Names for Alters

I am quite new to this forum and to DID.
To DID I am not new in the sense of experiencing, but to its existence meaning there is a term for it.
So I see that many of you have names and ages for alters, but I do not have it - it is just...happening and I am very disorientated (for all my life already).
Yeah, I say for example "the painter" (or something), as it is an alter with painting abilities, which I lose when alter is not accessable (do not know how to word it better).
But the detailed describtion of names and ages: did you had it from your inner self in the sense that you named them from early on or did you worked to it through therapy?
For me it is still more "blurry" , meaning when I become some child and start hand-flapping and turning in circles I do not have a name for it nor an age.
I think -as I have a very analyzing part inside me - that this analyzing I do for the last about 3 years gave me a kind of co-consciousness, as I can describe this hand-flapping child now as I did (before I could not).
I do not know, if I have DID to the "full extend", though I experience amnesia (long inchildhood- memory and daily short-term).
But I never ended up being in a place not knowing how I did get there (though sometimes wondering why I did go there).
Or going there for many many times and still feeling strange to it.
But I have no names or ages defined.
Does it come with therapy?

alizhee wrote:But I have no names or ages defined.Does it come with therapy?

I think it can do... I think it can come with more internal communication and parts of you feeling safe enough to tell you their names or ages BUT it is also okay to NOT have this information dictated within your system at all. I have names for my alters but I can't be sure whether that is because they always had this name, or it is a name they chose since I've been spending my days trying to get to know them. But a lot of systems do have names such as "the painter" or even a rainbow of colours. However unique your system is, is okay.

alizhee wrote:I do not know, if I have DID to the "full extend", though I experience amnesia (long inchildhood- memory and daily short-term). But I never ended up being in a place not knowing how I did get there (though sometimes wondering why I did go there).Or going there for many many times and still feeling strange to it.

The majority of people don't have DID to that extent. DID is a lot more subtle than that, a lot. You are certainly not any "less DID" though because you don't have such extreme and disruptive switches.

thank you for replying, burbon.
I am quite new to DID and I got it "unofficially" diagnosed by psychologist, but psychologist does not like "labeling"...............whole person is important....................where I cannot find "whole person.........and find labeling important to know, in sense of what is going on.
As you describe it, DID is a spectrum...it is good to know, as in diagnostic criteria it sounds quite "cut off" (or my interpretation of it )

a child: like you much for caring
-------------------start rubbing face------------------------------------------------------------

The names were quite easy for us, nearly everyone had a name with which they thought "this is me". Some alters (like Sarah, Florette and Abby) didn't have a name at the beginning, but since it is easy to have a name they looked for a name they wanted. Others (Like Rebel, Angel and Destiny) just picked a word they thought resembles them.
It might be that some don't want a name, don't give them one.

Ages are harder, you'll have to ask an alter how old he/she/it feels. If they don't know, they don't have a specific age.

Thank you for replying, ManyHearts.
I became conscious of very young alter(s?), which do not talk, but have flashbacks.
They cannot talk in therapy either.
Sometimes in therapie I start stuttering and become completely non-verbal.
Sometimes I am non-verbal from in the beginning.

Thanks for asking this question I'd also been curious about whether their names were created at the beginning or if I gave them names recently

Alizhee - I can't name them as I feel them either which can be frustrating. We only find out if our therapist asks and lets us know how they act or feel, then we go away and start asking and someone pops up and says a name, and sometimes age too.

We had it only last session that we said to our therapist it doesn't make sense as the unicorn toy belongs to princess, but pink bear belongs to princess....but not the same princess, but we didn't know we had two. She reminded me that sometimes I've said knowing is worse than not knowing so I have to be patient and let them tell me in their own time. That night in our inner world we saw Princess (4) who was just there playing with pink teddy and said "I'm princess and I'm 4, I play with Tiffany and Layla"

The only way I can get to know them, and them really talk to each other is when I 'picture' them in my head/my inner world but I struggle to connect those names/ages/ emotions inside to how 'I/we' act on the outside.

