Healing all parts of your life?

We have been working hard these last few years at healing all parts of our lives. Not focusing solely on the traumas, but also working on getting into good habits in the different parts of life.

A quote from us about what kind of book we are looking for:

Also, do you know of any books about healing the whole self when you have DID or a long history of severe abuse? As in with rest and food and hygiene and entertainment and habits - e.g full healing, what is needed to actually gain a life after severe and on-going abuse? So many books focus on only one subject (the trauma), and doesn't mention much how to get new habits and make a life for yourselves when in better conditions (this is something we work on very much already but would like to read about as well)

I have to assume we are not the only ones walking away from a childhood that have given them very little in the way of knowing what life is supposed to be like, what is normal, what is needed and in general: how to lead a healthy lifestyle.

There are so many things we haven't known anything about or how to do normally, that there's been so much work to do on this over the years since we walked away from the abusers.

I was wondering though, what are everyone's experience in healing all parts of your life and creating better habits (not here really thinking specifically about dangerous things like self-injury or eating disorders etc, but more that as well as general things)?

Thank you all

This is Elf.
I m not sure if I m right in answering but I wanted to give it a try.

We had to learn to be hygienic. How to wash and when. How long to wear clothes and when to change them. How to wash.
We got a routine now. We can t do it all cause the body is very ill, so we organised help.

We learned these things through other peoples suggestions and comments.

Acceptance was very important and still is. That it s okay when things aren t perfect or how you want it. BUt that it s okay howit is now.

RIght now I don tknow how to do administration. Host did that, she passed, how am i to learn? She can t tell me.
Then Book stepped up and offered help.

SO there s help within (alters) and outsied (people, professionals, internet, books, journals, radio-

is that an answer?

Nina11

Thank you Elf.

We had to learn to be hygienic. How to wash and when. How long to wear clothes and when to change them. How to wash.
We got a routine now.

This is true for us, too.

We learned these things through other peoples suggestions and comments.

This is how we learned things too. Thankfully we got to know someone who understood that we really didn't know how to do things or the cultural codes etc and took us under her wing and taught us a lot of the basics of life. There's still lots we don't do "right" and have our SO tell us about and explain, but we are indeed doing better.

Acceptance was very important and still is. That it s okay when things aren t perfect or how you want it. BUt that it s okay howit is now.

So true. We try to look at it as a challenge instead of an obstacle, and accept that we haven't been taught these things so there is no reason for us to expect ourselves to know them.

is that an answer?

Absolutely. Thank you

I hope you figure out how to do administration. You are obviously working hard.

Thinking of you

that means a lot to me

I m not used to ask for support so this is a huge effort for me to let Book step in.

It s a relief that help is out there isn t it?

I m actually a bit relieved I m not alone in the learnn process of how to live a daily life!

much love

Nina11

I'm glad

That's good that you're able to ask for support - you need help right now, naturally.

Yeah, it's nice to hear from you too It's difficult when you've never been taught anything normal and what you have been taught is anything but normal, really. But one step in front of the other and all that

Thank you.

Anyone else here have any experience with this?

Um... we learns through reads books.
And blogs.
We learns through 'cause people say. We learns through 'cause take health class. We learns through 'cause we goes to "professionals".

Yeah, like a dentist taught us how to brush teeths. And he told us flosses. (So did books and other peoples.) And a makeup lady taught us wash faces and do makeups. (Well, so did a friend and a class.) But other people told us goes dentists, tolded us dos makeups. And then we reads book or blog post say, alla people do makeups or ew!, not-brushes-teeths people. And cooking class teaches us cooking.

Yeah, we take what we read/learn/hear with a grain of salt 'cause not everybody knows anything. It's more nuanced than saying, this is what people do, and therefore, you should do it too. Why do people do it? Why do people not do it? We al-ways answer this question before change.

You don't actually have to do makeup; some people don't wear. Bad for skins but make look good but don't overdo it. Can take lossa time.

It is recommended to brush teeth after every meal and floss everyday. Most people brush teeth twice day; not all floss. But you should probably floss and brush your teeth ('cause then they won't fall out and be hurt/painful). But you doesn't has to use mouthwashes (yucky, yucky taste).

