What is this?

Hello. I am struggling to understand if what I am experiencing is normal or not.
I try to say something to myself, to have a conversation with myself and instead of my own voice, I hear another voice or many voices. I may feel really sad and tired, while another voice inside me speaks constantly and is full of happiness and energy. Another voice feels like a man and I have also many voices that speak in a childish manner and feel they are children. In some cases, I see the people that own these voices. They have specific dress code, age, face, body. I see them act when they speak. They also live in specific places and they may change something in the place or in their dress code if they feel different than usual. Then, I become like these people and so I act and feel and think exactly like them. Exactly as they did in my inner world. They may comment on each other or even me using my own mouth, my own mind and so on. I try to put some limits to the situation, but I feel it right in the tip of my tongue, when they want to come out. I want to know if this is normal. If all people have it or if they are alters. What would you say?

No one here can diagnose you. What you described could be normal to DID/OSDD1, but doesn't have to be either of those. Do you have access to therapy?

You can do an evaluation of how dissociative you are online. This will not diagnose you - only a clinician can do that - but it will give you an idea if you experience much dissociation. http://traumadissociation.com/des

Hi donna1995,

If by "normal" you mean most people, then no, it's not. It's very "normal" for people with DID or OSDD. You can have a dissociative disorder without amnesia (you didn't mention any loss of time), although it's not uncommon to have amnesia for your amnesia. You also don't have to remember any trauma, although people usually eventually do discover the memories and feelings that have been dissociated away.

Are these symptoms aren't distressing you or causing problems in your life (with friends, work, relationships, etc)? An experienced therapist can help you sort it all out.

Also, there's a lot of information and support on this forum. It's not a substitute for therapy, but it can be very helpful. Welcome!

--the Gang

My experiences related to amnesia are very limited. There were times when I became a voice that is a child, and then I found myself landed in the middle of a specific route, without remembering how I got there. Its is not recorded in my mind. Something similar happened with some other activities too. Usually, when I start not recognizing and not remembering, another part of me reminds me of my personal information. Its hard for me to accept it as the truth however. Moreover, when another part of me comes out finds themselves landed in the middle of a certain activity, which they remember another part did, but do not recognize it as their own. I also remembered a traumatic event 18 years later. I do not know if these experiences count for amnesia.

hi welcome to the forum

I don't really believe in normal. Not even for DID. Sure there is common symptoms but no specific combination of symptoms makes the "normal" system. If that makes sense
It could be alters - but we couldn't specifically tell you if it is or isn't we aren't professionals

I suggest you see a therapist! Preferably one with PTSD and/or DID background (well I doubt a therapist would be a did specialist without having a basis and understanding in trauma ) there's nothing wrong with having someone in your corner

J

All diagnoses are there just to describe symptoms and combinations of symptoms. They become symptoms when they are no longer normal. Having parts, which means those other voices and identities living inside your mind, is totally normal in DID and OSDD, actually you can't have DID or OSDD without having parts. It is the symptom you do need to have. In DID you need to also have memory loss, in OSDD you don't have it, but you always stay co-conscious when others do their things.

Most systems (system is all parts of the personality together) have host-personality, but not all of them. Host is the one who is in control mostly. You may be the host personality of your system, but it doesn't mean you are more real than others or more important. Host personalities struggle many times with denial. It's hard for them to believe in what they have, that it is real, and that they don't just imagine it. Denial pretty much comes with the job of being host. What we in here keep telling people is that there is no reason for you to try to hold back. If you do have DID or OSDD, you have had it since you were younger than 9 years old. So, nothing is gonna change, but the fact you get to know more about it.

It sounds like you already have good co-operation going on, so things are not that bad for you at all. Try to get yourself diagnosed and then find a therapist, and you do need to be diagnosed by someone who does believe DID is a real thing. If they don't believe in it, they can not diagnose it, or rule it out either. If it turns out that you in fact do have OSDD or DID, then find a therapist who is experienced in treating what you have.

You can write in here without formal diagnose too. It does sound close enough to me, and you can read other posts in here and think if you relate or if you don't.

I understand the voices thing... inside I have always heard "others" even if I didn't understand what they were or why they didn't sound like me inside until relatively recently.

But like someone said above... no one here can say for certain if what you're experiencing is anything specific. That takes a qualified T with time to sit down and talk to you and understand you and your personal case.

Either way, I hope that being here is helpful and beneficial to you, and you get the help you need to be as functional and happy in your daily life as you can be.

I would like to thank you for your sharing your opinion. My psychotherapist does not believe me. The psychiatrist I see has not fully understood the situation.

donna1995 wrote:My psychotherapist does not believe me.

My opinion: That should never happen. Ever. Time for a new therapist.