*Trigger warning - vague recollection of abuse*
As a child I was always a tomboy. I always played with the boys and wanted to be a boy, in spite of being very much a female child. My home life was perfect. I was adopted when I was 2 days old by a very loving couple who I have had the privilege to call my parents for all of my 23 years. My friend situation was slightly different. My friends were very rough with me, but honestly we were children, rough play is expected. It wasn't until one of them broke my ribs and made me promise not to tell that I ever really thought about it as more than child's play (though at the time I did not). These were my friends and the only friends I could have because I was 'odd' so I never really considered they were treating me badly. When I was 12, my cousin attempted to rape me. No one knew, I never told my parents, friends, anyone. Not for years. I think that event is what caused Sky and Kelsea. That is to say Kelsea always existed, she was me as a child, but at that time Sky came into being too. And as Sky I lived for many many years. I suppose my story is different it some ways, I have never experienced a lack of co-consciousness. I have always been aware of every other alter and their goings on when they are in control. Is that considered good or bad? After that event Sky took over for many years. He became my complete protector, suffering the increasingly more violent abuse of my friends over the years and guarding me from it. Then, at home, Kelsea would take back over and be happy and safe without having experienced the emotional pain Sky took.
*Trigger warning end*
From day one it was always very important to Sky that no one told about us, that we were different. Different got hit harder. Because of this no one, even now, knows about my DID except for two very close friends. He is very angry that I am posting and has elected completely not to talk and is sulking.
Around the same time as my cousin, when puberty hit, my empath abilities kicked in (for those who don't know here is the definition: a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.) The plain english version is that I suddenly and explosively got the ability to feel the emotions of everyone around me. Generally new empaths learn to shield their minds from the emotions of the world around them so they don't go nuts. Imagine going to the mall and collectively knowing the emotions of every single person there all at once, it can get intense. Sky took over learning how to block my mind from the craziness of hearing everyone but he only ever managed an 'on' 'off' switch type coping mechanism. Basically unless I am having a crappy day where I can't handle it, its always on. Even now Kelsea and I have no form of turning off hearing things. Sky is in control of that. At the same time he also worked out how to simply 'turn off' other emotions. On days when things get bad he will just 'turn off' my ability to feel that I'm sad or upset. He controls this and never prevents me from feeling anything unnecessarily but frequently uses it as a protection and coping method.
So fast forward to 8 years ago, the abuse had ended with the starting of highschool and Kelsea was firmly in control with Sky running all the background operations (And everyone was happy without you, says Kelsea). Kelsea met Robert, her husband to be. I cannot mark when exactly I came to exist just that I did. Kelsea's personality clashed with Roberts. She is a very dominate feminist and Robert is very stubborn and dominate as well. One day I woke up and I was me. I don't really know how it happened or what caused it but it did. I never told Robert about us nor did he really notice anything other than this personality is very submissive, wants to love and take care of instead of order around. It has been 8 years now and I have rarely not been in control. Robert resented me at times because, while I came as the correct age of my body and knowing everything from the other two, I still didn't know how to be yet. He would yell sometimes that he wanted a girlfriend not a child he had to raise and I would sit and listen till I overloaded then Sky would take over. I didn't come knowing how to control anger so I took it out like Sky showed me by hitting people and that always made Robert very mad. I didn't know how to talk about my feelings or express my emotions because no one ever really taught me. I graduated highschool and started college. I started out in film but because I have A.D.D and film is a lot of waiting I switched to child development. Through teaching children how to express their emotions I learned how to better talk about and express mine.
A few years ago, at the start of college, I met two very close friends of mine. They have proven to be the most nonjudgmental people I know. They have been largely supportive of my empathic skills as well as when I talked to them about my DID.
It is very strange to talk about us in this way. Sky is very angry with me for even mentioning us. He is tucked in the back of my mind giving off waves of anger. Is it normal that I can see him? I can't see Kelsea, but I can see Sky. Things are not always easy being completely co-conscious but I assume its a good thing. Everyone has opinions on so many things and I have to hear them all. At this point and time I feel like I'm as comfortably adjusted as possible though there are fights a lot. Kelsea is very dominate and a feminist and I'm in a submissive relationship. She yells at me a lot till Sky steps in and makes her stop. I have to be careful to keep Kelsea from coming out. Last year I lost two grandparents in as many months and she was out for almost 6 months while I grieved and almost ruined my relationship constantly fighting with Robert. She gets in trouble a lot because when she can't handle people being frustrating she comes out screaming and Robert doesn't like that. I don't scream when I'm angry I get quieter and he prefers that to yelling and being so loudly upset. In a lot of ways, Robert kind of created me to be how he wants and it makes me happy to be that for him.
I know many people who have DID they talk about their personalities are so different and they behave differently. Is that normal? Is there a normal with DID?
Whenever they come out there are subtle differences. Kelsea and Robert don't get along because she wont follow orders. Sky has some kind of PTSD from my childhood and is generally sure the world is out to kill him. He doesn't trust anyone and is quieter but he is always kind of there. Even when I'm me, I rake my fingers through my hair like he does when hes frustrated or rub chin stubble that isn't there and I have never learned how to sit 'like a lady'. And even when I'm me, I have feminist emotional responses to things even though I personally don't feel that way. Honestly everyone works for the good of keeping it all a secret because the general acceptance is the world wouldn't understand. That being said I'm telling people slowly. I plan on sending the link out to this post when it becomes active as a way to tell without telling. Its hard, I can't tell my parents, they still don't know about my cousin and honestly I'd like to keep it that way. It's been more than a decade and I don't feel that there is a reason to tell anyone now and break up the family.So that is me. Sorry that it is long. I didn't really ask questions I guess but I wanted to have the chance to write it all out.
even to those who are sulking and who are pretending not to be listening 
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