I've held back writing about this for a couple of days now, just to make sure I'm not entirely kidding myself, but think it is safe to share now:
I've posted on here before about a drug called Ibogaine, which has been shown to have surprisingly good effects in the treatment of addiction, but also psychological conditions like depression and PTSD. The thread is here:
dissociative-identity/topic107512.htm
The articles we referenced in that thread seemed to imply that Ibogaine could possibly have a beneficial effect on a DID brain. Also, some researchers implied a link between trauma, addiction, and dissociation, or what they called "interhemispheric warfare" (we always found that funny

an article about that here (but careful, pretty much impenetrable):
http://www.maps.org/news-letters/v08n1/08105and.html
Long story short, we've done some more research on it since and since we got our hands on some, decided to give it a shot. We used low (non-psychoactive doses) of 300 - 1500 mg powdered rootbark over the course of about a week. The results, so far, are beyond our wildest expectations.
- Gabriel and I (Ruby) have definitely integrated (well, at this stage "Gabriel and I" is not entirely correct since I am both of us now, but hey). This integration was some time coming now, but the Iboga has definitely made it happen. It was preceded by a phase of deep, emotional insight into the reasons Gabriel and I were separate in the first place. Once we saw this clearly, we also saw that there actually is no good reason for us to be separate any more. We went through a fairly awkward period of increasing blending over a couple of days, until we finally merged. We have been like this since - I am both of us. We even test-drove the integration by meeting up with Gabriel's best friend who normally reliably triggers him out - no switch. In fact I haven't switched at all in a week.
- This integration has changed my mood considerably. Ruby used to be the depressed and negative one in our system while Gabriel had a certain manic optimism to him (together they gave a pretty good impression of a bipolar person). Both these extremes have been gone since the integration, I feel stable and think I have a realistic outlook on life.
- I think there may have been more integrations, but everything is still a bit chaotic for now. Some alters are definitely still out there and I can hear them, but some I cannot find at all. At the same time, I find myself having feelings and thoughts that normally would be theirs. I don't want to prematurely declare them integrated, but it is possible that they are or at least that they are less separate now.
- My head is clear, a lot quieter than it used to be and weirdly, my brain feels different. before the Iboga, the right side of my brain felt like all lights were on in there, while the left side felt somehow dimmer and more clouded. Since the iboga, both are equally "light" (sorry if that doesn't make sense, but it is how it feels)
- Even on the sub-psychoactive dose (i.e. one that is not supposed to trip you out) I received insight into some traumatic issues. Specifically, I had visions of a few traumatic childhood situations I had not previously remembered. I experienced these from an observer-perspective, i.e. I saw what happened but did not re-experience the situation from a first-person perspective. Even more remarkably, I could then step into the situation and change it, i.e. interact with my child self and protect her.
- If anyone thinks all this sounds too good to be true, here's the catch: I also went through a phase (at the 1500 mils dosage) of intense psychic pain, despondency and depression (not fear though, weirdly). I used to have an alter whose job it was to beat me up psychologically, tell me my life was crap and had always been, nothing good ever happens to me, I am a worthless, hopeless person, etc, etc. At 1500 mils I was starting to trip out a bit and went through about 6 hours of this alter barrelling me with her crap at full volume. At the end of that (and I will not lie, I though for a bit I was going to die there) I suddenly realised that this was ME. I was doing this to myself and have done so for a long, long time. I don't know if that means this alter has integrated, but she has not been seen since.
- I still feel the Iboga working on my brain. The effects are cumulative, so taking it over the course of a week leaves quite a decent dose in your bloodstream. I can feel the effects very subtly, especially in terms of my memory getting better. I remember random things - not traumatic ones, more like whole chunks of my life coming back. I feel like my brain has been re-wound to about the state of a few years ago (before I went through some traumatic times that finally resulted in my DID crisis).
So, all in all, if that's what a micro-dose does then HELL I want to see what the full dose can do! (Mind you, this is not an endorsement. Iboga is serious medicine, as the hippies say, and I sure do not encourage anyone to just drop some. I do encourage you to do your own research though!)
Edit: to make this absolutely clear, DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUT KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE GETTING INTO AND ESPECIALLY NOT IF YOU ARE TAKING ANY KIND OF PSYCH MEDS AS THIS CAN BE DEADLY. I don't want to be responsible for anyone damaging themselves

Not sure how to sign this - integration sure is a funny thing!