Anybody else switching many times a day?

I feel like I will be never able to work or you know, doing big plans for future because "somebody else" comes around and are not interested doing what I am interested doing.... I feel like my whole life / lives are stolen by myself's. I know there are many DID persons who has a career and all but I feel loser and frustrated. Any hope for me or my kind of DID persons? How I could get more control of switching ~ taking turns of who is out and when, I have heard it is possible. How to please everyone? How to make it work? I have few books about did and working with alters but I feel like they don't go so deep within that topic. Thanks again.

-Moonlight

You need to establish a good communication, then you can talk about it and decide rules for how to please everyone and live your life together.
Also, to create a house or similar place for the small ones, to play in when they arent out , is also a very good thing for that.
https://www.discussingdissociation.com/ ... unication/

To answer your titular question, yes, we switch many times a day. However, it creates no problem for us. We have co-consciousness, excellent communication, a mutual interest in and concern for outside affairs, and a simple job any one of us can do (now that we're used to it). I guess that makes us one of those legendary systems you've only head of, but we do exist.

Like Teddybear said, it all begins with communication. Our communication started eight months ago and we only became confident in our ability to work after five months. We've held the same part-time job for three months now. It's just housekeeping, but, like I said, anyone can do it so we don't have to bar people from coming out during our shift.

If you need advice, let us know.

Im co-conscious also but I do sometimes or someone in our group are losing time. It's complicated. We have periods whem we are not communicating much or I feel like "they are not there anymore" and I sometimes actually enjoy that quiet, calm period. But I miss them and they come back soon again. It feel a lot of work to get things running smooth, I know it's possible. I know I have been lazy being in touch with everyone I still live in denial sometimes and try to "forget them" and they get upset.

-Moonlight

Moonlight,

Maybe you could decrease the time between "me time" and "us time" and so forth. That would get you in touch with the others more frequently and you'd still get your time alone and then you won't feel like you need it so much.

To get out of the denial stage, you could make a list of everything that convinces you that the others are there.

Hope that helps.

work can be a real booger for us. we have an alter who actually enjoys our job and relishes in doing it, and connecting with customers, etc. but after a certain point, we get tired because of physical body aches and just want to stop.

it's sort of about learning over time that you can do it, by doing it. ifff you want to/are able; if not, that is not a failure on your part. we used to think that it was, when we had to call off because of the inability to fathom going to work. we started improving it by

-giving ourselfves time to get there without rushing. this is a Big thing. rushing and leaving at the last minute to go to work was killing our reputation with work; being late a lot. we give a nice cushion to ourselves for travel time, settling into work once we get there, etc.

-being hydrated/fed for work. hunger drives us to a dissociative state where we do not give any cares and could feasibly just walk out. preventing that through taking breaks (being open with manager; not about DID, but about how hunger makes us absolutely exhausted; she's understanding)

-rest after work. I (L) would love to just keep going and going, and actually have to learn how to rest; it's part of learning how to cope with increased energy levels since i came onto the scene of this system in an open sense. if we don't rest, we get more tired.

the switching thing. I take the helm when we work. Tish is a stable resting one, and we keep in contact with them when we might feel that we are tired, or hungry/can't eat that second. this helps a lot; they remind us that soon we will be home, able to do whatever we want.

giving your alters something to do while you work could help too. or offering them the reward later of doing system-approved fun things that they love. if you have the $ eventually, buying them things can help too; not like bribery, not even a reward so much; like, see, this job makes us able to afford these nice things that we would not get if we stopped working.

ifff we find a switch happening (to whoever; we have unknown alters that pop up and sometimes even introjects that spontaneously pop in; this offften happens if a really uninhibited-vocally customer comes in; it's like we want to match their behavior in a way; we want to stomp around and yell things out like they are.) we fight the urge to do that by remaining focused on work tasks, while also not being unfriendly or ignoring them. we practice what we think of as 'observation without incorporation;' this helps because we can observe and interact with that other-bodied person without absorbing their behaviors. we do soemtimes mirror their behaviors for short times, to aid in communication; a really laid-back customer can crack jokes and we can crack them back appropriately; a really stoic and quiet customer, we match with a quiet demeanor and no frivolous talk.

being a system rather than a singleton actually helps us at work (it is retail) in these ways. recognizing when you might feel like going into a tangent or bad work behavior is handy; we sometimes go into the restroom for a few minutes to re-collect ourselves, or switch a difficult customer to another person and take on customers who might be having a tough time with another coworker to help too; the fresh perspective often diffuses their issues.

you have to work as a team to common goals.

start with basic goals like stay safe. keep the body safe.
then keep a job.
of you can establish safety and stability. because everyone agrees it is worth working to achieve. then you mix in the hobbies and "me" times.

safety first.
self care.
income.
hobbies.


gotta work together to achieve common goals. communication and teamwork. just like a football team. it takes everybody doing their roles together to make it to the end zone.

BeccaBee wrote:you have to work as a team to common goals.

start with basic goals like stay safe. keep the body safe.
then keep a job.
of you can establish safety and stability. because everyone agrees it is worth working to achieve. then you mix in the hobbies and "me" times.

safety first.
self care.
income.
hobbies.


gotta work together to achieve common goals. communication and teamwork. just like a football team. it takes everybody doing their roles together to make it to the end zone.

Excellent Post.

I was 6.5 when my first things happened to me. My dad was an ob/gym- I was shredded and septic, so he pieced me together.
I recently had a ob/gyn appt I made myself go to. I have good insurance as an adult. I had a private doctor. Very quiet, dim lights, excellent credentials, cloth gown and drape. Thought I should get a full physical because I am older now. I disassociated during Pap smear, (no breast or other exam), and became some sort of slick marketing exec/used car sales lady and just talked and escaped out of the rest of the exam and the building.
So I am getting memories back. Too many since. I have been fragmenting again. I am looking for ways to kill myself now. I can't stand the ickiness. I can't stop remembering things now. I can't stand it.

I don't understand why when an alter is called out via and external influence why there isn't a okay I'll help out at work and review the experiences later. It is like no one keeps a memory everybody needs to recite the job responsibilities just because external influence got you out front. We switch many times per day I get tired of saying out loud what to do where was the last one left off at . I think this means we are really fragmented with several alters. When alters get near people the constant chatter of I know you was set up. Why you wanna have that convo with strangers instead of holding that back into whomever it is speaking to from the past. Why does it get close to the front! He/they ain't going to hear if it ain't spoke from the running dialouge we with the head on our shoulders are the only ones to hear it. The little bits that is output is merely bait to provoke switches like I said earlier. Ours use the excuse of you will see doing things that skipped what is shared just to the show the other one off because are scared to share what the functions are. They want to scold before getting the one out front who has the answers like at a mental status exam what fridge is it we were just here 30 minutes ago. I'm tired of useless usages of hands the wrong one the password retypes the calls that aint reaping the benefits not knowing what floor we are on. Why can't the same crew show up to work it is almost like we learning several crews daily what was said usless convo they will make you want to retain verbatim everything and learn on the first try because we never have time to heal too too sensitive