How old where you when you alters came out

Created? Starting in utero, probably through our teens. Age of creation is not necessarily the age of the individual member.

Feeling like different people? Freshman in college. Didn't know why we felt that way, though. Attributed it to suggestibility.

Finally realized we were multiple? 1996, body age 34, when we met other multiples online.

MDs

fmkeylock wrote:younger they are DX the more severe it is.

With DID, like any developmental delay, generally the earlier the diagnosis the better the prognosis.

fmkeylock wrote:Each layer has to be worked through in order to understand the complete story.

This makes sense ~ but so odd to me, that the layers of my sexual assault trauma came undone first... and the deepest, farthest core of trauma was from my mama... I am her "narcississtic supply." Apparently, my own mother damaged me worse than my abuser.

fmkeylock wrote:When the alters started to show themselves he also started to go into severe seizures where we would have to sternum rub him to get him to breath. He ended up in ICU for three days while they were trying to figure out what was going on. The entire time switching back and forth.

Out of curiosity... are you sure they were seizures and not body memories?
I thought my first few body memories were seizures, because my body would twist and contort, my chest would crush down almost flat and I could not breathe or inflate my lungs at all, I couldn't move, like I was paralyzed, and it would last several minutes and then slowly I'd start to be able to move my arms, sluggishly at first, like my muscles were as heavy as cement... and then the vomiting starts.

It turns out this was a body memory of my trauma, that involved the tonic immobility I experienced. My body goes back into the postures it was put in, and my muscles go paralyzed from my Fight/Flight/Freeze Response (tonic immobility). It was very scary when I didn't know what it was or why it was happening... less scary the next few times after I knew what it was.

I wish you the best of luck in unravelling the mystery together with your son ~ you're such a great, supportive mom ~ keep up the great work!

i can recall dissociating as far back as 5 years old (though it likely started earlier in general) and knowing about some of the others (mostly adult-like parts) between then and 9 when other ones started to emerge. but it was more in my teens and early 20s that more were around.

it is kind of confusing trying to piece together an actual cohesive timeline of which ones i was aware of at what time because a lot of it was a confusing mess with a lot of blending of them and me. for years, i didn't know who i was outside of them but also wasn't quite sure who or what they were for sure. the dissociation was so severe and just left things chaotic and messy.

my system has always been covert, and no one ever knew about them when i was growing up. even now, i can have shifts so subtle that in the moment i don't know it happened until a bit later, so it is hard to know a lot when dissociation is involved since it affects memory.

As far as we remember (remember being the key word. We remember kindergarten, and nothing before or after until about 5th grade, with the exception of a few fuzzy third-person memories), we got our first alter at around 4 or 5 years old. Our main protector was the first alter we remember having because we vaguely remember playing with an "imaginary friend" named Luke who would tell us to "pretend" to be him when we were scared or uncomfortable and he'd protect us. All of our first alters (as far as we know/remember) were much older than us. Luke was probably 10 when he first showed up, the next alter who showed up (we think) was 17 or 18ish.

We're sure alters hid for a while from us until they were needed. Our main protector came out first because we felt that we needed protection. Then, as we got into kindergarten and really needed to talk to people, which terrified us, a more confident and outgoing personality showed up to help us. Our traumatized alters didn't come out until, probably, 6th grade. I'm guessing because I don't actually know, but that's when we started having horrible panic attacks and body memories that we remember feeling just like the ones some of our abused alters have.

But, yeah. First alters came around 4 years old. We first started feeling like different people and like we weren't fully in control of our behavior when we were about 14... Figured out that we were a multiple at about 17, but by that point we already knew we dissociated because we have a really bad problem with derealization and depersonalization, we just didn't know we also have alters.

crackerjack wrote:

fmkeylock wrote:Each layer has to be worked through in order to understand the complete story.

Out of curiosity... are you sure they were seizures and not body memories?
I thought my first few body memories were seizures, because my body would twist and contort, my chest would crush down almost flat and I could not breathe or inflate my lungs at all, I couldn't move, like I was paralyzed, and it would last several minutes and then slowly I'd start to be able to move my arms, sluggishly at first, like my muscles were as heavy as cement... and then the vomiting starts.

It turns out this was a body memory of my trauma, that involved the tonic immobility I experienced. My body goes back into the postures it was put in, and my muscles go paralyzed from my Fight/Flight/Freeze Response (tonic immobility). It was very scary when I didn't know what it was or why it was happening... less scary the next few times after I knew what it was.

I would agree with that, I have a book called. "The body keeps the score" He was choked out by the umbilical cord when he was born and not breathing. That moment has been imprinted in his mind and during times of distress birth trauma can come out in such form. Sorry I did not clarify, he be DX with conversion disorder

-- Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:48 pm --

Una+ wrote:

fmkeylock wrote: n

fmkeylock wrote:So from what you have said gives me a better idea of long term treatment/success.......It seems as with anything any one deals with it rears itself the hardest during crisis. So key is now to keep his states together as much as we can and handle stress/crisis as we have many years still for his brain to develop.

Some older readers may experience a moment of despair, reading this. Is it too late for them? Is their prognosis poor? Are their brains all done developing? No! Even those of us diagnosed in our 50's, 60's, 70's can be helped by therapy and improve our functioning. Prognosis: excellent. And treatment does not always involve unpacking and working through trauma. It is for each of us to develop our own treatment plan, to meet our own needs.

You are right, I did not mean this way, it was written in a very insensitive way, for that I am sorry.

MakersDozn wrote:Created? Starting in utero, probably through our teens. Age of creation is not necessarily the age of the individual member. MDs

I had a very traumatic pregnancy. I will not go into details but studies have shown that such trauma can be passed onto the baby in utero both chemically and through the vibes of the mother.

fmkeylock wrote:

MakersDozn wrote:Created? Starting in utero, probably through our teens. Age of creation is not necessarily the age of the individual member. MDs

I had a very traumatic pregnancy. I will not go into details but studies have shown that such trauma can be passed onto the baby in utero both chemically and through the vibes of the mother.

Yes, we read some articles online that validated this belief. We felt validated as well.

We're sorry that your pregnancy was traumatic.

MDs

Thanks for all the amazing replies it helps a great deal and gives me further insight. I will truly analyze every response to gain further knowledge about DID. But I clearly understand that each person is unique in their experiences as they go through this journey of healing and understanding of themselves.

I like how already Satan has morphed into Satin. That sounds very promising.