Co-fronting

It's been a while since we last posted and I hope you are all doing well. Before the chain of events that led us to where we are now we started cofronting and it really felt weird and it happened the morning before the big problems started like a reaction to what was about to happen. We know now that we can only truly trust each other. I wish that things could be better right now, but they will be soon.

Many things have changed drastically over these last few months. Some better, some worse. But I'm posting for two reasons.
One: My host believes that if we keep doing this that one of us will cease to exist. And Two: Can we stop this and front like we used to? (one fronts alone, the other is a passenger.)

Any advice would be appreciated. And sorry we haven't been around for a while.

Sounds like the two of you could merge if you continued co-fronting. That is not the same as one of you disappearing.

We've both had the body without the other being around. However there are traits about the other that we don't like about the other. If we integrate, what would that person like? We've gotten used to sharing a body and it'll be weird to get used to not having the other around. I normally don't worry too much, but that's bothering me among other things.

Hi !

I don't know how your system works, but for us, we can't merge if all the alters involved are okay with it.
We can blend a little and have the feeling that we become each other when we're co-present, but that's all, and it stops when we stop the co-presence, or when one of us try to be more focus on himself.
And even when all the alters involved are agree, merging like that isn't a stable and definitive process. During the week (or so) that follow the merge, the new alter can easily split into the former alters (or alters which look like them) if not carefull.

I already merged twice : once with Cassie, I freaked out and split again, that lead to the creation of Cassandra (same as Caissie, but with less trauma as I kept some of them) ; once with Alix, and even if I knew what would happen, it was so weird that I almost split again. And after that, I was carefull about triggers and stress, 'cause I could feel it would make "me" split again.
Even now, three months after, I still feel like I could split again if I really pushed for it. It would be more difficult than before, but I could.

About the "new alter" that is created... well, Alix was almost a fragment, so not a totaly-developped alter, and I've taken her stronger traits only, so I'm still "me", but with the totaly new desire to look good and attract people, so it makes me more concerned about how the body looks and a little bit more sociable, totaly like Alix was, which feels weird.
It's like I'm still me, but I also look like her.
I don't know what the result will be with a full-developped alter.

That made me feel better. You're, saying that if we don't actively want to merge then we won't. But we didn't want to co-front either and yet we did without either of us trying to. We've been co-present since a few years ago and it was really hard to get used to the other. We'll continue to feel this out and learn how to control it, just like we did we learned how to switch which was really hard to do at first. Thanks for your reply.

How does your core feel about you confronting? Is he/she present? I'm conscious with my alter, and basically we either agree are disagree on what to say or do. Sometimes someone gets embarrassed about what the other says, or we disagree. But we take some timeouts to regroup.

I'm not worried about Co-fronting. I trust her. I'm only worried when she walks. The walk she does bothers me a bit and her thoughts. But when we co-front it feels like both of us has a controller and we're both trying to control the body at the same time. It feels weird.

We co-front a lot always with Z and one of the other alters. There is a purpose for it.

For us its about sharing and hiding. Z has a rule about always sharing what's happening with the body so we can behave in a consistent way with the outside people and then they won't know we are different. So if we start doing or saying something that contradicts each other she will step in. It can be difficult sometimes especially if whoever was fronting didn't want to share.

Anyway I was trying to say maybe the way to stop it is to figure out why your system feels you need to be co-fronting before you can figure out a solution to stop it

There are almost always two of us co-fronting at any given time. We feel less alone that way, and we know that we have each other's support. Even when we argue.

MDs