Emotional alter coming out often

Lately, one of the alters that is very emotional has been close to the surface and out a lot. She's affecting the others as well, and not in a very good way. Certain things can be extremely triggering for her, or things can make her very emotional at times, and it affects anyone who is currently out as well. In the past, a different alter was closer to the surface resulting in not nearly as many emotional disturbances, and everyone was more or less at peace. But as a result of her being closer to the surface, the others are in a bit of distress. Is there anything I can do about this?

Also, I apologize if things don't quite make sense, I can't seem to focus properly at the moment. In such cases, whatever I say often turns into sentences that make little sense.

Have you tried talking to her? Maybe leave her a note to see when she gets emotional. I really don't know how to deal with emotions very much. We have some emotional ones in our system, so we know how that is. Try finding someone who is emotionally stronger to be with her and also guide her when she gets overwhelmed. I usually am the one to support the system, that is my job as a protector, but little things to make her comfortable may help.

Kyttin wrote:Have you tried talking to her? Maybe leave her a note to see when she gets emotional. I really don't know how to deal with emotions very much. We have some emotional ones in our system, so we know how that is. Try finding someone who is emotionally stronger to be with her and also guide her when she gets overwhelmed. I usually am the one to support the system, that is my job as a protector, but little things to make her comfortable may help.

Well, I know when she gets emotional, so that is not really a problem.
I will go by your advice and see how that works. Thank you.

Hi Aoki,

I see your posts around.

I was wondering if something changed in your system that made the emotional part come out more. Our system doesn't stay the same and the changes are usually about something outside changing or some inside thing happening. I don't know. Maybe she needs somebody to listen to her. Maybe she's trying to say something important but doesn't know how. Is there someone inside or outside that she's close to?

Iain

IainEtc wrote:Hi Aoki,

I see your posts around.

I was wondering if something changed in your system that made the emotional part come out more. Our system doesn't stay the same and the changes are usually about something outside changing or some inside thing happening. I don't know. Maybe she needs somebody to listen to her. Maybe she's trying to say something important but doesn't know how. Is there someone inside or outside that she's close to?

Iain

She started coming out more often after finding Psychforums.
I think she's been trying to find someone to be close to, but she seems to not have had much luck lately. Usually, another will come out then and mess things up a little, in some way or another, and the person thinks "I" am just shy with new people, or something similar, and then the friendship proceeds to be one of those where you really only joke around most of the time, things don't get too deep.

I think Iain and Kytton make good points. Communication is usually wise, however it happens -- talking together inside, the host (or anyone else) writing to an alter or speaking when they're in front.

For us, once someone in our system wakes up or becomes more active, there's almost no going backward. The way our system works, we've found it's most effective to let that alter into the body so they can express who they are and get out of the "stuckness" they're in while still inside, the sense that they may want to but can't change while inside. As we watch them interacting with the world, we learn more about who they are, what triggers them, what they like (or don't) and often why they are here. We can reassure them when they need it, which is healing because they feel less alone or lost.

As an example, Inky is terrified of street traffic (for good reason, based on memory flashes). Since he's been spending time in the body, he's not much less afraid of cars, but I think he does feel less alone and helpless. We can encourage him from inside ("okay, cross now, it's okay.") He ventured out on his own one night and crossed a street in order to meet NicS at the bus stop, which we've never done. He was willing to struggle with his own emotions because there was something he wanted to accomplish in the world.

Well, the above works in our system. I think the key is the communication and encouragement, which for us happens best when they're in front. This also builds trust among our parts. Ultimately, I guess we are the support we've been waiting for.

I hope things do get better for all of you.
We have a similar situation sometimes. Dolores is our emotional protector. Any tremendous saddening or stressfull situations she tends to absorb them and take all of the pain.

One way she feels better is if someone shows how much she is wrong an give her some love. Do you have someone on the inside or outside who could help with that?

Maybe showing some extra love and attention will help?