're glad you're now living forwards and doing changes in your life to improve it.

I can't even imagine how it felt for Zor to find out about you, about himself, because I've never been in that situation. It must've been a huge shock. Do you think therapy is helping him? Or if it was just a matter of time when he'll be ready to share with someone he doesn't have to?

(Zor can answer for himself too, if he reads this. In that case, hi Zor! We were just talking about you in here.)

I've been thinking about going to meetings for people with dissociation disorders too, to have that acceptance in real life from someone who understands it. There could be a chance for others to find outside friends as well, other people from their age group, who get the fact body doesn't define you and who may be maybe in same kind of situation.

Well, actually I'm not exactly sure if it's really me who wants to go, or does this come from inside. It doesn't matter tho, if someone wants to, then we will try. I hope it's possible, there is no info about meetings on the pages of the people who arrange this at all. They are for selected people only, they don't share publicly where meetings are and how often. You email them and they meet you first, to make sure you suitable. Terms are to be able to be support for other people as well, like they are supportive towards you. If you are too unbalanced to do that or there's anything shady, you won't be allowed. (All have been accepted this far.) That's what makes meetings more safe, but for me that was a reason to not to sign up the first time when I saw there is such thing. But meeting will be on a public place with a member of the arranger group first, and then you get the info about the actual meetings. I'm aware it CAN be shady from their side as well, but we're gonna find out, and not go if there's anything suspicious. I think we can spot danger clues if it gets TOO secretive. We won't go in any private place to meet people we have not seen before based on our dx. That can be a trap as well. But we will contact and see how it feels.

Did you meet those people from the awareness thing IRL? And that's where he told about you? Or thru an email or something like that?

You stepped up your game too, Pixie. I mean the thing you told about in the protectors thread. Do you think it helped Zor to do what he did, to have you there to stand up for him if needed?

I'm getting somehow really close with Sami atm, and it has improved my life a lot. In a way I don't feel him tho, but in a way I know he's here with me all the time, and it's like a connection also when he doesn't come to the body or doesn't come in the mind fully either. But he's still there. And his boundaries have helped me to do all kind of things, with my new boundaries. Our boundaries, the ones he's building up for me (us).

I was wondering if you guys are going thru something similar. Well, we were wondering.

Floralie wrote:Great! We are happy for you, Sami and I. Your situation was triggering to us before, when you were submitting to things you shouldn't have and putting everyone else's needs before yours. I can understand it takes time to settle down with such a big change, and we're glad you're now living forwards and doing changes in your life to improve it.

I can't even imagine how it felt for Zor to find out about you, about himself, because I've never been in that situation. It must've been a huge shock. Do you think therapy is helping him? Or if it was just a matter of time when he'll be ready to share with someone he doesn't have to?

(Zor can answer for himself too, if he reads this. In that case, hi Zor! We were just talking about you in here.)

I've been thinking about going to meetings for people with dissociation disorders too, to have that acceptance in real life from someone who understands it. There could be a chance for others to find outside friends as well, other people from their age group, who get the fact body doesn't define you and who may be maybe in same kind of situation.

Well, actually I'm not exactly sure if it's really me who wants to go, or does this come from inside. It doesn't matter tho, if someone wants to, then we will try. I hope it's possible, there is no info about meetings on the pages of the people who arrange this at all. They are for selected people only, they don't share publicly where meetings are and how often. You email them and they meet you first, to make sure you suitable. Terms are to be able to be support for other people as well, like they are supportive towards you. If you are too unbalanced to do that or there's anything shady, you won't be allowed. (All have been accepted this far.) That's what makes meetings more safe, but for me that was a reason to not to sign up the first time when I saw there is such thing. But meeting will be on a public place with a member of the arranger group first, and then you get the info about the actual meetings. I'm aware it CAN be shady from their side as well, but we're gonna find out, and not go if there's anything suspicious. I think we can spot danger clues if it gets TOO secretive. We won't go in any private place to meet people we have not seen before based on our dx. That can be a trap as well. But we will contact and see how it feels.

Did you meet those people from the awareness thing IRL? And that's where he told about you? Or thru an email or something like that?

You stepped up your game too, Pixie. I mean the thing you told about in the protectors thread. Do you think it helped Zor to do what he did, to have you there to stand up for him if needed?

I'm getting somehow really close with Sami atm, and it has improved my life a lot. In a way I don't feel him tho, but in a way I know he's here with me all the time, and it's like a connection also when he doesn't come to the body or doesn't come in the mind fully either. But he's still there. And his boundaries have helped me to do all kind of things, with my new boundaries. Our boundaries, the ones he's building up for me (us).

I was wondering if you guys are going thru something similar. Well, we were wondering.

