Integration fears

NicS wrote:We have only recently begun the conversation with our therapist, and despite her reassurances, our own research and what we've heard so far is kind of scary. I have never heard of cooperation, what is it?

am4kids answered your question, so we'll only add one thing. We were concerned because we've known people who have been steered toward integration by their therapist when it was not necessarily what they themselves wanted or needed. As long as we do what's really right for us, that's what matters.

Mary, Allegra, and others

-- Fri Dec 12, 2014 6:27 pm --

Trigger Warning for opinion on "disorder"

am4kds wrote:One of the processes we are currently working on is developing a core belief system. Something that shows our ideas and beliefs that all or most of us feel deeply about. It is long-term...In the end the hope is that while each of us will have our different likes and dislikes about little things, have different hobbies or activities, we will present a unified person in what is really important to us. I have actually never read about this in any literature, but think it is brilliant.

This is what we have always wanted for our system, from day one, when we realized eighteen years ago that we were multiple. It's true that this sort of idea isn't common in literature. For one thing, much of the old literature (1) was written by clinicians rather than by multiples themselves; (2) presents integration as the only appropriate outcome; and (3) presumes that being multiple is a always a disorder that needs to be "cured" rather than healing the pain and trauma that caused the system to form in the first place.

We've always wanted to be who we are. In as healthy a way as possible. And for us, this means embracing who we are so that we can thrive, individually and collectively.

End Trigger Warning

Charity, Mary, Allegra, and others

Those alters in my system who are integrated (fused) with the host alter have no need to switch out because we are not ever confined inside anymore. We are already out, all the time. That is what integration (fusion) is. As you know, having spent time with us, we are able to play and be silly and really live in the moment and at the same time be fully adult.

Una+ wrote:Those alters in my system who are integrated (fused) with the host alter have no need to switch out because we are not ever confined inside anymore. We are already out, all the time. That is what integration (fusion) is. As you know, having spent time with us, we are able to play and be silly and really live in the moment and at the same time be fully adult.

Bold not in original.

: )

I am new to this. It seems that many of you are not not wanting to integrate because you don't want your alters to get lost or disappear. I am feeling fairly certain that all of you would have to want to integrate for it to happen? Meaning you would have to agree. I know that all of my parts do want it very much. All my individual parts are all special and valued very much, we just know that it is the right thing for us. We are not scared of being lost. We know we will still be here. We think we will be better stronger and happier together.

I dont like the thought of integration either. Were pretty much individuals, people. Intergration scares us. When not hearing from the others, or when outside awareness I begin to worry. I know theyre not really gone and pop up and "losing" them, the thought makes me sad. Not everyone understands what it is. Some think its still somewhat similar to "dying". Lots of input and opinions on it. There are different levels of understanding. we have the main group and others that seem less around. Still suspect there are alterd we dont know about but are there. It also makes me/us highly uncomfortable. for example and this may be just very basic is someone in our system who likes to make coffee, to operate the device for some reason. I dont want to lose her.

Its just...confusing. Tear bringing.im also sure this post started with an alter.

Just our 2 cents. Its also an thought lately that swirls around. I want to get to know them better. Not integrate. There are also flashes of an few of us left in the end.
It mskes me want to bawl my eyes out. Its confusing for more then just "me".

Us/several.

LMWendy wrote:I am new to this. It seems that many of you are not not wanting to integrate because you don't want your alters to get lost or disappear. I am feeling fairly certain that all of you would have to want to integrate for it to happen? Meaning you would have to agree. I know that all of my parts do want it very much. All my individual parts are all special and valued very much, we just know that it is the right thing for us. We are not scared of being lost. We know we will still be here. We think we will be better stronger and happier together.

Yes, our understanding is that for integration to be successful, the entire system has to want it. If that's not the case, the integration probably won't last, or the integrated person will remain unhealthy in some way. We've known a number of situations where either of these has happened.

MDs