interacting with other dissociators

Besides group forums, have you interacted with other dissociators on the phone, texting or in person? Was it beneficial?

For the record, I am a man with mostly male alters. I have two cross gender female alters, one adult (comforter) and one child. I am back in twice weekly therapy after a 12 year break.

I remember connecting with two women dissociators who I met on a different psych forum many years ago. The first, we only interacted via telephone and I believe we both found it beneficial. It was my first time speaking with another dissociator's child alter. It was new and a little scary but eye opening and somewhat helpful in accepting my own dx and alters.

I met the other in person while on travel 1000 miles from home. I mentioned I would be in her city for a few days visiting a relative and we made plans to get together at a children's museum where they had tens or hundreds of thousands of Lego blocks and let our little ones play together. All four of us (two adults and two littles) had a wonderful time together letting our little ones play together with the Lego blocks and that day is one of my fondest memories. It was one of the best days of my life. I believe one thing we both had in our favor for a beneficial meeting is that we had both been in therapy for awhile and neither of us was in crisis.

we used to talk with another system on the phone. when we both had a time of crisis we stopped and never picked it up again.
we text with someone with OSDD, mostly about PTSD and dissociation related topics, less about parts.
we met a system that was in denial and it was hell for all of us. we both went into a suicidal crisis triggered by this encounter.
there is a lot of written interaction online, but we really try to stay away from seriously unstable systems in denial. that seems to be more than we can handle.

I've only spoken to a few people over the internet who have DID. One turned out to be faking however. So... one or two people who have it? Possibly just one. We speak sometimes and I hope he knows i'm always there for him.

Yea surly I meet one, via phone my hometown actually. She helps me inside when ever I go home just as friend should doo kind of as a segway draw bridge kind of into our inner workings. She has a deeper level of understanding for us on some topics. It can be rewarding! We were in some ways understanding and both if not for the right amount of practice one of our alters could disrupt being dissociated. I guess that why we practice understand especially if questioned but as you know you never know what the environment will give you we aren't quiet expecting . I think that holds true as because we are going inner world rooms, until it is heard by the choosen isn't watching with fragmented eyes like on Pixels although you probably could think of it in that way, for a great explanantion.

Communicating with compatible systems have been very valuable. The first self-aware multiple I met in person was Una from this board. It was fascinating, enjoyable, and at times confusing. The second in-person was a teen I knew for a couple years via this board. I hired him as a live-in personal assistant and then a few years later adopted him.

My son's and my littles have interacted many times, mostly playing, coloring or watching cartoons, and yes, these were some of the most wonderful, poignant experiences I've ever had. Even being present and aware when young alters who are no longer traumatized and just going about their business is delightful in a way I never could have imagined before I knew about the DID. The wistful yearning "oh, to be a kid again" becomes reality right before my eyes.

birdsong87 wrote:we met a system that was in denial and it was hell for all of us. we both went into a suicidal crisis triggered by this encounter.

Hmm, we may have entered a breakdown several years ago due to interacting with a dissociative person we were unable to avoid. They were also dishonest, manipulative, and sometimes mean so those were big triggers in any case. Systems who are often unpleasant and actively in denial are no longer so disturbing, since we know what's going on.

Our parents were dissociative abusers so I will probably always be wary of meeting others with DID. But we've been in relationships of sorts with people who, in hindsight, appear to have been dissociative so we know it can be rewarding as well.

Anyone who appears dissociative and whose in-the-world presentation is confused, hurt or vulnerable but still pleasant cause us to engage more than normal. Somebody works hard to make us generate safety and gentleness. We did this before the hosts were aware of the DID and it continues a pattern from childhood.

ColonelCatlover wrote:For the record, I am a man with mostly male alters. I have two cross gender female alters, one adult (comforter) and one child.

Heh, all that is accurate for my system as well.

Johnny-Jack wrote:The first self-aware multiple I met in person was Una from this board. It was fascinating, enjoyable, and at times confusing.

I am curious about the confusing part. Can you say more about that?

My personal crisis that led to diagnosis and treatment was provoked by an encounter with another multiple. I was very triggered and I think he was too. He seems to be in denial even now.

One reason I was keen to meet Johnny-Jack in person was to compare and contrast him with this other multiple. Do they have a similar "DID" vibe and other signs in common? Yes! Does the same kind of interpersonal weirdness result? No. So the above triggering was not due to the DID per se.

I have now met several men with DID and typically with each one I experience a distinct visual hallucination of some kind. On several occasions the above triggery man had a brilliant gold aura. Another sometimes had a smoky black aura. A third morphed into an inflated leering clown figure. That was bizarre and scary! But Johnny-Jack stayed pretty much himself throughout.

My husband does not have DID but he certainly does dissociate. (Many, many people dissociate.) I used to think his symptoms did not amount to a disorder but over time his symptom inventory has grown so much, and there have been times when it has definitely impaired his functioning, that now I am not so sure.

Una+ wrote:

Johnny-Jack wrote:The first self-aware multiple I met in person was Una from this board. It was fascinating, enjoyable, and at times confusing.

I am curious about the confusing part. Can you say more about that?

I think scattering is a more apt word. As I recall, there was a spectrum of simultaneous reactions underneath that we weren't used to. Johnny was interacting on the surface, socializing. That aspect was really normal, almost routine, though the topic -- you're DID, I'm DID, let's compare notes -- was not.

Johnny jumping right in to talk with someone we'd never met in person about dense psychological issues, including revealing details of our own, was oddly no big deal, a normal part of his repertoire.

But underneath it was as if there were buzzing or whispering inside, excitement along the lines of "this one is like us!" There was some comparing you to the dissociative people (not diagnosed but sensed in hindsight by our system) we knew before we knew about multiplicity. So we had positive experiences of dissociatives -- kinship to and caretaking of people we'd been close to and trusted (at least not to harm us) and negative -- danger from our parents and others.

Yes, interacting with another multiple whose system is activated can bring multiple internal states to the surface or near the surface. The sensation of multiple states surfacing at once is like nothing else. Effervescence? It can be frightening and potentially unsafe for either or both parties. In this situation I work to maintain (how to describe it?) a seamless or at least smooth surface so that I and the other person do not both enter a revolving door crisis. I try for containment or controlled release. Now that I have better internal communication I try to relax the containment but keep it at the level of a co-consciousness crisis. I do not want to lose time.

DID Forum: Revolving Door

It was our meeting and talking with a friend with OSDD which helped us to begin to accept our multiplicity!

My two best friends are multiple too. One is DID-like, the other one is OSDD-like (like us).
We met on the internet, and talk on Skype. It's... different, in a good way. Even if our systems come from different trauma, we lived quite similar things, and... we understand each other.
Most of the time, we don't have to explain why we react this way, or this other way. They understand.

But when we met IRL, it was quite confusing for me (and for them too I bet) at first. When one of us was switching or being co-present, the two others were able to sense it. No one could hide or play pretend. Well, we could, but the others knew it wasn't the host
It was clearly weird the first two or three days. And it lead to a night were everyone was switching or being co-present because of the others doing the same, and everyone wanted to be a part of the "party" or feel kind of triggered by the two others. What a messy night... we were so carefull about not hurting anyone ! But after that, everyone were more comfortable, it didn't feel weird anymore and we enjoyed a lot being all together.

But it wasn't easy to reach that point. Being three dissociative people with trauma make the "bonding" part much more difficult. At the very begining, one of my friend was a trigger for me and my system, 'cause they switched a lot and the lack of stability made us feel inconfortable, and the second one is really high-sensitive and we had to learn to be really carefull with her and her system.
It took us almost two years to begin to learn how to work together. But it totally worth it.