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What if we don’t have trauma?

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What if we don’t have trauma?

Postby YetiTank » Tue Nov 06, 2018 3:45 am

We’ve been debating posting on this forum because a DID specialist didn’t think we had it (might be Cat’s fault for lying though?). But we are definitely multiple and just... how does one handle the feeling of being multiple without having a definitive reason? The only things that could be traumas occurred long after we actually became multiple.

Repressed memories of trauma? Unlikely. I at least don’t think there would be zero signs. Multiplicity is just a natural state for us.

Our symptoms seem to match somewhat with OSDD-1b but of course I won’t self-diagnose. The fact we can’t properly switch is a massive difficulty. But is it really... real, if we weren’t traumatized? Does it count? That question eats Yeti up sometimes... and I guess also me.

-Selva

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Re: What if we don’t have trauma?

Postby NyxX » Fri Nov 09, 2018 12:21 pm

If it bothers you that you have been told you don't have DID look into getting a 2nd opinion because misdiagnosises do occur, I can't know if that's the case with you however.

Trauma is a subjective experience not an objective one. So the trauma can be something you now don't view as traumatic now as an adult or because you don't have access to the emotional part of the memories. Also traumatic memories causing DID or OSDD likely occurred when you were a young child or infant, and memories from that age are typically incomplete or missing because memory is something that develops as you grow.
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Re: What if we don’t have trauma?

Postby SOHank » Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:26 pm

Neglect is another known cause.

Though the mind can also do a "fantastic" job of memory suppression. Something that was originally for your own good to survive, but hard to "turn off" when you are ready.

Or misdiagnosis. DID is tricky.
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Re: What if we don’t have trauma?

Postby Floralie » Fri Nov 09, 2018 4:44 pm

I had out of body experiences as a child, when I had to walk in front of our classroom to show where certain city is on the map. It was so stressful for me to be looked at by whole class I couldn't stay inside my body.

As a preschooler it was certainly re-traumatizing when I needed to pour milk to fill other kids' mugs. All the other kids hoped they could be the one who gets to do it, but for me it was so overwhelming, I didn't want to go inside that building at all. I cried and hoped I wouldn't have to, but I had to. And I really wasn't a kid who would say "no" to adults, so crying and asking for not needing to do it was like all brave I had. It didn't help. So I poured milk.

It sounds very little to be a trauma, to need to pour milk. I visited that building one time as an adult, and there was the same smell there was when I was a kid. It got me REALLY anxious right away. I was so anxious all the time as a kid, I couldn't handle normal things in life.

My main trauma is not from pouring milk or needing to know where foreign countries cities are. The fact they were re-traumatizing events, tell the story about how fragile I was and how non-existing my self esteem was, because of other things. It was a struggle to pretend to be like others, and standing out any way was overwhelming. And that is why normal everyday things came traumatizing.

About the same age real trauma things didn't feel traumatizing anymore. I could decide not to feel, and just play regardless what was happening around me. So, yes, trauma is subjective. When you can dissociate, it doesn't feel like traumatizing anymore.
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