So like this group thingy... It's called "Anime for Humanity" and it's a like mostly online dealie. They use Anime, cosplay, and video games to like raise awareness about mental illnesses in general... we DID meet some of them IRL at a con in May, back in Dallas. So at the con he told the one girl working it, Mary, about us (shocked me). So yes, SHE knew from in person (not who we were, just that we're DID).
Then we got onto the Discord (a gamer chat thingy) server and watch some of them on Twitch (streaming games and stuff with live chat with it). And I've chatted on both now and then, mostly on Twtich. So until this thingy on their server thingy the other day, only like 2-3 ppl in the group knew at all. His post there was public and open, to the entire group... He told 2-3 on there early, but not many... mostly ppl I watched on Twitch and talked to as me... as "his friend". So his post was seriously opening up a TON.

Zor will like totally get to read this when he wants and gets on later. But it's my time right now. LOL

So like do I think it's helped him I am like stepping up? IDK... we'll see, maybe. Depends on how much "bleed over" we have, I guess... to where I influence like his stuff when he's out and whatever... but like he wrote something kinda encouraging about like changing and stuff. One of his wife's biggest complaints or worries early on was like "what if you change a lot" and saying like cuz "sometimes I think they (us) have stronger personalities than you"... and in our journal he noted like he's already changing, did dramatically when he found out... and that's like never gonna stop.
The closer we all get, the more he'll change (all of us will, actually)... and like there's NO WAY to stop that. It's just gonna happen. He did muse about maybe "getting our in front" it, to have some influence and "control" over it... to have an idea of how to guide what changes happen to what degree, etc.

So like to your opening, for real like massive shock -but to us, too... we didn't know how diff we were until things were about blowing up... it was a shock to us, too but even more for him... and yeah, doc is helping us a lot in that... So is like looking at old poems and writings and realizing we've been around, the bad stuff too, like forever.

So like the group dealie, AFH, has con booths and stuff, but like I said, 99% of it is online, so there's a bit of a "safe" measure anyway in that it's disconnected from you personally... I WOULD LOVE a group locally of ppl like us to hang out with and stuff. Could be like WONDERFUL to get like acceptance and like communicate with ppl safely and stuff. <3 Someday, maybe.

So Zor and I have always been close, like brother-sister like, since he's known us online... almost instantly (which he didn't understand but was ok with anyway, such a sweetheart) and I think it's showing on both of us. He's been a little bolder and like "so what if ppl see" like with stuff (like the socks) lately, and I've been toned back a bit and less... "in your face"... So maybe we're kinda rubbing off on each other. LOL

{\Pixie/}

Zor wrote:
So like do I think it's helped him I am like stepping up? IDK... we'll see, maybe. Depends on how much "bleed over" we have, I guess... to where I influence like his stuff when he's out and whatever... but like he wrote something kinda encouraging about like changing and stuff. One of his wife's biggest complaints or worries early on was like "what if you change a lot" and saying like cuz "sometimes I think they (us) have stronger personalities than you"... and in our journal he noted like he's already changing, did dramatically when he found out... and that's like never gonna stop.
The closer we all get, the more he'll change (all of us will, actually)... and like there's NO WAY to stop that. It's just gonna happen. He did muse about maybe "getting our in front" it, to have some influence and "control" over it... to have an idea of how to guide what changes happen to what degree, etc.

For me, that's the goal I had when started therapy. I wanna have qualities others have in the system as much as possible. They definitely have stronger personalities than I do. And in a way I'm the newest one in the system, because my sense of self is the newest. There were former mes and they don't have different names or personality from my current self, but it's mostly because we go by body name and they didn't really have personalities at all. At least not identities. So I'm kind of like new version of former mes, because I have an identity. It's gonna change tho, and I hope it does. There's so much missing from me, and I can feel it should be there, and now I'm getting some of it in me already, and it's great.

Zor wrote:So Zor and I have always been close, like brother-sister like, since he's known us online... almost instantly (which he didn't understand but was ok with anyway, such a sweetheart) and I think it's showing on both of us. He's been a little bolder and like "so what if ppl see" like with stuff (like the socks) lately, and I've been toned back a bit and less... "in your face"... So maybe we're kinda rubbing off on each other. LOL

We do that too with Sami. We have like this inner circle thing, us against the world. Not too seriously tho. He has odd personality. Like he has this layer of titanium on top, that covers him all over. He's aware of everything and he's mentally so strong. Has tendency to be territorial and just takes what he wants and does what he wants, no regrets or shame. You respect it and respect him, or you'll be out of his life, and territory. No negotiation what so ever. But from inside, he has this weird sense of humor and he's actually pretty entertaining. Still has no shame, but it can totally be a good thing. I'm so different from him, and that's exactly what I need. Someone who can do things just because why not, and totally own it.

Way to go Zor. You are so brave. Thanks for telling us too. Always afraid people will be scared of us if we tell..like on TV & in movies.

That's awesome!

It was a lot easier for me to deal with when I finally came to a point where I felt like I could tell people about it. It helped B a lot too, because she really felt like she couldn't be herself when she was out.

Congrats to you all. Way to go Zor, I know that's a big decision!

K

KingsleyHere wrote:Way to go Zor. You are so brave. Thanks for telling us too. Always afraid people will be scared of us if we tell..like on TV & in movies.

Well it was me that told you guys, but like totally Zor that told the others in that discord dealie.
And he totally deserves props for that!
{\Pixie/}