Estranged friend probably ritually abused *trigger warning*

I have a friend who I am 99% sure is being ritually abused. Some problems are that he has cut me out of his life, supposedly for my own safety, according to his sister, who says his family is dangerous towards me. Also, my family thinks he is just a jerk and they don't like him because they say he is weird and that I should just forget about him. But I am worried about him and I care about him and I want him back in my life.

A lot of times when he would act jerky - which was not often - he would seem very different from his normal self. I think this may have been due to dissociation or multiple personality disorder.

I want to know how to get back in touch with him, and, if that is not possible now, I want to talk to someone who believes in ritual abuse so they can help me heal from the ordeal with him in the meantime.

i wasnt sure if i should answer because this is probably not what you want to hear.
my personal opinion
let him go.
if this is ritual abuse and he is with his family they are probably involved and he is probably not in a condition to receive help. you cant help someone against their will. maybe you should respect that.
even if you could somehow get him out of there, things are way more complicated and you wont be able to help him against programming and abuser-loyal parts of him. radical interventions might actually kill him faster than you think.
when he is ready he will find the way to a T.
getting involved in this is dangerous on a level that makes romatic bravery look like foolishness.

if there is any emotional pain you have suffered from all this please see a therapist about it. we are here to support people but we cant help them heal.

if you are still looking for information you could try www.endritualabuse.org. its run by a T and has more reliable information

I know what you're saying. I also don't want to put him or myself in danger. When I say I don't want to give up on him, I don't mean go save him necessarily. I just mean I don't want to permanently write him out of my life no matter what. If he's ever ready to get back in contact with me, I want to be allowed to do that.

Also, both his sister and his friend said something strange about him. They said that maybe he'll come back into my life again in a few years.

Is there any way I could leave ritual abuse info in his City or neighborhood or place of work? Anonymously? I've already been doing that in my own City. I'd also like for actual ritual abuse victims to help me author these, so I don't say anything triggering, and so I can say the perfect right things to help them out.

Another thing that makes this hard is that people online were convincing me my friend was evil - maybe they were even in the cult - and trying to trick me - and I ended up complaining about him to his boss. But I don't know if he heard about the complaints.

His sister said that his father killed people, and that the relatives of people he killed want to kill my friend. So my friend has two family members, whatever that means, around him at all times, even at work.

I am very sad because I love my friend so much, and because I don't want him to get hurt. I also just wish I could tell him something, that I care about him, and I'm not angry at him anymore, and have him get the message, but not make him respond. That way maybe it would be safe. But may not be able to work.

Another thing that is hard is that I think he has Alters that are program to be emotionally hurtful to others. He is very nice 99% of the time, but sometimes those weird Alters come out. If I were to want to hang out with him again long time, I would wanted to be in counseling. He is already in and out of counseling, but I don't know if he is in with the right person, or if the person he is in counseling with maybe is making it worse. Sometimes cults or family members are the counselors, and they suck you back in.

If I can't contact him directly, would it be okay if I hung up anonymously written ritual abuse pamphlets in his City? He would see them, and not know they were from me, and in addition, other people would be helped too.

Hi,

Welcome to the forum. We'd like to say that we agree with what Asti said about staying away from your friend.

We do not have a history of RA, but we've known many who have. If your friend says that you're in danger if you associate with him, then you're in danger.

Stay safe. It's okay to educate yourself. You may read things that are very upsetting. Know your own limits. And take care.

MDs

Thank you for responding. The sad thing is not knowing how to help him.

But another horrible thought I've had is that he may be bad himself. He does display "Cluster B" personality disorder traits, but I can't tell enough to make an assumption. He did seem to have compassion but is that fake?

Also, I agree with staying away from him regardless. I just wish I had someone to talk to about this whole experience with him. It's been traumatizing and my family doesn't get it.

Hi there, I am a "support person" (friend to someone who has DID). I was with him for a long time. I do not have experience with the abuse you describe and I think it would be difficult for someone who has to come forward. Many of these people have programming that otherwise they are not aware of. And that their system prevents them from remembering most of the time.

My SO also left me, and I would have done anything to help him and to have him come back. The first lesson here is that you CANNOT fix him, and you cannot help him unless he WANTS to be helped. And then you can only support him. I know how hard it is to see someone you care about in danger. And you feel helpless. Boy, I know exactly how this feels.

Second, if he wants to leave you need to let him go. Let him go.

In a DID system there are many...some will like you, and some will not. Some are very nice to you and others can't get away from you fast enough. That is what untreated DID looks like. So, if this man really has DID, that nice behavior wasn't fake. And there are ones that want to sabotage your friendship as well. They are not "weird" alters...they are how they are and they all have a reason they are there. Each one deserves respect, and you must respect their wishes (unless, of course, they are putting

Those people that told you he may come back into your life are correct. Sometimes alters will switch around, and switch back, and may want to rekindle a friendship with you. It is very important that you do NOT wait on this. This could be months. Years. Never. You need to get on with your life. Should he contact you at some future point, you can't reassess then.

I wish you the best of luck. I know it's tough, and a unique situation that you just can't talk to anyone about.

-- Thu Mar 09, 2017 6:46 pm --

**(unless, of course, they are putting you in harm's way)** sorry I posted before I finished that sentence!