options for the near future

hey, im writing this quickly because since this is something that i had blocked in my own mind, there is a good chance it will be at least fuzzy later (if its there at all).

so LEll was blabbering away to the SO and she revealed a few things about the dark layer. there is apparently another woman there, an adult - we think. she may slide between older teen and adult - were guessing anywhere from 17 to 30. shes usually an adult, but when she cohosts with katie, she slides down in age - LEll said 'because katie makes her younger'. she said jess has seen her a few times a long time ago, but thought she didnt exist, so she forgot. but the woman would watch the introject do his thing and laugh. she has brown-red hair and brown-red eyes, and wears red make up on her eyes and mouth. on one eye, the makeup curls out - supposedly like a bird wing or something. 'jen like a snake, her like a bird'. she said that the woman helps katie when the introject goes too far in his attacks (since katie is present for them) and makes sure that if there is pain, katie doesnt feel it. she was the one experimenting with make-up that nite.

anyway, im tired and not supposed to be out rite now, but i thought i should get this written somewhere before i lost the information. because i already feel like its being blocked out. its kind of infuriating...

It's frustrating that you're being blocked out so much but I'm so glad you were able to write this in time! It's good to know that Katie has someone who's able to help her during the attacks, even if the woman does laugh about the things the introject does sometimes. It's also nice to know what the make-up thing was about that night, since it was kind of a mystery.

The analogy of jen being a snake and her being a bird is kind of scary, I hope it doesn't mean that jen will prey to her somehow.

i hope not. but i think the analogy referred more to the way they do their eye make-up than to their future or nature. but even if it was in reference to some future, its purely in the eyes of this other woman, because jen would never agree to that, no matter who this woman is.

That's really good to hear, I was a little worried for a sec, eye make-up seems pretty harmless. I'm glad jen would never accept that and she would stand up for herself.

hehe. yea, jens a f*cking rock. fae has been coming out to take notes on various gemstones and such. it seems that the asshole guy who supplied me with the flashlite but wont help with katie now is from yet another layer, so i guess thats the REAL third layer? anyway, theres another guy there who is one of the 'important people'. um... i guess i didnt tell anyone this yet, so let me start at the beginning...

ok, so i went in trying to find these 'important people' and figure out what the problem is with taking katie. (this was before my last post happened - earlier that day.) i went to the fae and she said that they were not discussing anything of relevance to me. she said that she is limited by many rules, as are the other 'important people', but if i was going to do this, then i was not bound by those rules and free to do so, and if i wasnt, then i was free to not do so. but that answer didnt satisfy me, because i wanted to know what was going on, i wanted to know if there was any negative thing people were worried about. if it didnt have to do with my plan, then why was it triggered by my plan? so i said that i wanted to meet these 'important people'. she said i already knew most of them. i told her i wanted to meet the other(s). she said, 'no you dont'. but she added that if i was trying to get the asshole guy (since i dont now his name, if he even has one) to change his mind and let katie stay there, i would do better to talk that over with the one who rules over that layer, not her. next thing i knew, i was on a new layer - it had this aura of euphoria, like everything was perfect, nothing coould possibly go wrong. and there was the asshole guy there and another guy as well. the asshole seemed to be expecting me, and it almost seemed like they were already in the middle of discussing it. the asshole guy said to the other guy (not that im sure it was male, mind you...), 'no way im going to accept having that thing here, screaming constantly. your out of your mind!' and he left. so the other guy then looked at me and said 'welcome back'. he took me in his arms, which was kinda more like a poncho/cloak thing, and i immediately felt this immense sense of peace - like nothing could ever go wrong. through discussion, he said that jay and i were originally on that layer, but the introject took us and this guy was unable (i think it kinda had an aura of 'not allowed, but im not sure) to take us back. he said that if we want to take katie there, we can - we do have our own place there, and he would be happy to have us back. but if we bring katie, it doesnt look like the other guy is going to keep her there, and while he can prevent anyone from coming in and taking her (and would even gladly do so in retaliation - he would get an enormous sense of satisfaction from that), he was not permitted to keep her from leaving. so we would have to stay on that layer full time in order to keep her from leaving. of course, this means that i would not be hosting anymore. and with the fact that im taking jess's class and also me and jay are the ones helping the SO through some really tough sh*t rite now, im not sure i can afford to stop hosting permanently. jay doesnt want to stop helping, and seeing how detached that layer seemed to be, we also get the feeling that jay wouldnt be playing with the kids or seeing teen much anymore - which he doesnt like. and other than the other guy, the asshole seems to be the only other company wed have - which doesnt sound so great to me, and jay kinda hates him, so i mean, its very much not appealing rite now...

i want to bring these things up with the T today, but jess wants to be the one to attend the session. i still mite take that away from her... she has another appointment in a week, and this is a little more important, i think, than recapping our entire history for the third time...

Yeah, that offer doesn't sound very good, you and Jay would basically be giving up your lives and not be able to help other people too. You'd basically be cut off from the world, and Katie probably wouldn't even want your help or to be there and that would make it twice as hard. I wish the guy could help you out more and keep her there to help her recover. It sounds like the perfect place for her to go as far as peacefulness and getting better. And I wish the asshole guy wasn't such an asshole >:(

At least it's a step to learning more, and there are more options to consider now. Hopefully this is a sort of gateway to a better solution. The more informed you are about everything the better. And I hope you get a chance to talk to the T, I think this should definitely be brought up with her, hopefully Jess understands and is willing to wait till next week.