New part revealed herself...tw

So got into fight with mom. And I was deeply hurt. This part must of been out longer than I knew and when I was so upset I said a little prayer...this part said something danngerous and vile.



SO SO SCARY. I've been up all night trying to calm it down and to calm myself down.


Turns out the part was just scared I was mad,everyingone was mad and mom was mad at her and she said vile things .


Its horrible but I feel like I understand this part must be much younger. Much. Because I wouldn't dare say anything like that. I'm not that type of person.


So now I'm adjusting to this new part and its still scary.

How do you guys deal with this type of $#%^?

Hi!

I can't say that this is like our 'protocol' or whatever, but V1 started doing it like this and V2 followed on, so it's basically what we try to do when someone new shows up.

First thing is, try not to be angry or upset with them. Try to stay calm and talk to them. Be polite and try to stay like, level, don't raise your voice or freak out or whatever.

Introduce yourself to them, ask who they are, but don't force it if they don't want to identify themself. Let them know you want to help them, that you want to be friends.

Let them know that you know they've been trying to help, (even if it doesn't seem that way to you), and that you appreciate it, but things are different now. Let them know you are safe now, and that they are safe too. (If you are really safe, of course!)

If they are causing trouble, be polite but firm and ask them to stop. Maybe explain what specifically you'd like them to stop doing, and why it's harmful now.

Don't expect things to go easy or smoothly on the first try. Sometimes you have to find different ways to communicate, like thinking at them, talking out loud, writing to them, etc. But the main thing is to try keep patient and calm and friendly and polite. If you react with anger or upset, that can just make things worse as they see you as a threat and try to fight back or whatever.

This stuff has worked pretty well in our system. Maybe it'll be helpful for you. Good luck.

Arin

VioletFlux wrote:Hi!

I can't say that this is like our 'protocol' or whatever, but V1 started doing it like this and V2 followed on, so it's basically what we try to do when someone new shows up.

First thing is, try not to be angry or upset with them. Try to stay calm and talk to them. Be polite and try to stay like, level, don't raise your voice or freak out or whatever.

Introduce yourself to them, ask who they are, but don't force it if they don't want to identify themself. Let them know you want to help them, that you want to be friends.

Let them know that you know they've been trying to help, (even if it doesn't seem that way to you), and that you appreciate it, but things are different now. Let them know you are safe now, and that they are safe too. (If you are really safe, of course!)

If they are causing trouble, be polite but firm and ask them to stop. Maybe explain what specifically you'd like them to stop doing, and why it's harmful now.

Don't expect things to go easy or smoothly on the first try. Sometimes you have to find different ways to communicate, like thinking at them, talking out loud, writing to them, etc. But the main thing is to try keep patient and calm and friendly and polite. If you react with anger or upset, that can just make things worse as they see you as a threat and try to fight back or whatever.

This stuff has worked pretty well in our system. Maybe it'll be helpful for you. Good luck.

Arin

Thank you for the advice! I'm gonna contonue to try this and see how it works out for me. Things are calm but I can feel a new thread around. Or thread that was always there but never interacted with it..being mad was my first responce. Like I knew better than to get angry but deep down I was. I'm working out it.


Thank you!!!!