Does DID make a person more fragile?

Zor wrote:

DozensOfDenizens wrote:We all love this analogy holy cow. The world sees us as strong as it does because we are over 100 threads braided into 1 rope. Amazing.

I can't take credit for it, it's from scripture (something very dear and integral to me).

"Moreover, an attacker may defeat someone who is alone, but two can resist him; and a three-stranded cord is not easily broken." -Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) 4:12

Oof, I really need to read the scriptures more. That's a great scripture, and it's amazing how it applies so differently to us but so perfectly:3

DozensOfDenizens wrote:Oof, I really need to read the scriptures more. That's a great scripture, and it's amazing how it applies so differently to us but so perfectly:3

I follow a reading schedule where I read a little of it each day… by the end of the year (ending at the end of the last of the holy days in the year- in Sept/Oct), it has you going cover-to-cover through the entire Bible. I find something new every time I read a section I've read before… Or something I know gets a new meaning or application based on life events and/or learning other things… 

Zor wrote:

DozensOfDenizens wrote:Oof, I really need to read the scriptures more. That's a great scripture, and it's amazing how it applies so differently to us but so perfectly:3

I follow a reading schedule where I read a little of it each day… by the end of the year (ending at the end of the last of the holy days in the year- in Sept/Oct), it has you going cover-to-cover through the entire Bible. I find something new every time I read a section I've read before… Or something I know gets a new meaning or application based on life events and/or learning other things… 

Elder speaking again, but I'm on mobile and don't want to grab my format xP That's what I've heard so many people say about the bible... I don't think I've read it all the way through myself even once. I've started for seminary and institute (I'm Mormon xP) but like two weeks into the semester I always fall out of the habit.

Head captain here, I get the sense it was an unknowing switch before we knew we were multiple that caused that loss of habit and interest, to be honest

-- Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:20 pm --

Worrywart here. Sorry if we derailed the thread xP

I don't know we derailed it… it's just a tangent about something that makes some of us stronger (for me faith and study of scripture certainly does that). Others it won't help or be any comfort (possibly the opposite effect). It's a personal matter, each of us finds strength and stability in different things. In that way, we're not TOO far off topic.

Zor wrote:I don't know we derailed it… it's just a tangent about something that makes some of us stronger (for me faith and study of scripture certainly does that). Others it won't help or be any comfort (possibly the opposite effect). It's a personal matter, each of us finds strength and stability in different things. In that way, we're not TOO far off topic.

Fair point. xD

I'd also add, even away from scriptural citation… the principle is valid in practice, too. We make rope from multiple lines, often twisted or braided in some manner, b/c it makes the whole stronger than the sum of the parts.

I think the same is true for us. We're stronger than one when our parts are all working together- be it through integration or cooperation.

Zor wrote:We make rope from multiple lines, often twisted or braided in some manner, b/c it makes the whole stronger than the sum of the parts.

I think the same is true for us. We're stronger than one when our parts are all working together- be it through integration or cooperation.

Nice addition!

I think with DID you are able to go through some very horrible things without necessarily having a breakdown in functioning, however, the background of disorganized attachment and abuse/trauma does leave a person less equipped to deal with areas like relationships and emotion regulation. Like Violetflux wrote, that is probably true for singletons with that background, too.

Maybe there's also a difference between being able to deal with acutely stressful situations, and thriving long-term. I have a feeling that a singleton might have more issues with a stressful situation and may have "break down", but after that may be able to thrive again. Whereas with DID it's (in my experience) easier to go through acutely stressful situations, however it is almost impossible to thrive. As things don't necessarily get processed.

My opinion, based only on my own experience.

I think the coping strategy of DID shows we are strong and learned how to bend under forces that should have broken us.

I feel though, that as adults the fragility comes from realizing we are different and feeling self conscious about it. I also have found, that for us, the others coming to light originally meant they had to make us vulnerable which can make one feel fragile.

I also have one who has always been tough, aggressive, and abrasive. But have learned that aot of that was/is an act to cover up fear, sekf-doubt, and insecurity. To overcome those things (and we are all still working on it), one must open up, which makes us vulnerable. I think it makes us FEEL frail, instead of acknowledging the courage and strength it takes to get to a place where we can allow that level of vulnerability. It is easier to let things go as they always have, than to open ourselves up to the vulnerability that makes us feel frail and weak.

Does that make sense?

fireheart wrote:I think with DID you are able to go through some very horrible things without necessarily having a breakdown in functioning, however, the background of disorganized attachment and abuse/trauma does leave a person less equipped to deal with areas like relationships and emotion regulation. Like Violetflux wrote, that is probably true for singletons with that background, too.

Maybe there's also a difference between being able to deal with acutely stressful situations, and thriving long-term. I have a feeling that a singleton might have more issues with a stressful situation and may have "break down", but after that may be able to thrive again. Whereas with DID it's (in my experience) easier to go through acutely stressful situations, however it is almost impossible to thrive. As things don't necessarily get processed.

Interesting you mentioned thriving… I just ran across this yesterday
https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2018/6/surviving-vs-thriving-with-dissociative-identity-disorder

I didn't get the original post, though I understand the gist of the questions. I kept thinking, "more fragile than who?" But the thread as a whole is really interesting.

To me, a survival mechanism by definition isn't about making somebody stronger or weaker, it's about whether they survive or not. People who post here did that obviously. People develop DID due to child abuse and/or neglect. It's the abuse/neglect that makes a person fragile. A lot of people could be considered emotionally or psychologically fragile and most of them aren't going to have DID. But I'd bet a majority of them had relatively poor parenting or unhealthy childhood environments.

People who join this board are often facing a new diagnosis of a dissociative disorder, or they're beginning to suspect they have DID, or they're going through a DID crisis (sudden changes, meeting a lot of new alters...). So of the broad cross-section of people on this board, yeah, more fragile than an average person. But I've seen enough people come and go here to realize many get some answers, enjoy the awareness of common experience, gain some perspective, begin to heal, then move on with their lives. So how many people with DID are pretty functional and wouldn't be considered fragile for most of their lives?