Are you a victim of mind control?

Johnny Jack you are so brave for finding the courage to share that with us. Thank you so much. From reading your post, it makes me even more convinced that these "groups" have blue prints they just replicate all over the word.

My abuser & his friends were/are part of a paedophile group involved in child trafficking & exploitation. My first programmers were not involved in sex trafficking as far as I am aware.

My abuser also had at least one friend in the police. One time abuser was more or less caught by an outsider abusing me. This outsider called the police. When the two policeman turned up, I recognized one of them from another ghastly event. He was a rank above my abuser. I clammed HP, recanted to the outsider & left quickly with abuser. It's no wonder we felt silenced.

Another time police came to our home to question my mother & abuser (my sibling had ran away & reported something to police). This police man Sat at our dining table questioning me (in front of my parents) about my siblings claims. I had no choice other then to say sibling was lying. As policeman was leaving I slipped him a tiny note I'd written on a corner of a piece of paper. All the note said was "help me".

Rather then keeping it to himself or helping like I preyed he would, he immediately questioned my parents about it. All eyes were on me to explain. What happened after that is hazy but I believe I denied any knowledge of the note & was punished after policeman left anyway.

Any time I opened my mouth (or thought about it) the punishments got worse & worse. You quickly learn that silence is the better option.

I don't remember black board classrooms as stuff. All training was in the field, or on paper, or computers, or in the sheds, or in the dark..

This makes me so sad, not being able to be helped by those you hope will be able to rescue you. A child making the right choice to report and divulge and it turning out even worse. It can destroy your soul if you let it. We didn't!

We have journaled about how Jack thought out various ways to try to kill the father after Jonathan learned he was abusing the younger sister. Every scenario turned out with us dead, the little sister alone and defenseless, and both parents getting away with it, the mother covering for the father.

The father described in detail and demonstrated marine training for several ways to "kill the enemy" extremely quickly in hand-to-hand combat. And he and I played hand games showing me how much faster his response times were than mine. Place your hands palm-to-palm with opponent's hands, try slapping hands above before they can be yanked away. I used to think these were an innocent game between father and son -- even though they hurt! -- but I now see it as a way to instill fear and control.

Even as I write this, I feel myself, the host, trying to tell myself it wasn't that bad, like the vast majority of the time things were normal and good. As if abuse taking up only 5% of my waking hours should excuse the abuse in any way. It discounts the manipulation and control scattered throughout the other 95%.

Johnny-Jack wrote: Place your hands palm-to-palm with opponent's hands, try slapping hands above before they can be yanked away. I used to think these were an innocent game between father and son -- even though they hurt! -- but I now see it as a way to instill fear and control.

It reminded me of something- a blurry conversation about safety in the home against intruders. I suggested I could defend myself using karate. Stepdad said he could pick me up and throw me into the wall. He was right. He was just stressing the importance of locking the door.

Crackerjack,

Aww sooo brave to share, how do you cope? I just anticipate new alter, like a job January 2017 it is a way of life going to get new alters that emerged really quickly. I'm glad I found someone similar! I think those bad therapist involved was intentional not using their degrees and just assumed that we needed something like this without our permission. Too much too soon, like too many men, too overwhelmed can make the situation worse. That keeps us driven always reminding ourselves on how to coach, speak, and sharing insider praying everyone gets it at every switch, so that there is less embarrassment and humiliation for those that have it already or just less to wonder about from those that keep their boundaries. At the same time, though that is why we are on disability. I just make sure it is not really bad gaping symptoms especially when I know that olders are here why does it take being shared in that way also those new ones are out from a job I just previously finished.