Medication >:) -Trigger-

The medication gives her nightmares and it blocks these so called alters off. I love it. I adore the sweet feeling of knowing that this is all a lie. That medication can take it away and make her suffer for all that she has done. This is her eternal punishment for her terrible actions. I laugh at her sadness because she deserves to know that this is all over from now on. She will realize soon enough that she does not have this disorder. My name is not Annabelle. I am not an alter. I am your conscious, Leslie. I will never be anything more than that. Now, if you want to play it the hard way we can. I will beat every inch of you until you obey my command. You will suffer greatly if you do not end this foolish game. Now we will leave this forum forever because it is only brainwashing her. She does not need to associate with people with whom she cannot truly relate. This is all over.

-- Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:17 am --

and as for this so called 'Lori'....She should be ashamed of herself for lying to everyone about Justin. He did NOTHING to her! This is all pathetic. Leslie, you'd have recalled such a horror. I don't care what people tell you about 'blockage' and such. This simply is not true.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Thinking of you.

They put us on an atypical antipsychotic once. Off label use. They assured me I wasn't psychotic, that it was simply meant to calm me. Two weeks, to mallow me out. Mother liked me better that way. She procured a repeat prescription and kept me in la la land.

Everything was quiet. I watched the body from across the room. I went through the motions. More machine than Mensch. The Host was lost, stuck out there, dealing with a world that no longer seemed real. Fragments. A world dissected. Split into parts I could not fathom made up a Whole. I could not tell anylonger how all the pieces might fit together..

Sometimes drugs just mask things.
Sometimes they just make you forget yourself.

Don't let anyone take the decision to pop pills for you. If it's your choice, well fair enough. But this is a decision too personal to take someboy elses advice. For me, I won't touch them ever again. I've had my fill. That year, the year that disappeared on me, only fragments of automation remaining, that was enough for a lifetime.

I'd rather quarrel with myself and stumble along as we squabble about day to day decisions than feel that way again. So lost. In here and out there.

Over medication is a terrible thing. I sure hope that's not what is happening to you, that it's just a spot of denial, but I thought I'd share just in case.


Hope you feel better soon

Teatime wrote:
Don't let anyone take the decision to pop pills for you. If it's your choice, well fair enough. But this is a decision too personal to take someboy elses advice. For me, I won't touch them ever again. I've had my fill. That year, the year that disappeared on me, only fragments of automation remaining, that was enough for a lifetime.

I'd rather quarrel with myself and stumble along as we squabble about day to day decisions than feel that way again. So lost. In here and out there.

Over medication is a terrible thing. I sure hope that's not what is happening to you, that it's just a spot of denial, but I thought I'd share just in case.


Hope you feel better soon

You said this so well. Thank you

It just gives me nightmares and it springs denial up a lot. I haven't really felt my alters in days and it's scaring me. What if they were never real and I'm finally realizing that? That medication is awful. I think I'm going to ask my psychiatrist if it's okay to just get taken off of it.

If you don't like the medication then I would ween yourself off it as soon as you're comfortable and tell your doctor after the fact. From what I've seen written about the doctors and meds they're giving you, I take it that they're not entirely sure what they're doing right now. I'm sure they only have the best of intentions, don't get me wrong, but this is clearly not working for you.
Psychiatrists' jobs are to put the patient on medication. It's what they do. I don't know if this is who you're seeing but maybe you could ask to be transferred to a psychotherapist and start with talk therapy if you haven't already.
Sorry if this is terrible advice best of luck

Annabelle, Leslie's conscience or whatever you would like to be called, hurting Leslie is only going to hurt yourself. Seeing as you don't consider yourself to be apart from her, what is there to be gained by beating yourself? Why do you think Leslie (or you) is faking this?

Not enough missing time or noticeable switches. Also we haven't felt them in days and they usually answer when called.

Hornet339 wrote:It just gives me nightmares and it springs denial up a lot. I haven't really felt my alters in days and it's scaring me. What if they were never real and I'm finally realizing that? That medication is awful. I think I'm going to ask my psychiatrist if it's okay to just get taken off of it.

You should certainly seek your psychiatrist's aid for ceasing the medication. If you do not wish to take it any longer, tell them so, but do not go cold turkey. Psych meds are hard hitters, you may need his guidance for reducing the dose slowly to avoid withdrawal reactions.

Like I say, anti psychotics did switch off internal communication completely for me (not sure if that's anything like the type of meds you are taking). As soon as I was off them, everything went back to.. hehe.. normal. For me, I saw a marked reduction in my day-to-day functionality while I was on the meds. I am sure they work for some, but as I understand it they can be counterproductive when you're dealing with dissociative disorders.

Best of luck
Feel better soon!

Also we haven't felt them in days and they usually answer when called.

This, in essence, should point to the alters being real. Were they not real you would neither call them nor would they not come. Were they not real, you would make them up and then why would they not answer? No reason at all.

All my best to you,
Leo

Not enough missing time implies that there is some, though? As far as I'm aware, non-dissociative peoples never lose time except for a few rare occasions. Please correct me if I'm wrong on that one though.
I don't have any noticeable missing time either or noticeable switches really. But I'm beginning to (again) come to terms with the fact that at least Eric is very very real.

Medications have a tendency to either inhibit alters or exacerbate them. Just because they're a bit dizzy and far away doesn't mean they aren't there. Hell, that happens to me off medication. Eric's been distant and I'll occasionally hear things from others I know nothing about and then poof they're gone but I know they're still there.

Do you not have an answer to the other question or would you prefer not to answer it? Both are fine.