Medication >:) -Trigger-

They have me on risperadone and cellexa. I'm not sure if that would mess with the communication or not.I guess you guys are right. I fall into denial a lot and I hope to get out of this stage permanently one day.

Aliasforafew, thank you as well. I know that it's crazy for me to still fall into denial. I mean, I have so much proof. It's just difficult with Annabelle insisting it's all fake. As for the other question, I can't answer it because Annabelle isn't out right now.

AliasForAFew wrote:Psychiatrists' jobs are to put the patient on medication. It's what they do. I don't know if this is who you're seeing but maybe you could ask to be transferred to a psychotherapist and start with talk therapy

Second that.
While psych meds can "take the edge off" it is therapy that truly facilitates healing.
Sometimes medication is needed so that one is stable enough to begin therapy, but IMO they are never a solution.

But I think you still live at home?
It can be really hard to tackle this stuff when you are living in your childhood home (even if, as may well be the case, they are supportive and only want the best for you).
My Mother wasn't exactly supportive, but she tried her best to be. And still, she conveyed a feeling that I was betraying her by needing external help. This may well not apply to you, but if it does at all, feel free to PM me and we can talk more

-- Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:02 pm --

Hornet339 wrote:They have me on risperadone and cellexa.

Risperadone is exactly the same class of medication I took when communication broke down.

FYI I also took medication in the same class as Cellexa at the same time, but began my course of that months prior to the Risperadone equivalent and still had communication at that point.

However, I am not a healthcare professional so please be aware that this is just my subjective experience.

And as for denial/proof: I have been like this all my life, I am not in my twenties any more, and I still believe the Mara voice in my head when she tells me it's all bunk. *blows a raspberry*
It happens

Teatime wrote:But I think you still live at home?
It can be really hard to tackle this stuff when you are living in your childhood home (even if, as may well be the case, they are supportive and only want the best for you).
My Mother wasn't exactly supportive, but she tried her best to be. And still, she conveyed a feeling that I was betraying her by needing external help. This may well not apply to you, but if it does at all, feel free to PM me and we can talk more

Oh my goodness, this. So much this.

Hornet339 wrote:They have me on risperadone and cellexa. I'm not sure if that would mess with the communication or not.I guess you guys are right. I fall into denial a lot and I hope to get out of this stage permanently one day.

Aliasforafew, thank you as well. I know that it's crazy for me to still fall into denial. I mean, I have so much proof. It's just difficult with Annabelle insisting it's all fake. As for the other question, I can't answer it because Annabelle isn't out right now.

I fall into denial all the time. I don't do much to fight it though, so it's pretty much on me. But then again I just try and let things happen as best I can. Anyhow, it's normal to fall into denial like this but do your best to not be like me and fight it. It's less tumultuous that way, I would say. And even without time loss or drastic switching, I would still say that DID or at the very least DDNOS-1 makes a lot of sense when it's thought about long enough (for me, anyway.) After a while and after comparing it to so many other things it just makes the most sense.
Try and write down all you know to be evidence somewhere as permanent as possible. It really, really helps. It can be very hard but I think it's worth it. Carry around a pen and paper pad and when something strikes you write it down. Keep a few copies around just in case if you think it may get lost, stolen, vandalized, etc.

Sorry about that other question. I'll admit that the colors (or lack thereof) threw me off a little. So sorry!

Greetings Hornet339 ! And everyone else of course.

