About Flashbacks (possible trigger warning)

We have downloaded the article but have yet to read it. We have still been having our fear flashbacks, one bad one last night but we managed to (well, Aloysius did) convince Snow to not take us to the river and instead wrote about our pain we were experiencing in the form of two poems and some writing in our journal. We know the source of these flashbacks and tonight during trauma therapy we managed to actually have first contact with our newest alter, three year old Aura, which was an exhausting affair.

Now I'm confused and curious... When I feel unexplained fear come over me, and there's no obvious source or reason for the fear, how can I tell if it's a flashback, or if I'm having an anxiety attack, or if another part is close to front and feeling anxious?

I suppose something you start to figure out through experience? Though I don't really want to experience these things often enough to learn to easily identify them...

-Violet (1)

This is such a helpful thread because I am experiencing a lot of this right now. Thank you for posting. And for all the responses and the helpful link.

As to your question Violet (1) I'm afraid I don't know an answer. I am trying to remember to ask inside. Sometimes I get answers. Not always though. And I know what you mean about not wanting to experience them enough to learn to easily identify!

I have flashbacks all the time. I have the visual kind, where I can be sitting in my office one moment and then realize I've been in a flashback. It can be something simple like thinking about the van I bought when I moved once, but the thoughts of that van take me down a rabbit hole of thoughts and feelings. Flashbacks are very uncomfortable for me.

I will have physical symptoms because of them, like a racing/pounding heart or feelings of guilt/shame/anger. I have them all the time. My T says they're part of the DID. Does anyone else agree that they're part of DID?

VioletFlux wrote:...When I feel unexplained fear come over me, and there's no obvious source or reason for the fear, how can I tell if it's a flashback, or if I'm having an anxiety attack, or if another part is close to front and feeling anxious?

-Violet (1)

good question. we feel flashbacks can be very similar to an anxiety attack, especially somatic flashbacks, depending upon the severity. we have managed to figure out our recent fear attacks are courtesy of Aura, but we had to learn that in therapy, and it hasn't stopped them.

it is our understanding that flashbacks can be an aspect of both PTSD and DID (and in our opinion it doesn't really much matter which as they still have the same terrifying effects)

If we know what the trigger is we can usually tell who has been triggered.

comevuoi wrote:I have flashbacks all the time. I have the visual kind, where I can be sitting in my office one moment and then realize I've been in a flashback. It can be something simple like thinking about the van I bought when I moved once, but the thoughts of that van take me down a rabbit hole of thoughts and feelings. Flashbacks are very uncomfortable for me.

I will have physical symptoms because of them, like a racing/pounding heart or feelings of guilt/shame/anger. I have them all the time. My T says they're part of the DID. Does anyone else agree that they're part of DID?

I think they are absolutely part of DID. Not to say that everyone with flashbacks has DID, but probably everyone with DID has (or had) flashbacks, I would think.

Most of the ones we get are purely emotional, but I think our original trauma(s) were at such a young age those parts hold nothing but emotions.

The one we had on the weekend was a lot more intense and had the somatic aspects as well, and it was definitely from a later time. We're pretty sure now that it came from a part that we just learned about the day before, a 6yo named Arin. Her age matches what the flashback felt like.

-V2

So, recently I've been able to manage the sudden waves of sadness by hugging a large stuffed bear (or the husband, when he's around), and just waiting until it fades. These waves will come over me when I'm just doing any ordinary task--somehow they seem to be triggered by being in the kitchen, but I haven't figured out why. But the sadness doesn't seem tied to anything in particular, except that it's coming from a little named Jenia. Is this necessarily a flashback? How do I know that she's not just feeling sad now, in the present, and I'm just aware of it. Or because she might be feeling sad about things from the past, does that make it a flashback?

I guess the distinction doesn't really matter, as long as I'm taking care of her. I've been calling it a flashback--that seems to help me realize it's a discrete event that will pass rather than a sudden realization that I'm deeply unhappy and my life is miserable.

Hi Gang! I've been wondering this as well, how to tell if it's a flashback to some past trauma versus another part experiencing strong emotions in the present.

What I figure is, a) we don't have great communications yet, really still only just starting this whole journey, so I can't just ask the other parts what's going on. Or I can try asking but I rarely get a straight answer, or any answer at all. And b) unless I have reason to believe different, it's safer for me to assume that these other parts are still 'trapped' in the past, reliving their trauma when triggered.

Eg. our newest little who revealed herself, Arin, I have had almost zero communication with apart from learning she exists. She seems to be the source of most or all of my current flashbacks, which seem to be from being bullied and beaten at a young age. I'm calling them flashbacks because I don't have any reason to think Arin is experiencing this trauma in the present.

And I'm attributing them to her because they started around the same time she turned up, and some of the feelings evoke a sense of being the same age as her. I don't think they're from Melissa, who's very nearly the same age, because we've communicated with Melissa and she's never indicated being a source of any of these emotions, though she was aware of at least some of the abuse back then.

Closer to what you've described, I have had flashbacks of profound sadness / despair, which I believe came from a part named Claire. We've had some sporadic communication with her so we're fairly confident she's the source of those feelings, but it is harder to know if those are feelings from the past, or from her in the present. However, I think she's still at least to some extent still trapped in her own trama time. So even if she is 'sad in the present' it is still originating in trauma that happened in the past. So I'd still call it a flashback.

Ultimately, I whether it's a 'flashback to the past' or a 'flashback into someone else's present' is probably less important, than simply acknowledging that the feelings / sensations are not yours but are coming from another part of you. To me, that realization is massive and makes it so much easier to cope with -- because as you said, you know it's a discrete event, that it will pass. And we have tools like grounding etc to help us work through it.

You mentioned your situation being tied to the kitchen, that reminds me of something our previous host experienced that was tied to a particular room. For a day or so, every time she went into that room she heard a voice telling her to kill herself. As long as she was in there, they just repeated it over and over, and she'd feel a growing sense of despair and hoplessness while in there. Then step out of the room and it was gone and she felt fine. She was able to sort of laugh it off because she felt it was so alien and it came and went so abruptly just by entering / leaving the room.

Instead of worrying about the experience, she attributed it to ghosts... we used to think we lived in a haunted house. Now we've realized that about 2/3 of our 'haunted' experiences are more easily explained by DID, lol. Actually, I'm not sure if that's funny or sad, that her denial was so strong it was easier for her to believe our house was haunted...

Violet (1)

VioletFlux wrote:Ultimately, I whether it's a 'flashback to the past' or a 'flashback into someone else's present' is probably less important, than simply acknowledging that the feelings / sensations are not yours but are coming from another part of you. To me, that realization is massive and makes it so much easier to cope with -- because as you said, you know it's a discrete event, that it will pass. And we have tools like grounding etc to help us work through it.

Exactly. Otherwise you're like a ping pong ball being batted from one feeling to the next, with no sense of perspective.

VioletFlux wrote:Instead of worrying about the experience, she attributed it to ghosts... we used to think we lived in a haunted house. Now we've realized that about 2/3 of our 'haunted' experiences are more easily explained by DID, lol. Actually, I'm not sure if that's funny or sad, that her denial was so strong it was easier for her to believe our house was haunted...

Violet (1)

I'd go with funny. Always better to laugh about something than to cry about it...