Not sure if some of that makes sense....maybe just to me in my world lol

Some alters had names when or shortly after we arrived, others didn't really have a name or was loosely attached to the body's name John, which of course was already taken. Once we understood and owned that we have DID and everyone started becoming known within the last couple years, the system -- some of us jointly? our gatekeeper? me, the host? -- affirmed that everyone needed and deserved a unique name of their own.

Whenever we sense an internal search for a new name or when the mind starts rolling around names other than the ones we already have, it's a clue that a new alter is about to arrive or that one who's already appeared needs a name. In the latter case, we haven't yet understood completely that this was someone new. When a name rises up and it feels solid, as in part of our "roster," I know that we have a new member of our group. This phenomenon has happened many times now. In many cases, the name may have started as a branching off from the body's name, John. As in John-Luke, John-Brody, Jean-Marc Dominic,

The names of two young alters, Adam and Ashar, were given by the gatekeeper because he knew they were there and were about to become a known part of our system whereas I had no clue that they had existed. Aaron says he grabbed his own name when he himself became aware he was an alter rather than some point of view and a bunch of thoughts in our head.

My suggestion to anyone with DID or who suspects they have DID or even DDNOS is that if they suspect there is an independent part inside somewhere, they ask for a name and, if one isn't given or found, as a stop-gap measure, they come up with a not-insulting temporary nickname. So if you suspect someone might be there, it's helpful (and in my opinion respectful) to be able to identify and refer to them. So princess could be a descriptive nickname or someone's actual name, depending on how that alter sees herself. If no part or alter is actually there, you're probably not going to create a problem. There are probably rare cases where naming or nicknaming an alter who feels it necessary to remain could be triggering.

My experience is that alters, particularly young ones, benefit from being acknowledged as themselves. They already feel themselves to be different from the others to some extent, so it can be important to affirm that experience. Soon after, it's a good idea to help them understand that they're part of a system and in the same body as others is an important next step to help them understand what's happening. For us, both of these steps have been necessary and grounding for our littles.

We are an unnamed system. After all, it's not like it's compulsory or anything for DID people to develop names for various parts.

It's part of our rule system not to really have names. This is because most see it as dangerous to have names because then outside people could intentionally trigger who they wanted to talk to. We wouldn't want that as it would mean we could be manipulated more easily.

Having said that... There are an extremely minimal number of parts that have developed variations of using our birth name in order to control what outside people call us and hence help control what parts will deal with those various people. This isn't many though, it's only like 3 or so parts in a system of lots.

So anyway, it's not like they come with names necessarily. I know some people give them names over the course of therapy but we didn't really want that (for reasons stated above). So yeah, it's not like there is a set way of doing things when it comes to names. It's obviously helpful to develop communication between parts but that doesn't necessarily have to involve names.

None of my insiders had their own names when I first came to the DID Forum two years ago, nor a few months later when I was diagnosed. But the more I talked about the insiders in therapy and to my husband and other people, the more necessary it became that they have names. At first I had various descriptive names for the ones I knew about, then numbers. Alas the descriptive names were awkward and tended to offend the one in question, and everyone had trouble keeping track of the numbers.

I still use the numbers here. The numbers are keyed to my signature and my insiders do not want me to make their names public.

For example, my Alter 1. At first I called him the killer, then the noticer, empath, channel, animal, Schutzhund, etc. He has a baby name from my family of origin. Then we fused! So he never got his own name. He is my empathic part. I am him. He is me. We are Una.

Alter 2, on the other hand, I called the protector, controller, handler, manager, director, the one who takes possession, etc. My mother had a name for him too, a derogatory name that he refuses to answer to. One night while driving home from a therapy session he spoke up and told me loud and clear that he couldn't take it any more and he had picked a name for himself. So that is his name.

Alter 3 I gave a nickname for convenience: Teen Girl. She and I were the first to fuse, very early on.

Alter 4 I have no idea if she has a name, or even who she is. She is still that walled off from me.

Alter 5 has chosen herself a name but it is painfully embarrassing for me.

I can relate to the embarrassing name! Scarlet calls herself by a name someone else gave her, and I just couldn't stand to call any part of myself by that particular name. I chose Scarlet for her because she and Ruby were switching between each other for a while. I think they were using each other actually. So I chose another shade of red to name her. She doesn't acknowledge the name Scarlet though.