Question

I am trying to upset anyone but sometimes my chatter (thoughts) are stopped. Like I will be thinking and something random will pop up and I am able to stop my thought. Does that mean they are just thoughts and not alters?

No, it doesn’t. Instead of constantly trying to figure out what else it could be, why not just proceed under the assumption that any random thought or feeling you have might be an alter trying to communicate with you, and don’t try to stop it. Stopping it is dismissing the thought or feeling, and that’s not helpful for trying to increase your awareness.

Im just having a hard time accepting I have any evidence for this to be DDNOS. Im sorry I know thats annoying but its true for me.

Well, you can look at your signature and/or read the posts of your parts who are more accepting of the idea whenever you’re having a hard time believing it. You have presented plenty of “evidence;” it’s just a matter of looking at it and absorbing it as true.

I dont see any of that as evidence really. The only thing I can see is evidence is the chatter but now I am questioning that as well. Maybe I need to see an OCD therapist again.

Are you aware of your little(s) posting on the forum?

Those arent my littles. Those are me I dont lose time. I sm always aware of what I am doing. I like kids toys because part of me does. Part of my gets excited when I want a new toy. But some adults like toys.

I’m also always aware of what I’m doing and don’t lose time in any obvious way (obvious to me or anyone else).

Those are littles inside you whose feelings you’re feeling. The ones listed in your signature.

Your dx is not up to what you believe in and what you count as evidence. What you decide to count as evidence yourself, will not take away all the evidence there is in reality, that you decide not to count. You have already admitted the way you feel your littles feelings is just like people with OSDD do, but not any person without OSDD/DID when I explained you the difference. That is actually the most meaningful symptom, and it will not stop being true because you decided not to count it anyway, or any other true evidence there is either. Your true dx won't change because you decided to ignore it, you will just never get real kind of help, and you'll spent the rest of your life living under control of other outside people because of it, with continuous symptoms. And as you choose it, the answer to your question will you ever get to know the truth about what happened to you is no. You will only be able to find out, when you work with it, and you decided you will not, because you like lies better than truth.

You will get better when you accept what you have, and more you push it away, more it keeps interrupting your ability to live normal life, and that happens also when you decide it's not true, because it is not a religious thing you either believe in or not, it is actual facts that will not change because of anyone's believes.

Your actual evidence is
- all symptoms of PTSD
- all symptoms of borderline personality disorder
- all symptoms of severe depression
- all symptoms of bipolar
- all symptoms of schizo affective disorder
- all symptoms of attachment trauma
- other identities living inside you (which you confirmed when I told the difference between how other people feel mixed feelings vs. how people with other identities feel them), also when you decide it doesn't count
- you having parts with different views which we all can both 1. clearly see in here and 2. you have confirmed, whether you recognize it yourself or not, and whether there is amnesia or not (in OSDD there IS NO amnesia and in DID there can be plenty of amnesia WITHOUT YOU BEING AWARE, because you don't feel it any way if there is two minutes gone somewhere during the day) or whether you decide it doesn't count
- dissociation
- denial
- feelings about lying when you're not (lying is always intentional)
- thoughts about your trauma not being relevant enough (part of denial before acceptance)
- dissociative amnesia until the age of 8 (which sounds like your host personality changed there)
- HAVING DIAGNOSE FROM A SPECIALIST
- etc.

There is no other disorder that can have all of them than OSDD/DID, and all that is true in real reality, whether you count is as symptoms or claim it can be something else, because no, it can not be, there are no other identities in any other dx (and again, we can both see them in here and you have admitted them, whether you count it or not). The way you feel your others' feelings is exactly like it is in OSDD before you get better with understanding it. You can only get better at it and truly see them when you know what to look for, but you can't get better at knowing what to look for, because you've decided you won't still count it.

Are you gonna get help and heal is up to you, but there is no reason why wouldn't you seek for trauma therapy, since you have 4 trauma related diagnoses. It is unethical tho, that you leave littles who hold your traumas and probably believe it is all still happening to them minute after minute after minute as long as you keep avoiding them, and decide you don't care, because denial suits your interests better.

If you do today same things you did yesterday, tomorrow will be like today was. And as I have understand it, you are not happy with the way your life is and you have countless symptoms, which is why I have no understanding what so ever why would you continue doing same mistakes again like you plan to do. They will not make difference this time either.

this is how feeling little around feels to me:

Leon has been around a lot lately. He's close, but I never feel like I would switch any way. I have a thought about wanting a fire engine with me, and I know it comes from him, so I do it every time I feel like it (he feels like it). I think I could just start acting like him any time, and it's hard to tell if it's actually from him. I feel so present and fully in control all the time, like I do mostly when others come co-con. I know their feelings and thoughts separate from mine when they do feel differently about something than I do, but at the moment that it happens, it feels like my feeling mostly. I would love to be able to be bit more separate, so that there could be more conversation, now that we mix with each other, it's not clear who is who. And although I can feel Leon's feelings, I still don't feel like I would be child or become a child, so it's bit confusing, because I still feel his feelings as mine. I'm getting better and better at recognizing them, but it's hard.

And this is after acceptance. Before I thought it is imaginary. Ways of confirming it was actually a little one there were:

- to know myself well enough to be able to tell I am an adult, and I don't use comfort toys, although I DO when little gets close to me
- to realize that when I suddenly started feeling lonely in my own apartment, it wasn't my feeling, because it is my conscious choice to live alone all by myself and I love it, although I feel lonely when little one is around
- to realize my facial expressions changed into very childlike when I wasn't paying attention. That one needs practice. You need to be able to not pay attention for it to happen freely first, and then suddenly come aware. Lot of things like that probably happen to you too when you don't pay attention, you just never get to know, because you didn't pay attention. Also telling your facial expression different from someone else's means you need to be aware how your facial expressions are and how do you move when there's no other identities around. It means if you don't know who they are and how they talk/move/express themselves, you can not tell the difference either even if it is there. I can, because my facial expressions are not as big as little one's, although they of course are when he affects them, because we do share a body

My therapist told me. I have all those symptoms because I have an attachment disorder. She said when someone has alot of symptoms from other disorders its because of attachment issues. As far as toys alot of adults collect toys like action figures etc