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Is this "normal"?

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Is this "normal"?

Postby pixstix » Mon Nov 20, 2017 12:55 am

My partner has DID. I've met the majority of his alters, and been aware of his switches no matter how small. About a month ago, the youngest alter (he only has one child alter) decided he was fed up with all of the other ones fighting and gathered them up and decided to "stuff them into his backpack" in his own words, and they've stayed there ever since. This alter told me that it was because the others were all fighting and being nasty to my partner, which was making him depressed and paranoid, which in turn was affecting me and that wasn't okay. So he did something about it.
Partner doesn't have access to those other alters anymore, can't communicate with them at all, and has no idea where they went even though the child alter can and tells him that they're all fine and explained that they are stuffed into his backpack.
I just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? I feel like my partner has lost some expressions of himself, and I know he's had some worries about it and whether it's normal to have alters that can be "put away", I guess, for lack of better words.
Any advice would be super appreciated, thanks :)
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Re: Is this "normal"?

Postby MakersDozn » Mon Nov 20, 2017 1:26 am

Hi,

We're sorry that you and your partner are going through this. Does your partner have a therapist?

For what it's worth, system members who are unavailable, either by their own doing or by someone else inside, generally don't stay unavailable forever. In the meantime, just listening to your partner and his little, validating their feelings and developing their trust, can help.

Hoping that things get better soon.

MDs
Body cis ♀ (1962). Realized 1996 that we're multiple. System of 47, all cis: 42 ♀, 5 ♂; 17 littles (0-7+), 9 middles (8-11+), 14 teens (12-17+), 5 bigs (18+), + formless yin/yang.

Notable: Charity 25 (oldest), Deborah 23, Drew 23f, Mary 23, Rachel 23, Laura 17.5, Allegra 17, Cass 17, shawn 16f.
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Re: Is this "normal"?

Postby pixstix » Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:01 am

Thanks so much for your input.

He doesn't have a therapist (he saw one throughout his entire childhood/teen years) and refuses to go back now. He generally copes well on his own but this is something completely new to both of us.
BP 1 and other fun stuff.
pixstix
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Posts: 31
Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2017 11:16 am
Local time: Sun Aug 10, 2025 9:54 pm
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