What is a host?

Please forgive me that I am truly ignorant to all of this. Is a host the body you are born with? Or can it be just who is out most? What if you the person that hasnt split off is the host. This is so confusing. Is there any good books that can explain alot for me. I went to my local Barnes and Noble and they had nothing on dissociative disorders. Maybe online? I dont have money right now but I did find a free book on my Kindle app. Just called Dissociative Identity Disorder by Dr. Lynda Irony. Is that a good one?

For us- the host is the person who is fronting (interacting with the outer world) the most. Sorry but we never heard of that book until now. I'll have to check into it. Here's a thread -I found on here- about books: dissociative-identity/topic203830.html?hilit=book%20books

Thank you!

You're very welcome! I hope it helps.

I find the terms confusing too! I think a host is the same as an alter ie whoever's 'up front' or out and dealing with the world at the time?

I consider myself (Kit) as the Original Self (OS) the one that was born into this body so was the baby/child etc before any obvious splits or different persona's/alters began developing.

I think some people consider the physical body to be 'the host' to the alters that live in it too?

I'm not sure as I'm quite new to all this terminology myself!

Kit

-- Sat Apr 20, 2019 10:09 am --

I find the terms confusing too! I think a host is the same as an alter ie whoever's 'up front' or out and dealing with the world at the time?

I consider myself (Kit) as the Original Self (OS) the one that was born into this body so was the baby/child etc before any obvious splits or different persona's/alters began developing.

I think some people consider the physical body to be 'the host' to the alters that live in it too?

I'm not sure as I'm quite new to all this terminology myself!

Kit

Hi,

A host is a part just like all the other parts only they are specialists in dealing with the outside world. Hosts know how to get to work and say the right things and stuff like that. Most of all hosts keep going like nothing ever happened. That's why they don't remember so much. They help the system stay hidden. Most hosts start out kind of clueless and then they learn about DID and parts. At first they freak but then they figure out how to live with the rest of the system. Being a host is a hard job.

Good luck,

Iain

We use the word main front instead of host. Some find the term host upsetting. Not in our system, but in other systems there are parts who don't like the word host. What it means is the part of personality who deals with outside people and outside life, mostly. Host can identify with the body's name and age and looks, but not always. Sometimes there's no one in the system who would identify with the body. So being a host is one job in the system, to take care of outside life. It has nothing to do with being original or with identifying with body or with being more important part than other parts. And just like Iain told, hosts are kept safe from traumas, so that those wouldn't affect their ability to continue life, which is their job. Some systems have one host, some share the duty between few parts, some systems don't have hosts at all. All systems are different, and system can not be wrong kind. They are the kind that is needed in their case.

New theories say there is no such thing as original self. Or well, actually they say all selves are original, not just one of them. You can only have DID if you never developed one self, but several from the beginning. You needed to have several identities BEFORE it was possible for you to have formed one solid identity, which would be around ages from 6 to 9. No child has one united identity before that age, and once it has developed, you can not rip it into pieces. Children with DID can never form that one self, because they already have several identities developing. So they are all original.

Once you have several identities from the beginning, you can create new ones as long as dissociation is your strongest coping mechanism. So some parts can be born when body was adult. They are still not less original than the first ones, because mind will not create them from nothing, they use what's there already. Example: think you have one paper. You rip it into pieces. You can do it fast or slowly, it doesn't matter. In the end you have certain amount of pieces of paper, representing parts of personality. Now answer the question: which piece is the original one? They all are, they all will always be. Even if you leave it be for 20 years and then come back and rip it more, all parts, also new ones are still parts of original paper. There is no other paper than the original, and all pieces come from it. It doesn't matter if they were from the first split, or from twentieth or how much time passed between those splits. They are all parts of original, no part is THE original by itself. System is the original one. System is what was supposed to develop as one personality and one identity, but instead it begun a system with many identities and parts of personality.

Paper analogy is not perfect. It's not perfect, because in it you have one paper in the beginning. But in the beginning of DID there was never just one. First the identity was unformed because child was too young to have it yet, and after that there was trauma that kept parts separate from each other.

System = all parts of personality together.

Great explanation, Floralie! We definitely agree with that.

Some systems have one usual host, like IainEtc said, and others, like us, have different parts who are kind of tag team hosting. We have one who does our fairly new hobby/activity that involves projects at a college, and classes there (although there are two parts who help her, because she's kind of young), one who goes to work (but others are watching and helping, including some littles), one who does house and pet-related stuff (a young one, who has backup by an older one), two who handle "mom-mode" for the outside kids, etc.

Actually, now that I write it out like that, we kind of have a team of two or three who handle each of those areas.

What if I dont split like that and am aware. Like with Thorne she is the only one I can say feels drastically different from me. Other than that I am the me I was born in.

You are starting to talk nonsense again. You do not know who you were before age of 8. Do not change your stories, we will see it every time.

Since you are still using us as an automatic who keeps repeating things we already answered, we are not gonna answer this one. Read what was told to you and understand it. Iain wrote it as clearly as you can. If you choose not to think what it means in your case, we consider it as your problem.