Lotsa people does takeouts only, never learns to cooks. Not is healthy and is 'spensive. Learning to cook means you get to eat better food, which is we likes. And people goes, wows, looks you cooks (look what you cooked) - how "delicious".

I think the hardest part of this is asking for the help. Admitting, "I don't know how to do this." I also think that either you can go through life not knowing and being embarrassed about it, or you can spend the rest of your life knowing and helping others with same things. Better to learn in my opinion. And it is helpful to know that many people don't know how to do these things, and that's why these "professionals" "exist". They sees peoples like yous alla day long.

humans are excellent mimickers so I suppose noticing desirable habits in others and learning as much as you can about them. I try to learn something from every person I meet.

My mom is a Narcissist so I had do learn to be less concerned with appearances etc. And other such N things.

michiru: Thank you That's all good advice.

We learned brushing our teeth a while back. We used to brush them about 10-15 times a day but now we brush them twice a day, or use mouth wash if someone is too triggered by it.

Some of us use makeup, others do not. We learned this growing up but about general hygiene. Go birth parents

I'm happy to say after all the years of anorexia we eat healthily and happily now

I think the hardest part of this is asking for the help. Admitting, "I don't know how to do this." I also think that either you can go through life not knowing and being embarrassed about it, or you can spend the rest of your life knowing and helping others with same things. Better to learn in my opinion. And it is helpful to know that many people don't know how to do these things, and that's why these "professionals" "exist". They sees peoples like yous alla day long.

So true. Like I wrote about before, we were so lucky to have someone take us in who understood we were serious when we said we didn't know how to do x y z or why we were supposed to do them. At first we were embarrassed but now we look at it as a learning opportunity I'm hoping we get a good professional someday that we can actually ask about these things. We have our SO though and she's been most helpful in teaching us things

humans are excellent mimickers so I suppose noticing desirable habits in others and learning as much as you can about them. I try to learn something from every person I meet.

My mom is a Narcissist so I had do learn to be less concerned with appearances etc. And other such N things.

To us personally, none of this have to do with appearance, but how to function like a normal human being (how to eat, how to bathe, how to speak our native language to the best of our ability etc). I can definitely see though how that can be needed with a Narc mother. Ours was a "facade family" too and we definitely did some work on not being preoccupied with what others thought of us from the outside.

I do notice I mimic people, seemingly easier than many of the people I've met. I wonder if this is because I rarely have a set system for how I take care of myselves etc, considering I haven't had a "norm" growing up. Hm, hadn't noticed that before now.

Thank you all

I touched upon this very briefly by PM with galaxies, as they usually know how to help

*trigger warning for the entirety of this due mentions of abuse etc, dealing with the physical aftermath etc*
We have long-term problems with our body due to the trauma and torture we endured. Our doctor's and our T have all concluded that these symptoms are not psychosomatic and most of them have a cause we have eventually been able to find.

Dedicated (in some way) to our healing now is:
*a psychologist (which we will be replacing, hopefully within a reasonable amount of time)
*a general practitioner (who is great! )
*a chiropractor (who does great work and has helped us pro bono at times)
*starting up with a neurologist shortly
*may be starting up with a digestive expert that our chiropractor said "he would talk to" and that "we should say hi from him" etc [the chiropractor knows we cannot afford to see the expert unless he works pro bono so we will see what he says on the phone this week]

we have our rheumatology appointment coming up because we have back and pelvis problems due to our past, our bone density scan is coming up in a month and a gynecological exam coming up probably within a week's time.

How does everyone else deal with healing their body in a community that likes to pretend everything is psychosomatic, even when your body has been through more than enough to warrant serious concerns about health? How do you know what to think "this will just have to be good enough" and when to say "I want to heal this part of my body 100%"? When have you tried enough? How do you deal with still feeling the effects of the abuse? How do you deal with how others perceive you because of it?

I want to heal my body and give it what it deserves. It has treated me well and done everything in its power. It deserves healing, just as much as my mind does.