Told My T

Hey everybody,

Did the scariest thing of my entire life today and told my T about what I'm experiencing re:dissociating and identity, Jen and Echo, et cetera.

It went... well, actually. It was genuinely the hardest thing I've ever come even passingly close to talking about in therapy and he was very balanced and curious and didn't invalidate me as I'm afraid he would do. I am now, of course, cripplingly terrified that he internally believes I'm making $#%^ up for attention but it's so calming to know I've finally accepted that, acknowledged that in a more substantial way.

Em's freaking out. More than she wants to admit. But she did the thing and it wasn't a train wreck so it's all good. Sort of. Jen.

I'm glad it went well

Good job! Now that is forever behind you, and ahead of you is so much less anxiety about what might happen. Well done.

Very brave! I'm happy for you!

Thanks you guys - it's been so helpful returning to this forum and talking through things and seeing other people's experiences <3

Any tips on handling the anxiety over invalidation, though? Like, I can't control how he thinks and I know that, but I'm just really frightened and don't know how best to manage it.

I don't know how long you have known your T but perhaps its just time. Over time they will hopefully demonstrate they are on your side and support you like they did today. My T is like an immoveable rock and whilst I always struggle with trust, she is consistant and calm.

Skaya wrote:Any tips on handling the anxiety over invalidation, though? Like, I can't control how he thinks and I know that, but I'm just really frightened and don't know how best to manage it.

Well, this is how you felt he responded:

Skaya wrote:he was very balanced and curious and didn't invalidate me as I'm afraid he would do.

Has he ever responded in a way didn't match what he said? Do you feel that his responses aren't genuine?

If there is nothing in the present (i.e. in your actual relationship with him) to indicate that he will be invalidating, then the fear is based on your past experiences, not on what is actually happening right now.

If you are allowed to contact him between sessions, you could ask for reassurance about this. Or you could write down what your fears are--especially if different parts are feeling different things about what happened. Then bring that with you to the next session so you can talk about it with him.

Glad that it went well!
I hope this first step leads to a lot more good things.

Im so glad!!! That's always one of the first and hardest steps we think

J

Skaya wrote:Any tips on handling the anxiety over invalidation, though?

Only know that this is really, really normal for someone with DID who breaks the silence barrier. You're not alone. Many, many of us have been there. I was when I first started telling my psychiatrist about all this. And again for months each time I divulged a new area of my reality. Congratulations on your courage. It will probably inspire others here.