Irritable and I don’t know what else

Cranky pointy pissy

Therapist left and referred me to colleague-shes young and looks like a kid. How the hell am I supposed to talk to her about serious disgusting debilitating trauma ?
She has this high pitched faux nurturing tone that I don’t trust. Sat with arms and legs crossed -either she was blocking me out or cold.
Complimented me on my “beautiful bracelets “. Is this a way to develop rapport?
###$

we hear you

we had a similar situation with the new psych doc not that long ago. dropped him.
intuition can be very accurate here.
what made your old T think that she would be a good choice? sometimes understanding that could help to make it work better...

That she worked a lot with kids prior to joining that practice . Has worked with DID adults.
He views her as nurturing and warm .
He thinks she’s “ solid”.
I’ll give it some time.

It feels like she’d be blown away by my sharing some of the really real stuff that happened . Also , when I cried about something felt disconnected like she didn’t believe me or she didn’t get it or felt I was exaggerating.
Who knows .

you feeling disconnected is real while you can't read her mind, so assuming that she didnt get it or whatever is not going to help (unless the thought leads you to ask her)

it seems like she is different from your old T (of course, she is a different person!) and that alone can feel disappointing and strange and not like what we wanted...
for us it was hard when the male doc left, we had to work with a female we could have a professional and distant relationship with. then she left and there was another male doc. we somehow had hope that he would be like the last one we attached to. and he wasnt. at all. that was terrible to experience...

maybe she is a more introverted type and needs some time to warm up with people. we are like that. it doesnt mean we are cold.
hope that helps. sorry if I sound weird. not feeling well today. maybe i shouldnt try to answer stuff today...

It’s ok-I appreciate the feedback .
I may say something next time or when it happens again . Hard to interrupt self to say “ hey-you with me?” Or even worse “ are you judging me?” She’s not cold but it felt judgmental. But who knows ?
And yes I’m used to him. For years and years I saw him . He a little older than me ( by a year) so there's that.
I’ll give it some time .
Not thrilled but will see what happens .
Crappy situation when I’m grieving and sad and that can’t be my focus . One good thing is I saw a T I know better on my way out and he got how I feel ( he’s booked and can’t take another person to see).
Hope you feel better .

LadySlippers wrote:One good thing is I saw a T I know better on my way out and he got how I feel ( he’s booked and can’t take another person to see).

Can you ask to be on that T's waiting list?

your intuition is very important......

SamsLand wrote:

LadySlippers wrote:One good thing is I saw a T I know better on my way out and he got how I feel ( he’s booked and can’t take another person to see).

Can you ask to be on that T's waiting list?

your intuition is very important......

That's a good idea! Also, why can't the grieving and being sad be the focus? It seems to me that staying in the here and now with this therapist might be helpful--stopping to ask if she is understanding you, letting her know your first impressions of her. Letting her know how hard it is for you to start seeing a new therapist after your good experience with the last one. Maybe even print out both of your posts in this thread and see what she thinks of them?

If your old T thought she was solid, experienced, nurturing and warm, then that has to count for something.

Thanks Samsland -
I never thought of the waiting list idea. And my intuition is important but not sure if my pain and feeling loss /wanting him back is interfering with intuition or my trusting it.
Thankyou to the Gang ( is that ok way to address you)?
I did share some grief with her but also that morning had potential vet emergency and conflict with son that hijacked my focus . Its important to be open about how hard this is and share my impressions as well. I’m committed to giving it a go for a bit and yeah , his impression / thoughts of her do count for something. We’ll see.
Wish it felt like a good fit from the start but maybe grow into it?