Before I was diagnosed with DID, my working diagnosis was schizophrenia. As such, I was treated with antipsychotics (risperidone at first, too; seems like an often used option!). In my case, while communication would not be interrupted completely, I did experience a regression on that level. The meds also made me feel "zombie". In my case, antipsychotic medication did not help to reduce the dissociative symptoms (considered as evidence of psychosis at the moment); in fact, they contributed to it. So I was prescribed Abilify, which at the very least had less of an impact, while still not "fixing the psychosis". What really helped in my diagnosis process, ironically, was the fact that I had previous knowledge about psychiatry in general. Most notably, I knew my reality testing was otherwise intact, and that I could subject my symptoms to that mechanism, which I eventually demonstrated to my psychiatrist. Because if I do not have DID, and in fact am being psychotic, well ... it's a pretty laser guided kind of psychosis XD ... and as far as several people know, I am not delusional. My stay inpatient has also helped, ironically, even if I had proposed to verify dissociative symptoms: I was put in a room with another patient (let's call him "Steve") that I think had a psychotic disorder (possible delusions of grandeur, at least: he claimed to be a powerful political leader and god (which was enormously triggering to us) and build a gigantic centalized government tower in the remote city the hospital was in; but he had been hospitalized for more than three months while claiming to be making great strides meeting foreing political leaders), but he claimed to have DID. Talking more with him about it, I realized our experience differed a lot. Our psychiatrist once visited me directly on the ward, to see me in some "normal" context. Me and Steve were discussing and he was aware that he was not very dissociative, but said that the voices (never defined and never precisely shaped into identities) made him feel bad, with only anger being a positive context for the voices. He then went on about how he could modify these "facets" at will to suit the situation, while being totally unable to do so, or not doing it when he claimed to, but that may be hard to properly quantify from an external point of view. My psychiatrist then kindly asked "How does that relate to your experience, Vincent ... or is it Ralph ?", to which I answered "Our experience is very different from this. And you are beginning to recognize each one of us !" [in French, with a Swiss-ish accent, with a large smile made as he mentionned my name] [As said by Ralph, transcripted by host Vincent]

One very important piece of advice is to not stop the antipsychotic the cold turkey way: this could be very dangerous for your health. On the other hand, antipsychotics may have rather annoying side-effects. I experience minor but not insignificant dermatological problems over the course of treatment with antipsychotics.

The best suggestion I can make is to talk to your psychiatrist about dissociation, and determine if he has experience with dissociative patients and knowledge of dissociation. Mine had not met a dissociative patient, but had gotten up to date on knowledge about dissociation, which helped him make a diagnosis, he said. Also, make sure to mention how you feel about the positive and/or negative effect(s) of medication on your well-being: don't be afraid to tell it, a psychiatrist's job is to help patients. When treatments cause more discomfort or harm than the original situation, perhaps it is a good idea to review its usage.

Hope this helps !

if your psychiatrist insists on meds, I m on sertraline. It s good for dissociation, but doesn t take the alters away.

actually, nothin ever will. they are parts of you, crucial parts that make you who you are, every bit is as valuable as the other bit.

I noticed the hostility between the alters, and couldn t help but think this was the denial slashin everyone off, and the meds makin everyone edgy as their existence was no longer acknowledged.

I did n t recall all the names, but if you want to follow the nine steps I ve written down, i d advice you to take it on on one for starters to avoid a complete chaos.

you re a carin person, and I know you love your alters, else there wouldn t be such hard responses to what is happening.

talk to your professionals, they need to support you to get through this.

sendin you all my love

Nina11

-- Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:10 pm --

wanted to add that sertralin, tho bein an antidepressant, works on psychotic characteristics too.

cause I agree that just quittin antipsychotics can be very unwise.

Thank you everyone for your advice and thoughts. I just really miss them. I would be fine with just ONE at least. Will they be gone as long as I'm on the medication? Is there any way to contact them with the meds?

they are never gone.
and yes, you can contact them.
you re not alone.

Love

Nina11

I am a bit angry seeing how many of us had experience with antipsychotics.

There are antidepressants, and anticonvulsants that act for GAD, depression, fibromyalgia. We can feel better but we need to stand up to the doctors. Our alters are not to disappear under risperidone, abilify (that's the cool one to take, since it does not make you add weight and is working mood alleviating. )

My rolleye-opinion is one thing, the fact that there's a world of meds that actually help without messing with what is so crucial to our beings is making the overuse of antipsychotics simply mean.