How can one "get back to childhood" as an adult?

Thanks again for your thoughtful response, Gang.

TheGangsAllHere said:

Thank you, MDs. Sometimes I get so caught up in what's working for me that I become too much of a cheerleader for it. Of course the same need can be met in different ways, and the way that feels right for me won't necessarily feel right to others. I appreciate you reminding me of that in such a kind way.

We appreciate your acknowledging that we were appropriately sensitive in the way we handled the above. Sometimes we try to make a point in what we think is a respectful manner, but the other party is less than happy with what we said, or the fact that we even said it.

TheGangsAllHere said:

Hmm, maybe I wasn't clear about what my T means by that and how it works (keeping in mind that it still isn't something you would want or would feel is best for you). My T is very aware of boundaries and very mindful of them. We have a close relationship that IS based on a professional scenario and bound by its ethical (and legal) limitations. He does care about us as a person (people)--I'm not sure what other kind of caring you meant. But he feels that caring in his heart--isn't that where people feel caring? Also, the relationship with a therapist is an intimate relationship within its limitations, with the responsibility completely on the therapist to avoid using a client to meet any of their needs.

Thank you for clarifying. Yes, we agree that the responsibility is on the therapist. We were burned by so many authority figures in our childhood, however, that we enter any therapeutic (or other support professional) relationship with vigilance, knowing that we are ultimately the ones responsible for our own safety and well being. We have taught the younger ones this from the very beginning. It's sort of like "Stranger Danger!" vigilance adapted to the context of caregivers.

Does it place additional limits on the degree to which we open up and trust? Yes. Perhaps this may change in the future, and we can modify the system rules. But for now, this is what we need to do to feel safe.

TheGangsAllHere said:

There isn't anyone else who really knows and accepts all of us, and to have someone do that has really been helping me.

Same with us and our T. The fact that we've been with her for almost 15 years, and have achieved significant growth throughout that period, amazes us at times.

Charity, Mary, and others

Even if one got that experience of being taken care of in all the ways one wishes for, to be healthy one would still have to give it up, and mourn the loss of it. That transition and its mourning is part of becoming a healthy adult.

Una+ wrote:Even if one got that experience of being taken care of in all the ways one wishes for, to be healthy one would still have to give it up, and mourn the loss of it. That transition and its mourning is part of becoming a healthy adult.

Agreed, Una. Thanks for pointing this out.

MDs

Una+ wrote:Even if one got that experience of being taken care of in all the ways one wishes for, to be healthy one would still have to give it up, and mourn the loss of it. That transition and its mourning is part of becoming a healthy adult.

Very well said.