Subsystems

I haven't been able to find almost anything about subsystems. I struggle to understand some things, like seriously struggle. All parts in the all systems that are in this body's head, are all one person in the end. But that just doesn't make any sense when I'm thinking of us.

All known parts together create a subsystem. Inside that subsystem there is another subsystem, called Fourteen. He is subsystem on his own, because he has DID. And there are subsystems inside his DID as well.

When we started to learn about dissociation and DID, I was still no one. Fourteen is the one whose job it is to feel bad, he is the most traumatized. So first it was him realizing what he has. So he started to find his parts and have all kind of symptoms he wasn't aware before. He didn't realize us others tho, but parts that live inside him. Inner world was still his only world. All that happened in the inner world, his parts happened there, his symptoms happened there. We didn't know a lot about DID, and later on I have found out that a lot of what we learned then, is not actually true. His discoveries didn't happen knowledge first and symptoms then, it happened like it could happen outside. He had weird experiences and when he asked about them, other people had them too. So it wasn't just random stuff we made up.

Back then we were told there is a core and it is the same thing than the host, and that it can't have access to inner world and it can't disappear, it will always be the real one. But when Fourteen had crisis, his host personality split into two. It shouldn't have been possible, but it still happened. Other things that shouldn't have been possible based on how we were informed then, happened too, and he didn't know what was wrong with him. But all he has been thru actually is how DID is as we know it know. His symptoms match, to detail, they are very logical outcomes of what he has been thru in the inner world.

Non of that never happened to my body, but I could feel Fourteens feelings. Somehow we knew more how DID is like, than what was told to us. It proves to me, that his DID is legit. But the question is, when that was all inner world stuff, how can that be real DID? All his parts are based on things that never happened outside, and some of them are very specific. Why and how? And what does it mean?

Did I remove my own symptoms from me and replaced them in Fourteen, because that is his job and I didn't exist? Or have I traumatized him in the inner world by thinking about rough stuff?

Fourteens story is so real. At first there were so much open questions and weird things without cause, but then more parts were found and they explained all that was missing from the story. It became more and more logical every step. If it would've been just a story, the one telling it would've needed to know the reasons before they were revealed, and I didn't. Story told itself and made sense by itself.

After he discovered his DID, I started to be someone and find my own symptoms. They are not as severe and difficult as Fourteens. So they can't explain how we knew how DID is like, because outside we don't have all those symptoms. Just some of them.

DID can hide feelings and memories inside parts, but can it hide itself inside a part?

I just don't understand it. I don't understand how all Fourteens parts can be parts of the whole, when some of them are mind control type of parts created to certain job, and in our past there is nothing like that. Those parts can't make outside body do their things, they can only control Fourteens body and it's inside. Fourteen in general has hard time fully coming outside, I don't think he is strong enough to take full control. With all the parts he has, that is of course also a good thing. I can still feel their feelings out here and be totally triggered if they are.

I don't have this but when you write about it what you're saying always makes sense to me.

I see it like, I'll try to explain and I don't know if its right or not but I always feel I understand what you're saying:

First of all I think you could be right that Fourteen as a part took most of the DID on internally. He split more so you didn't. That means your DID is mostly trapped inside, which is in someways a good thing because you're not having all the symptoms but in others ways not so good because it's harder to reach and therefore treat them?

With how I imagine what you describe is sort of like my internal world's have "people" but they're not people except your people are people. If that makes sense?

The twins don't have anyone else in their internal world, it's empty unless they let the others visit. But Beth has a maid and two footmen, for example, but they're not parts they are just her imagination so she doesn't have to do anything in the internal world. So it'd be like Beths imaginary maid being a part of her. Externally she cleans and is reasonable at it so internally she imagines someone cleans for her. It'd be like the maid being a part of Beth with thoughts and feelings - the maid is Beth sort of because she imagines her but the maid is literally Beth in reality not a part with thoughts and feelings.

Fourteens internal people are parts of him that have thoughts and feelings not imaginary because they have minds of their own and cause him problems which they wouldn't if they were simply imaginary like Beths maid and a literal aspect of her personality.

Is that how it is? That's how I see it pretty much, as best I can describe, when I read what you write.

I can understand what you mean, and where you're coming from. I agree what Sarandipity said regarding Fourteen, that makes sense.

I never considered the different areas of my system as sub systems, they are to me, just different areas of the same system. And Autumn J has just said that it is one system, its just that our system is large. Not sure if my reply helps you or not, but I just wanted to reply. And mainly say that I understood you.

- Purple Haze

With the discovery of a two alters "doing play-calling" for a group of others we've come to the conclusion that they all definitely constitute a subsystem, which we've labeled "the cards," due to how seven of them were first described. The word subsystem has meaning in professional articles about DID, and obviously it has meaning for those of us who have subsystems (!), but there's no exact definition that I know of.

This group is more remote than most alters, even though they collectively spend more time in the body than anyone else. It's as if they're at the end of a road that's blocked to most of us. John drives the vast majority of our therapy but his ability to access this subsystem is so limited that Cal, our former host during the teen years when this subsystem came about, is now driving therapy, at least so long as we're dealing with this. It's very clear that his access is better, even if he had no memory of ever dealing with or knowing about them at that age.

We may have other groups we'll eventually define as subsystems, though none are as large as the 13 we've found so far in this one.

SystemFlo wrote:DID can hide feelings and memories inside parts, but can it hide itself inside a part?

Well, since that's what happened, obviously the answer is yes.

Seriously, the purpose of DID is to hide intolerable feelings and memories from the one(s) who has(have) to live and function throughout their childhood years. And the existence of DID itself is often hidden from the host(s), so it makes sense that an especially creative way to hide it would be to create a part inside who had DID.

I think there's no limit to what elaborate lengths the mind will go to in order to not only protect itself, but to continue to develop its abilities and to thrive.