Who Can Help with this? Alters want more out time!

I think a decision for each person rests on how your system works, and what your living situation is. For me, I've found that since everyone began waking up a couple years ago, if I don't switch, I develop suicidal thoughts and feelings of hopelessness within a day or two until it's unbearable. It doesn't seem like it's anyone wanting to come forward and me suppressing that, it's more like me without other parts of me finds it hard to function. I can't replenish what I need by myself.

Often alters want to come out to do or see or watch something, so if we're not at work, and even sometimes if we are, I have no problem with it. We're all one person, just different aspects, if dissociated ones. I do know that good stuff spreads through the system when someone other than me the host is out. When someone first starts taking their turn up front, they're uncomfortable. The littles in particular had a hard time staying out for long upon returning because they were unsteady and scared. But over time, with experience of time in the body, it becomes more about other parts of us expressing themselves than being stuck with pain. Also, the more time in the body, the more accustomed they become with their size, age, body and our current reality. Not fully, but it's less triggering.

Another issue for us is that aspects of our full personality, the one that is natural to us all as a whole, are often strongest or even exclusively found in other parts. So confidence, toughness and more of a commitment to survival is held in Dan. When he's not participating, as he wasn't for a couple months recently, it mattered. Little John holds a resilience that is different from everyone else's and I've learned from it. Luke owns something like a joy of movement that I didn't even know was a thing, let alone a natural part of us. In my system, theses aspects of us cannot be fully explored or shared other than while spending time in the body, at least to my knowledge.

My life allows me to do this. I don't have family members around who would be unsettled by switching. And I live with someone with DID who can provide feedback and friendship for those of various ages. I am a long-time host and the idea of alters stepping into the body felt absolutely terrifying at first. But I recognize alters now as parts of myself and it's hardly a blip for me.

I buy toys for the littles and even if everyone advised against it, I would still do it because the emotional benefit for us all, of young alters doing something they enjoy (including chores!) while in control of the body is just obvious. Sometimes when they get upset, we figure out more about what happened to us and we're glad for that. Then they don't get triggered about the same thing again, at least as badly.

We're fully co-conscious and there are always older alters watching when younger ones try anything dangerous. Most know they need to "be John" (act adult) or at least not draw much attention in public. I know the body can look odd or childlike, but I had to get over that a long time ago. If people get suspicious, an adult alter can slip forward and re-establish a normal presentation for a bit.

Every system is different. We don't have any persecutors or introjects and we don't lose time. Sharing time in the body works for us. I liken my situation to a middle-aged guy who does not have DID but who focuses too much on work and doesn't make the time to explore other sides of his much larger personality, including the more juvenile aspects of himself. He may act like the others aren't him but that pretense doesn't change the fact that they are. Now that I'm more self-aware, I'm loosening up and letting me be myself (myselves) more often.

Johnny-Jack wrote:I think a decision for each person rests on how your system works, and what your living situation is. For me, I've found that since everyone began waking up a couple years ago, if I don't switch, I develop suicidal thoughts and feelings of hopelessness within a day or two until it's unbearable. It doesn't seem like it's anyone wanting to come forward and me suppressing that, it's more like me without other parts of me finds it hard to function. I can't replenish what I need by myself.

Often alters want to come out to do or see or watch something, so if we're not at work, and even sometimes if we are, I have no problem with it. We're all one person, just different aspects, if dissociated ones. I do know that good stuff spreads through the system when someone other than me the host is out. When someone first starts taking their turn up front, they're uncomfortable. The littles in particular had a hard time staying out for long upon returning because they were unsteady and scared. But over time, with experience of time in the body, it becomes more about other parts of us expressing themselves than being stuck with pain. Also, the more time in the body, the more accustomed they become with their size, age, body and our current reality. Not fully, but it's less triggering.

Another issue for us is that aspects of our full personality, the one that is natural to us all as a whole, are often strongest or even exclusively found in other parts. So confidence, toughness and more of a commitment to survival is held in Dan. When he's not participating, as he wasn't for a couple months recently, it mattered. Little John holds a resilience that is different from everyone else's. Luke owns something like a joy of movement that I didn't even know was a thing, let alone a natural part of us. In my system, theses aspects of us cannot be fully explored or shared other than while spending time in the body, at least to my knowledge.

My life allows me to do this. I don't have family members around who would be unsettled by switching. And I live with someone with DID who can provide feedback and friendship for those of various ages. I am a long-time host and the idea of alters stepping into the body felt absolutely terrifying at first. It felt alien for quite a while too. But I recognize alters now as parts of myself and it's hardly a blip for me.

I buy toys for the littles and even if everyone advised against it, I would still do it because the emotional benefit for us all, of young alters doing something they enjoy (including chores!) while in control of the body is just obvious. Sometimes when they get upset, we figure out more about what happened to us. Then they don't get triggered about the same thing again, at least as badly.

We're fully co-conscious and there are always older alters watching when younger ones try anything dangerous. Most know they need to "be John" (act adult) or at least not draw much attention in public. I know the body can look odd or childlike, but I had to get over that a long time ago. If people get suspicious, an adult alter can slip forward and re-establish a normal presentation for a bit.

Every system is different. We don't have any persecutors or introjects and we don't lose time. So sharing time in the body works for us. I liken my situation to a middle-aged guy who does not have DID but who focuses too much on work and doesn't make the time to explore other sides of his much larger personality, including the more juvenile aspects of himself. He may act like the others aren't him but that pretense doesn't change the fact that they are. Now that I'm more self-aware, I'm loosening up and letting me be myself (myselves) more often.

You just became our new best friend. Your words struck a resounding chord in me, I can't express. Your situation sounds very much like mine as far as system and alters and fronting go right now. As a matter of fact, my entire system went through a massive shift in the past few days and things are changing very rapidly, I just came from therapy with my partner. It's been a really hard few days, but incredible as far as growth inside and reshifting.

Thanks again, what you said came at exactly the right time!