Support thread for parents with DID

Yeah, I also wonder about her.

Nondescript wrote:It seems awful that I am supposed to take care of real children while I'm like this. I realized a bad thing happened when this person was five my daughter's age. and bad things all the time before that. it reminds me too much. how can I be someone's parent and be strong and good in all the good ways? I wasn't good enough to stop it then what if it happens to these children?

Going to call a friend so I can feel better before the baby wakes up.

Your feeling is completely normal. Your daughter is close in age to when something bad happened.

Remember that right now, you are stronger, your body is taller, you are in a safe environment, and you are all a team working together to defend yourselves and your loved ones. Tell that to the little one. Hey, little one you're safe now, and you are protected.

Good idea, about calling your friend.

Sea

Nondescript wrote:Today I feel this floating anxiety and fear about going to pick my daughter up after school. I think it is because it's the first day back after a break, and it's cold, and I just feel off. For the first time in a while I'm having very disruptive dissociative sensations. I think when I feel like this--where my body feels unable to do tasks I know how to do and I feel like hiding--there must be a child part of me near.

It seems awful that I am supposed to take care of real children while I'm like this. I realized a bad thing happened when this person was five my daughter's age. and bad things all the time before that. it reminds me too much. how can I be someone's parent and be strong and good in all the good ways? I wasn't good enough to stop it then what if it happens to these children?

Be gentle with yourself. What does the child part need? What would help this child part feel safe and comfortable so that an older part may be able to come out? Some times, for me, it takes a 10 or 15 minute "time out". My littles have their own stuffies or blankets. We lay down and just rest with them. I talk to them and tell them they are safe, or visualize hugging them. Most of the time they go back inside and I or one of the other older parts will switch out.

Tonight I am sitting next to my daughter while she does her math homework. I am normally very good at math, but I cannot get my brain to work in any sort of math function tonight. It is like I have never heard of ratios and proportions before. She has already had one crying fit because she feels like it is impossible and I can't help her.I know somewhere/somehow I know how to do this math, it just isn't there tonight. Thankfully, I could at least pull up some video help for her and that has helped. It is so hard to parent these days that the dissociation feels all-encompassing. When everything feels like a huge mountain to climb. But, even singleton parents have their off days too.

You can protect and keep yourselves and your biological children safe because you are an adult now. You know things now. Life is different today than it was when you were 5. You are safe because you are not going to allow yourself or your children around the same people that hurt you. You are safe because it isn't just you, but ALL of you!

Thinking of you

Thank you, Seangel and am4kds. You posts are so kind and am4kds when you describe your situations they make me understand myself so much better. It is really hard for me to comfort myself in any functional ways. Anyway, go to write a separate post. I did call a mom friend which helped me get into grown up mode and go pick up my daughter from school.